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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report family member for benefit fraud?

237 replies

YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 08:18

I have a family member who openly (to family) commits benefit fraud. she has one child, who is between 1 and 2 (trying not to out self here). She claims income support and child benefit, housing benefit etc as a single mother, however her partner lives with her (but "legally" lives with and pays tax etc from his mums house) I know that including benefits they have an income of 5k every month. I can't say which is benefits and which is her partners income as i've never asked but I know benefits are low and probably wouldn't top 1.5k max a month including housing benefit.
It really does bother me, as she is quite happy to rub it in my face, she is college qualified and has applied for jobs over the last 7-8 months or so, but has turned down 9 jobs because "I want to be able to afford my monthly boohoo shop and until I can do that in a job I'm staying on benefits" it really does irk me as I know she does not need this income and its wrong while thousands are being sanctioned every week and not having money to live on and she's laughing all the way, I've had to claim benefits myself and I feel people like her just keep the stigma going! I really really want to report but I don't know how many people she has told and if she has only told immediate family I worry it'll kick up a massive stink, I can't lie to save my life either!
WIBU to report her for fraud?

OP posts:
Loafliner · 06/08/2015 16:26

I wouldn't report a family member for something like this. I might however say something to her though, at least to stop talking about it.

malloo · 06/08/2015 16:36

Report. I don't get this whole 'it's different if it's family' business. Either what she's doing is ok or its not and this is clearly not.

Original poster
YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 16:40

Reported. thanks again all. x

OP posts:
kilmuir · 06/08/2015 16:42

she is a thief. why should she be allowed to pinch from everyone else?
dob her in, thats her fault

Spartans · 06/08/2015 16:43

Report. I don't get this whole 'it's different if it's family' business. Either what she's doing is ok or its not and this is clearly not.

exactly this ^^

Anniesaunt · 06/08/2015 16:48

If she's that insecure I her relationship she shouldn't be in it them.

Any single one of us could find ourselves in dire financial straights at any time. It wouldn't have to involve a relationship breakdown either. It doesn't mean that people should commit fraud and claim when they are above the threshold.

UnbelievableBollocks · 06/08/2015 16:51

Question to all those who would not report… if it was your illegal immigrant neighbour who was claiming fraudulently, would you then? I bet most of you would.

This has to be one of the dumbest things I've read on MN for an age and proof positive that the site is getting dafter.

Illegal immigrants can't claim benefits as they're not in the system as they're illegal you numpty.

FurtherSupport · 06/08/2015 16:54

Are you quite sure Unbelieveable?....I was certain the welfare bill was all the illegal immigrants' fault Grin

UnbelievableBollocks · 06/08/2015 16:56

Yes, it's those illegal immigrants who are simultaneously stealing our jobs while claiming benefits. The bastards Grin.

Spartans · 06/08/2015 17:03

Actually they have been immigrants who have been denied the right to stay here, who have then gone to claim benefits.....illegally.

Its illegal because they have no right to them.

So they have no right to be here makes them an illegal immigrant.
trying to then claim benefits by filling in the paper work as though they do have the right, makes them an illegal immigrant claiming benefits illegally.

Its certainly not many. However, I believe the statement is correct.

Many people wouldn't report family, but would report a neighbour who had been denied the right to stay who then claimed benefits.

UnbelievableBollocks · 06/08/2015 17:09

If they were denied the right to stay and then filled in their details on govt forms, they'd be as stupid as the original statement. They wouldn't have NI numbers for a start.

Spartans · 06/08/2015 17:17

Not always. The one who have done it are the ones whose visas had expired. Then applied to stay and it was denied. They used the information they had when they were hear legally and didn't get found out for a while.

UnbelievableBollocks · 06/08/2015 17:22

Being denied leave to stay isn't like having someone move in with you, where no one may find out for a long time. When you're denied the right to stay the govt knows as they made the decision. Ergo, no benefits.

PoundingTheStreets · 06/08/2015 17:30

I'm going to take everything you've said on face value OP. In which case, your relative is committing benefit fraud and I'd have no sympathy if she was caught.

However, what's your objective here? Is it a (justifiable) moral anger at someone ripping off the system or something else? The reason I ask is because if you're not prepared to do it 'above board' (i.e. talk to her about what you're going to do), you need to ask yourself why. Unless you understand your own motives, things can turn out not quite the way you expect. I understand where you're coming form because I was once in the position where I had to call social services on a friend. Out of consideration for my friend and my own conscience, I had a long chat with said friend about it before I did it, making it clear I could not ignore or condone her behaviour and my purpose was to ensure the welfare of her child, but that I'd support her through the fall out in any way I could to improve her family situation. IT was one of the most difficult conversations I'd ever had, but it worked out way better than if I'd done it behind her back. I stood up for what I believed in.

Spartans · 06/08/2015 17:44

Well then the Kenyan wan who got done for it, in Birmingham should appeal. Because someone says on mumnet it doesn't happen.

My point is that you claim the statment is stupid. Except it isn't as illegal immigrants and tried to (and been successful) in claiming benefits, which they are not entitled to. Therefore they are claiming illegally.

are you sayinf the goverents computers are incapable of mistakes or missing things? Then benefit fraud wouldnt exist at all.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 06/08/2015 17:47

Just read your comment, YODO.
How are you feeling. It can't have been an easy decision to come to.

Loafliner · 06/08/2015 17:50

I wouldn't report my ndn either...and I haven't reported countless contracters for offering me a cash Vat free deal too.

Original poster
YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 17:54

I feel ok about it as reporting a close family member for a crime goes. It wasn't an easy decision, the posts here helped immensely even the "yabu"s helped in a way, I'm glad I did it the way I did,for reasons I don't wish to disclose (would be pointless now anyhow) talking to her just wouldn't work. she isn't the sort of person to just go "Ok I've fucked up time to cancel my claim and go legit" if I thought that would work i'd have done it months ago.
Crack on with your discussions ladies and gents but its all done and dusted now on my end. thank you again all x

OP posts:
Spartans · 06/08/2015 17:55

Glad you feel ok about your decision OP.

You know her, we don't. If you feel ok with it, chances are it was the right decision.

UnbelievableBollocks · 06/08/2015 18:03

Thanks Spartans. That 2 year old article has opened my eyes that someone can pay tax and national insurance though they don't have right to stay.

I have to say though, that talking to you has rather been like having a battle of wits against the unarmed.

MrsJorahMormont · 06/08/2015 18:05

Report her if this is for real.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 06/08/2015 18:12

She has reported Jorah

TheSnufflet · 06/08/2015 18:14

Do let us know how it turns out OP - it seems bonkers that a man on such a high salary would risk a criminal record so his wife can shop at Boohoo? Confused

cruikshank · 06/08/2015 18:16

Well, I was going to advise you not to report, OP, because the potential consequences for you and her and her child could be massive, but I see you've gone and reported her anyway.

Ok. So instead I'll just clear a few things up:

  • The govt itself estimates that benefit fraud costs less 1% of total benefit expenditure every year. Benefit fraud is not bringing the country to its knees.
  • Benefits are not being cut because of benefit fraud (clearly, as it represents less than 1% of all benefit expenditure). They are being cut because we have a Tory government in power who are idealogically opposed to having a welfare state at all. If you don't want benefits to be cut, don't vote Tory. It's as simple as that.
  • A lone parent with a child under 5 years old is not obliged to look for work. Therefore she can turn down as many jobs as she likes.