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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

7 year old independence

174 replies

Loric · 08/08/2015 00:41

My 7 year turns 8 in September. We're going on holiday to a caravan the week before. I've brought him a £20 mobile phone so when we go he can be free range on the caravan site but I can still get hold of him. I've always been extremely strict with him but I feel like he's old enough and mature enough to have some freedom. I mentioned the phone to a friend and explained why I got and she started a 2 hour tirade about how he's to young to own a phone. It's not a smart phone but 10 years ago it would of been an all singing all dancing phone. Now its laughable it's a samsung clamshell phone that I suppose can access the Internet but it's that old school hyperlinks in blue that takes 10 mins per page to load. She's really knocked my confidence on the whole thing. We're away till the 5th of September he starts the local junior school on the 8th which is a whole new picking up routine where we meet them at the gate rather from individual classes so I feel like he should start having some independence. Aibu to let my son have the phone e both on holiday and on days at school (turned off and hidden till he leaves school grounds) where people other then me are picking him up?

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 08/08/2015 11:25

Phone not really needed at school but whatever. I don't understand the thinking re the beach at 7. Let him poodle round the site but no to the beach.

Goshthatsspicy · 08/08/2015 11:26

Haha! no seven year old will understand the dangers the sea holds!

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 11:32

yes but DS isn't 7 now he is 10 and understands the dangers the sea holds as we live by the sea.

So quick to be condescending and rude aren't we now ladies.

formerbabe · 08/08/2015 11:38

my DS and his friend age 7 went down to collect shells and stones. They would not have gone in the water.

I'm referring to this comment...why would they not have gone in the water? Did you tell them not to? Because 7 year olds are notorious for saying "yes mum" and doing the opposite!

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2015 11:46

Yes Gold but your DC is 10, not 7 and gave been brought up near the sea, so will be more aware of the dangers than a child who has not. Even then, I would not be happy wandering by the sea, as their judgement might not be all that mature.

littlejohnnydory · 08/08/2015 11:47

Whether they can appreciate danger and will do as they are told depends hugely on the child. I let my dd (6 in October) have a similar level of independence to her brother (8 in September). She is a completely different child. Still wouldn't leave either of them alone on the beach though.

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 11:49

formerbabe you were not referring to that comment at all as shown in bold on your previous post back tracking now are we.

Our boys at age 7 would not have gone in the sea because they didn't want to. They just wanted shells and stones. They were not wearing swim wear and they are very intelligent boys. I'm sure more immature and less bright 7 year olds may not be trusted but mine in this instance was perfectly capable.

Oswin · 08/08/2015 11:52

I get it now why people say mn is nothing like real life. People are saying ait till 10, round here that would be considered madness, there walking miles to school on there own the in a year or less. Eight round here is a totally normal time to be going off to th park with friends for an hour. I probably wouldn't be allowing the beach though. Probably just the on site park.

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 11:52

Have any of you been to more than one beach in your lives. There are many beaches where the sea is quite far out and going on the beach poses absolutely no danger with regards to the water as it's so far away.

Goshthatsspicy · 08/08/2015 11:56

gold you are priceless!
And a bit peculiarly braggy
Your original post that former picked up on, indicted that you let your seven year old go alone to the beach, as he was smart enough and understood the sea.
There ain't no seven year old that smart!

EastMidsMummy · 08/08/2015 11:56

Where are you, Oswin - the 70s? :)

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 12:23

rolls eyes there is a space between the paragraphs.

The first paragraph refers to an incident when DS was 7.

The second paragraph on my post is my current opinion now DS is 10.

That is how I wrote it regardless of how you read it or see it.

Goshthatsspicy · 08/08/2015 12:25

Okay then gold
Still think you were a bit braggy in your subsequent post.

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 12:30

What Braggy about having an intelligent mature son do you mean, who is taller than most, stronger than most, a natural born leader and an alpha male, with pots of kindness and charisma.

No not Braggy just a fact, I can't help the type of DS I have, but it does allow him more freedom and trust than others his age.

Bunbaker · 08/08/2015 12:37

"Our boys at age 7 would not have gone in the sea because they didn't want to. They just wanted shells and stones. They were not wearing swim wear and they are very intelligent boys. I'm sure more immature and less bright 7 year olds may not be trusted but mine in this instance was perfectly capable."

They don't even have to go in the water to be in danger. The topography of some beaches mean that you could be cut off by the incoming tide.

And as for telling a 7 year old not to go near the sea - yeah right. Conley Thompson was told not to play in the construction site. (Sorry for bringing this up again, but 7 year olds just don't see risk the way adults do).

Floggingmolly · 08/08/2015 12:38

No 7 year old is completely safe on a beach alone. Besides, it's a bit of a crappy holiday going about completely alone, whether it fosters independence or not, isn't it?
If he's an only child, why not bring a friend along? I still wouldn't allow them on the beach by themselves though.

Floggingmolly · 08/08/2015 12:40

Wow, Goldblue, your boys have got it all, haven't they? . according to their doting Mama, anyway...

Goldbluemagenta · 08/08/2015 12:44

Yes I'm truly blessed, and oh so very doting I send them to the beach alone (once)

firesidechat · 08/08/2015 12:46

I think it's too much to expect a 7 year old not to paddle if they go to the beach. The temptation would be overwhelming for most youngsters without a parent around to remind them. It's also so easy to get lost on a beach.

If something did happen and someone in authority got to hear about it then I think you would be in serious trouble.

Goshthatsspicy · 08/08/2015 12:48

Oh gold my humour has left me now.
I think you are on the wind - up.

Potcallingkettle · 08/08/2015 12:58

I second what everyone has said about training him to go to the school office if there is a problem. They will have a full list of contacts in the priority order you chops and it will be reassuring for him to let an adult organise what needs to happen. The school would say the same too. Also you do not want to posting on here next year saying 7 year old DS has lost / had his phone stolen at school.

Potcallingkettle · 08/08/2015 12:59

Choose not chops!

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 08/08/2015 12:59

I think it's pretty young.

Why not a walkie talkie? We use them on holiday to allow for independence.

UrethraFranklin1 · 08/08/2015 13:59

A 7 years old shouldn't be going to the beach alone, phone or no phone. Or anywhere else for that matter.

(PS, you mean bought, not brought)

Original poster

Loric · 08/08/2015 19:07

The beach can be seen from the caravan we've booked it's more so I'm not screaming myself hoarse getting him to come back. He also does have independence at home so I can't understand why people are assuming he's never been to the shop alone. He goes to the shop at the end of the road and the park over the road which is about the same distance as the beach and the caravan. I can see him at all times. He knows he has to ask me before leaving the park to go to a friends house and when he's out he's extremely level headed and doesn't give in to peer pressure (whenever the other boys want him to go to the further shop which he knows is to far he says no and comes home while they go). I spoke to the school about our situation before the end of term and they actually suggested a cheap phone. It's only 1-2 days a week and so long as he follows the rules their happy. It seems to be 7 he's too young but 8 is fine when it comes to independance. He turns 8 during the holiday and acts older. As for the walkie talkie idea I looked at them but the only new I've seen nearby are not kids ones and cost more than the actual phone.

OP posts:

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