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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report family member for benefit fraud?

237 replies

YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 08:18

I have a family member who openly (to family) commits benefit fraud. she has one child, who is between 1 and 2 (trying not to out self here). She claims income support and child benefit, housing benefit etc as a single mother, however her partner lives with her (but "legally" lives with and pays tax etc from his mums house) I know that including benefits they have an income of 5k every month. I can't say which is benefits and which is her partners income as i've never asked but I know benefits are low and probably wouldn't top 1.5k max a month including housing benefit.
It really does bother me, as she is quite happy to rub it in my face, she is college qualified and has applied for jobs over the last 7-8 months or so, but has turned down 9 jobs because "I want to be able to afford my monthly boohoo shop and until I can do that in a job I'm staying on benefits" it really does irk me as I know she does not need this income and its wrong while thousands are being sanctioned every week and not having money to live on and she's laughing all the way, I've had to claim benefits myself and I feel people like her just keep the stigma going! I really really want to report but I don't know how many people she has told and if she has only told immediate family I worry it'll kick up a massive stink, I can't lie to save my life either!
WIBU to report her for fraud?

OP posts:
SylvanianCaliphate · 06/08/2015 14:02

I wondered how long it would take someone to make the "tax avoidance is worse so this is ok" argument, and it's there on page 3.

If this was aimed at my post you are wrong.
I wasn't making an argument on how severe either were, I was posting for context and clarity.
The perception of benefit fraud being a huge cost to the taxpayer so therefore absolute duty to report is madness.
There is fraud, it does cost money, it is wrong and, well, fraud.
It is no better or worse than other frauds though.
(I'm not excusing any crime or fraud in fact I think if you are the type to do this then it's only opportunity that dictates benefit or tax fraud)

The belief that there would be more money in the pot for the genuine if the greedy didn't steal is admirable but it just wouldn't happen.
I really dislike the emotive way we see benefit fraud now and see the perpetrators as scum.

I pay tax, 40% because that is what the system says I should.
I doubt I would voluntarily pay that much if they gave me a choice but thems the rules so I pay it.

It's so much more important that the people whose job it is to collect taxes or pay benefits do what they are paid to do correctly than the end user collects correctly.

If the system works, then the end result is correct.

Maybe because I'm not NT I don't understand how volatile this type of fraud is for people but it isn't better or worse than any other fraud.

suitsyou · 06/08/2015 14:05

Bloody hell give me her details and I'll report her .

She should be investigated for fraud, the taxpayer could be punished for her false claims. Benefits are there for those who truly need welfare assistance and its people like her that create animosity.

SylvanianCaliphate · 06/08/2015 14:07

Spartan it should be family kicking you up the arse, telling you to have a word with yourself and stop being greedy.
Not reporting you.
Because it will be family that look after your kids when you get a custodial.

Spartans · 06/08/2015 14:15

Sylvanian She is unlikely to get a custodial. Besides which both her and her partner are commiting fraud. If she tells everyone else, he knows. Also she is aware that she is breaking the law, if she did go to prison. Its of her own doing. The blame is not with the person that reported her.#

Maybe she should put her child first and not do this, maybe she should be worried about what will happen to her child if she gets found out.

Sorry but I don't agree that family should be giving her a kick up the arse. She knows its wrong, it doesn't take another adult to tell her that.

potap123 · 06/08/2015 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SylvanianCaliphate · 06/08/2015 14:47

Spartan many years ago I had to accompany my DF while we reported a family member.
It was one of the 'unforgivable' crimes so there wasn't and hesitation or question of not doing it.
The fallout was massive, the immediate family and wider were all affected and to this day some don't have contact with others because of it.
This was a much more serious situation but the ramifications can go on for years.
I think it's better to try and handle this in family as much as possible, imagine a criminal record on top of reluctance to work.
It is our job sometimes to guide and help all our family, even when they are being idiots.

Chattymummyhere · 06/08/2015 14:50

I would report her.

I've reported family before benefit fraud is agasint the law. All those who don't report it just help with the whole everyone's claiming more than they should.

I reported some one who claimed a child was living with them when they where not and also getting money from SS due to having this looked after child. So they lost the extra bedroom entitlement, the SS money, and other bits they claimed.
They filed for bankruptcy after then 2 weeks later put down a deposit on a brand new car.

Still didn't stop then moaning about not be able to eat out most days a week, how would they now afford to go to bingo despite having such crippling depression and anxiety they claim they cannot work or be in social situations yet as I said above ate out most days, played bingo out most days and went to the gym regularly. Treating friends and family to expensive meals/shopping trips and holidays.

MarchelineWhatNot · 06/08/2015 14:55

Question to all those who would not report… if it was your illegal immigrant neighbour who was claiming fraudulently, would you then? I bet most of you would.

SylvanianCaliphate · 06/08/2015 14:58

If they were illegal they couldn't claim benefits ......

Maybe a really daft illegal would ring up and say hello I'm here but I'm not can I have my benefits and goat please.

MarchelineWhatNot · 06/08/2015 15:04

SylvanianCaliphate, I am just trying to make a point.

MarchelineWhatNot · 06/08/2015 15:06

… my point being that it's presumably OK for people to commit fraud if they are 'family'. I just imagined those same people would not be so forgiving if it was someone else.

MrsHathaway · 06/08/2015 15:08

if she's not doing anything wrong she'll have nothing to worry about

Apart from having her benefits stopped while they investigate. Unless I was absolutely 100% certain I couldn't risk that.

sleeponeday · 06/08/2015 15:21

You're saying that her takehome, disposable, is 4.5k a month? So 54k a year, after her DP has paid tax?

Why would anyone take such a massive risk for the extra money, if their wages were on that sort of level? That doesn't make any sense. If he's paying into a pension like a sane individual, and taking £600 a month for his personal use, he has to be on £75k - yet she's claiming on top? And showing off about it? I must be very sheltered, but I would assume someone prepared to commit this kind of fraud on that kind of income would have the brains to keep quiet.

Up to you, OP. If you are telling the truth, I'm certainly not sympathetic given how many people are losing money they desperately need, but due warning: in her position, if you are/this is for real, they could make an example andjail her. It's not as simple as just stopping the money/making her repay it being the only possible repercussions.

LilyMayViolet · 06/08/2015 15:24

I'm confused by the post earlier by Dashoflime. I'm sure it is hard to properly define a relationship but surely living at an address for several months, being engaged and having been a couple for 7 years is fairly decisive isn't it?

Op I think I'd tell her what I think and warn her of the possible consequences. Not sure I'd actually report her but can see why others would.

SylvanianCaliphate · 06/08/2015 15:26

March I wouldn't report, I've been clear why.
Not because I don't think it is wrong, I do.
I actually think that people who can be so blase about cheating the system are missing a big fat chunk of morality and conscience.

I also think we have a knee jerk reaction about benefits because we are being conditioned to attack each other instead of help.

The issue is someone getting what they shouldn't.
If the family member stops claiming then the goal is achieved.

Surely it's in the OP interest not to cause a fuck tonne of other damage to achieve that goal?

MarchelineWhatNot · 06/08/2015 15:33

But Sylvanian, what if the OP warns her relative she will report them and the relative just laughs and carries on claiming? What then?

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 15:41

Marcheline OP runs the risk that if she warns the relative and the relative laughs and carries on that if OP does report then the relative will most likely guess it was OP who reported her.

personally I think this relative can't be that naive - she just knows she's playing the system and won't get found out, probably thinks she 'deserves' this and why should she work? so therefore I would shop her. and not warn her.

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 15:42

i suppose the only reason I would warn the relative is say they wanted to emigrate in the future with a criminal record you can't do this.

MarchelineWhatNot · 06/08/2015 15:43

SuperFlyHigh, I agree with you. I would report her. And chances are if she's bragging to OP, she's bragging to all her mates as well, so it could be anyone who reported her.

If benefit fraud were wiped out, this would leave a lot more money in the pot and therefore easier for community groups to push for higher benefits for those genuinely in need.

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 15:46

My friend was doing this like I say a few years back - she wasn't creaming it in - but it made her life easier. A few couples I knew (friends of my brothers) did this - before they married. now all of them have jobs and mortgages and wouldn't do this.

when times are hard and you have XXX amount of children and not much money coming in sometimes you're pushed to fraud. but this woman just seems to be taking advantage because she can.

Babyroobs · 06/08/2015 15:53

YAHBU . You can report her anonymously online. Just google ' Reporting Benefit Fraud'. It is a very simple online form.

IsadoraQuagmire · 06/08/2015 16:00

I'd have already reported her if I were you, and wouldn't warn her first, I'd want her to get a terrible shock. I wouldn't care in the slightest about her being a family member.

Gottagetmoving · 06/08/2015 16:10

She may not have a secure relationship with her partner so is staying on benefits for that reason, however, she really should come off benefits if his income is reasonable and he is contributing.
Whether you report her is a matter for your conscience.
It is a risk she takes so you shouldn't really feel guilty if you do report her.

Superexcited · 06/08/2015 16:21

She has been with him for 7 years and has a child with him, how secure do you wsntvthecrelationship to be?
Should we all just (those living with long term partners) claim single parent benefits and give the excuse that our relationships didn't feel as secure as we would have liked?

Spartans · 06/08/2015 16:26

She may not have a secure relationship with her partner so is staying on benefits for that reason

Thats not a reason to claim benefits.

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