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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report family member for benefit fraud?

237 replies

YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 08:18

I have a family member who openly (to family) commits benefit fraud. she has one child, who is between 1 and 2 (trying not to out self here). She claims income support and child benefit, housing benefit etc as a single mother, however her partner lives with her (but "legally" lives with and pays tax etc from his mums house) I know that including benefits they have an income of 5k every month. I can't say which is benefits and which is her partners income as i've never asked but I know benefits are low and probably wouldn't top 1.5k max a month including housing benefit.
It really does bother me, as she is quite happy to rub it in my face, she is college qualified and has applied for jobs over the last 7-8 months or so, but has turned down 9 jobs because "I want to be able to afford my monthly boohoo shop and until I can do that in a job I'm staying on benefits" it really does irk me as I know she does not need this income and its wrong while thousands are being sanctioned every week and not having money to live on and she's laughing all the way, I've had to claim benefits myself and I feel people like her just keep the stigma going! I really really want to report but I don't know how many people she has told and if she has only told immediate family I worry it'll kick up a massive stink, I can't lie to save my life either!
WIBU to report her for fraud?

OP posts:
Original poster
YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 20:00

No one wants to tell me how or why im jealous???

OP posts:
NewLife4Me · 06/08/2015 20:02

Well lets see, why should you be ashamed? Oh yes. So you have informed her that you have reported her? I bet you don't. This relative that you were not prepared to go nc or less contact, because they are so close.
What a two faced person you are.
You'll be supping tea and cakes next, pretending you like them.

Babyroobs · 06/08/2015 20:05

Why should op be ashamed for reporting someone who is fraudulently claiming thousands of pounds she is not entitled to? The longer it goes on and the more she steals the worse the outcome will be.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/08/2015 20:13

I can't lie to save my life either

Well you'll have to now OP, or 'fess up that you shopped her. In which case you might as well have just given her a three day deadline to put things to rights.

I absolutely think she should stop claiming any fraudulent benefits, but I"m slightly stunned that you wouldn't give her the chance to do so voluntarily before reporting her. You were a bit too adamant that you wouldn't tell her first. That's the bit that's a bit hard to understand really.

Like I said before, you had nothing to lost by giving her the chance.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/08/2015 20:15

lose

fishboneschokus · 06/08/2015 20:18

I haven't read the whole thread yet but I do have a question. On threads like these, the indignation seems to come from the openness of the alleged fraudster. Would it be different if they suppressed what they were doing? If I were doing this I would be keeping quiet.

Pumpkinpositive · 06/08/2015 20:21

To all those people telling the OP, don't report her, she'll get found out eventually anyway yadah, yadah, yadah:

If she's going to get found out at some point, wouldn't it be better she get caught now rather than few years down the line when she's had time to run up an eyewatering amount of fraud, and is far more like to get the book thrown at her (lengthy custodial sentence)?

DesertIslander · 06/08/2015 21:07

IMO you did the right thing, OP

Loafliner · 06/08/2015 21:23

The joy in watching someone else being caught is a tad unpleasant isn't it? Op you are gutless - going behing someone's back, no courage or honesty to confront, you have behaved in a spineless fashion, there is no dignity in your manner. It all seems a bit too personal - she's got all that and you've got nothing - well now you've shown her haven't you?

Bubblesinthesummer · 06/08/2015 21:37

she's got all that and you've got nothing - well now you've shown her haven't you

Well no actually she has got 'all that' which isn't hers.

She is fraudulently claiming a large amount of benefits.

In case people have forgotten it is a criminal offence.

I can't believe people think this is ok.

Original poster
YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 21:37

Shes got all that and i've got nothing...
Excuse me, but where the bloody hell are you getting your information on my life, finances and circumstances from? Because I sure as shit haven't said anything. Sure, I'm jealous of someone with an income of less than half of mine, an income that they get fraudulently at that. so jealous, I'm green!

OP posts:
CerealEater · 06/08/2015 21:49

Gutless for reporting the fraud, have heard it all now. Would you suggest we ask burglars to stop mid job and give them the chance to put it all back?

Theft is theft, this is more calculated as its done day in day out knowingly. The amount that would let it continue is amazing, don't we teach right from wrong as a basic anymore?

Newbrummie · 06/08/2015 21:49

You've done nothing wrong OP

cruikshank · 06/08/2015 22:08

Bubblesinthesummer - yes, she does sound like she's not really single. But throughout this thread, from the opening post onwards, as well as discussion of possible fraud there has been talk that implied that the fact that she doesn't want to take work on is also somehow dishonest or to be condemned when actually if she were single with a child under 2 years old she would be entitled to income support and not classed as a jobseeker, so whether or not she is looking for work or turning down 100 jobs a week even is irrelevant.

Spiegelei · 06/08/2015 22:11

Well done OP. I fail to understand why benefit fraud requires someone to confront the person in advance and expect them to do the right thing. If they were dealing drugs or dipping into the purses of the outraged I doubt you'd have had the the number of negative responses. But hey we're only tax payers, I suppose I should happily fund the lifestyle of someone who doesn't have to drag their arse out to work like I do every day because they are lying and manipulating a system that it is supposed to be there as a safety net. It's people like this that the government are using to erode the welfare state.

And don't even bother trying to equate this to tax evasion. The two are so separate in the eyes of the government that it makes little difference. The OP has probably done her a favour. An overpayment versus a prison sentence.

Lostlight · 06/08/2015 23:03

Report her or not. Who cares.

It's been done to death here. You got what you wanted, all the frothing and predictable reactions.

Report if you want, just have the guts to confront your relative with her actions and be honest with her how you feel. Put your hand up and own it.

It's the anonymity I can't stomach, do it, but fucking own it.

sleeponeday · 06/08/2015 23:16

Your relative's DP earns around £75,000, and she commits fraud that would roughly bring in around another £20,000 of taxable salary, so household income would be edging that of someone on £100,000? And she not only feels no shame about the fraud, or fear of being caught, she actually constantly boasts about it to people, going into minute detail about all her family finances?

And you are on more than double their income, so your household income would be around the £200,000 pa, pre-tax, level?

And for the benefits agency not to be suspicious, she must live in a relatively modest property - I mean, they only pay a capped amount towards a rental, and they presumably insist on seeing a rental agreement. It would be flagged up as possibly/probably fraudulent if that rental was massively higher than the contributory ceiling, no? And people on here say the HB ceiling now is the cheapest 30% of properties, which includes social housing, so probably knocks it down to the cheapest 20% at most, instead. Why are this high earning family living in a dirt cheap rental property instead of buying? Sure, it's free money, but what for, if they have to live somewhere cheap and rented? Confused

Why is she shopping at what, from a quick recce, looks like the online equivalent of Primark? Confused I mean, I'm all in favour of non-materialistic, frugal people. But you've described her as extravagant and spendthrift. If they don't have a mortgage and they live somewhere cheap, and her idea of a spendalooza is that site... where the hell is all the cash going?

lemonade30 · 06/08/2015 23:46

you know OP your reasons for reporting her don't have to be noble.

its fine with me if you want to report her out of a sense of envy/injustice.

If you want to see her laughing on the other side of her fraudulent face. thats cool. own it and crack on Smile

TendonQueen · 06/08/2015 23:57

Don't see why the OP has to do a big face to face warning to this person before reporting them. If you suspected your neighbour was a terrorist, or hitting his kids, or being cruel to his dog, would you feel obliged to tell him before you called the authorities? Sounds like people imagine life is all like an episode of Poirot.

EgyptianSnow · 07/08/2015 00:54

Op it's really up to you, she sounds annoying and I can see why you want to with all her boasting.
If I was in your position I would tell her to stop boasting and stop doing it before she gets a criminal record

Loafliner · 07/08/2015 06:51

Tendon those crimes you have suggested reporting your imaginary ndn for all involve violence - this is fraud and not at all on the same level as terrorism, cruelty to animals or child abuse.
Has anyone reported themselves for speeding? I'm sure we've all done it - we've broken the law and risked life - reported your family and friends?

sanfairyanne · 07/08/2015 07:13

you have an income of 10k a month? or 5k a month? this story is starting to sound more stretched by the minute!

MarchelineWhatNot · 07/08/2015 07:43

UnbelievableBollocks, don't be so fucking rude, I was trying to make a point using a hypothetical situation.

I don't live in the UK so don't know the rules, but again, it was a hypothetical situation to prove a point.

funkybuddah · 07/08/2015 08:43

My friend is single due to her partner dying and leaving them and their dcs, she has just had a huge chunk of money cut and it's going to be close to the bone every single month. So they get no maintenence or anything either , she is why you were right to report the fraud. If it was someone doing an extra cash in hand shift here and there to pay for Xmas etc I'd probably say no but she has access to excessive funds. She doesn't need the money.

milliemanzi · 07/08/2015 08:53

Sleeponeday has hit the nail on the head, I strongly suspect the op's family member isn't bringing in half as much money as she states.