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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report family member for benefit fraud?

237 replies

YUDOTHIS · 06/08/2015 08:18

I have a family member who openly (to family) commits benefit fraud. she has one child, who is between 1 and 2 (trying not to out self here). She claims income support and child benefit, housing benefit etc as a single mother, however her partner lives with her (but "legally" lives with and pays tax etc from his mums house) I know that including benefits they have an income of 5k every month. I can't say which is benefits and which is her partners income as i've never asked but I know benefits are low and probably wouldn't top 1.5k max a month including housing benefit.
It really does bother me, as she is quite happy to rub it in my face, she is college qualified and has applied for jobs over the last 7-8 months or so, but has turned down 9 jobs because "I want to be able to afford my monthly boohoo shop and until I can do that in a job I'm staying on benefits" it really does irk me as I know she does not need this income and its wrong while thousands are being sanctioned every week and not having money to live on and she's laughing all the way, I've had to claim benefits myself and I feel people like her just keep the stigma going! I really really want to report but I don't know how many people she has told and if she has only told immediate family I worry it'll kick up a massive stink, I can't lie to save my life either!
WIBU to report her for fraud?

OP posts:
GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 10:04

I would probably stay out of it, but I suppose there are good reasons to report.

If she's peddling this information as freely as you suggest, someone else will probably beat you to the punch.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/08/2015 10:13

OP you say you can't 'lie to save your life', in which case you're going to struggle when the shitstorm occurs and she's sobbing about who grassed her up.

I don't think you should do nothing. I think you should tell her what you intend to do before you do it. If your desire is to stop her claiming benefits to which she is not entitled, rather than cause a horrendous situation for her (albeit of her own making), then talk to her about it.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 06/08/2015 10:18

It's because of people like this that innocent genuine benefit claimants are mocked picked on and vilified.
Now Most people can give a straight do or don't answer but me In this instance I am torn.
I can see and understand your anger. You're going out to work everyday and yet she has more money than you. There is not a person out there who would say that is fair. Now if she committing fraud because it was the difference between whether her children could eat or not or had suitable clothing in order to supply energy to the house. (Gas/lecky) basically for survival then you do turn a blind eye. On that situation it would be corrupt to report, but she is doing it out of pure greed and she is doing herself no favours rubbing things in your face. That is something no one likes. Especially a hard working citizen such as yourself. No I am not going to influence you in anyway on what to do. That is your decision.
But if you do decide to report please be mindful that if you pick up that phone. If found guilty she could face a custodial sentence. It's not unheard of for benefit fraud. Would you want that on your conscionce. Not trying to deter you but you have to consider all these possibilities or those children being without their mother,
Some way some how. It will come out that it was you. Things always do, could you deal with the fall out.
Like I said, only you can make the decision.

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 10:23

I would report her.

you obviously don't like her though.

or do you dislike her because she's 'getting away with it' and has more disposable income than you?

CerealEater · 06/08/2015 10:25

I would report, theft is wrong under every circumstance.

specialsubject · 06/08/2015 10:25

'don't sneak' belongs in the playground - and is questionable there.

if you are sufficiently sure of your ground, report this thief. Same as you report any other thieving.

ReginaBlitz · 06/08/2015 10:26

Why would you risk a family member going to prison through bitterness? Yes it's wrong but she will probably get caught eventually.

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 10:26

ah I see - you're worried she'll know it was you when she's found out and then never speak to you again.

hmm tricky one - if you speak to her about this she'll say probably it's none of your business what she does or she knows what she's doing is wrong.

she certainly won't get a job.

I'm not sure... i'd probably shop her and just say 'it was a matter of time' if it comes up and she accuses you of shopping her.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 10:27

or do you dislike her because she's 'getting away with it' and has more disposable income than you?

To be fair, that's a pretty good reason not to like someone.

Viviennemary · 06/08/2015 10:30

That is sheer greed. I'd report her tbh. This is why there is this anger over benefits. Benefits are not meant to give people an income of £5K a month. Or shouldn't be.

SuperFlyHigh · 06/08/2015 10:30

Goodbye - but that's more envy.

If OP disliked this family member before now - never got on... I could see the reason but what if it was one of OP's best mates who maybe is doing the same but not as big a scam... would she shop her? I only say this as I knew someone in this situation for a while and she was such a good friend and eventually got off benefits completely (and told everyone she was coming off them).

DJThreeDog · 06/08/2015 10:37

I wouldn't be able to hide my disgust. She is the reason honest, hard working people on benefits are made to feel like scum in the press, and why benefits for those that really need it are cut again and again.

I would probably report. She is stealing, plain and simple. From the government or council maybe, but also from those families really in need, the ones that are going to food banks, or whose mum goes without breakfast every day so her kids have enough to eat.

And yes, for all you people who believe keeping your nose out and not being a grass are more important - I have the same level of anger towards MPs and big corporations.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 10:37

I'm not sure the distinction is important, but I would be hard-pressed to "like" someone who is consistently, unambiguously committing benefit fraud. I certainly wouldn't be able to spend time with her.

DJThreeDog · 06/08/2015 10:41

There's a massive difference between claiming benefits as a single parent when you're not for a bit to get yourself on a more even keel, than claiming purely because you don't want to work but want to buy loads of crap clothes every month!

OPs relative is not a child - she doesn't need to dislike the behaviour but not the person - she can dislike the person as a result of the behaviour because the relative is an adult and should fucking know better!

And you know what, like or dislike shouldn't come into it. This person openly commits fraud, admits to it on a large basis - this isn't a malicious report.

Starbrite00 · 06/08/2015 10:47

Si her partner is on 40k a year + and she os claiming all benefits.
Why are you even asking, of course you should report her.
Some families cant even afford food and her behaviour is disgusting.

Branleuse · 06/08/2015 10:52

Who do you think will ever catch you when you fall. Who will be there picking up the pieces if the shit ever hits the fan for you? Whos shoulders will you cry on when theres nothing else left

It will be your friends and family. Not the state. Not the DWP.

Peoples priorities in life have got so bloody skewed

mirren3 · 06/08/2015 10:58

Report her, I do not understand why people who do this flaunt it. Who does she and all the people saying do not report think funds her lifestyle. As a taxpayer I would not hesitate to report anyone I knew was doing it.

LeafyLafae · 06/08/2015 10:59

OP - are you me?
I'm in a similar situation (except person in question is claiming disability suffering from lazyitis ) & it pisses me off! I've not reported her as she is family, it's hard, & I know it'll be her parents who will suffer the fallout.
Perhaps if you tell her she needs to inform the relevant departments of her circumstances so she doesn't get done for fraud - put it to her: did she realise she could be sent to jail?
It might just make her think...

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 11:00

Who do you think will ever catch you when you fall. Who will be there picking up the pieces if the shit ever hits the fan for you? Whos shoulders will you cry on when theres nothing else left

It will be your friends and family. Not the state. Not the DWP.

Unless your family will give you the cash you need to tide you over, the DWP services are essential. Its continuing solvency is ideal.

FurtherSupport · 06/08/2015 11:04

There are 1000s of people far more dependant on DWP than they are on friends and family Branleuse.

murderedbystress · 06/08/2015 11:08

I would definitely report her!

I pay taxes for the NEEDY - 5K a month is NOT needy! She receives MORE money than what my family do and we are university educated and in porfessional career roles!!

No wonder our welfare bill is through the roof. This is a person who can work, refuses to work because she is greedy and insists everyone else 'keep' her and provide her with the luxuries a lot of people have to work for to get!

Angry Angry Angry

Marynary · 06/08/2015 11:28

I would just talk to her and tell her to stop claiming because she may get reported. Perhaps suggest that people that she hasn't told may be suspicious and may report her anyway (this happens). If she is fraudulently claiming £1,500 each month and this goes on for many years she may end up with a prison sentence.

Garlick · 06/08/2015 11:30

I'm in a similar situation (except person in question is claiming disability suffering from lazyitis )

This doesn't sound similar at all. It sounds like you've diagnosed somebody, using your extensive medical knowledge. Have you any idea what a nightmare it is to get "disability" (ESA)? You don't just send in a doctor's note. The process is designed to find you fit for work. She must be quite unwell.

OP is 100% sure her sister's scamming.

MythicalKings · 06/08/2015 11:33

Report her, let the authorities decide.

Anniesaunt · 06/08/2015 11:42

YANBU, report. People like her are part of what makes others think it's ok to call people genuinely claiming benefits lazy scum.