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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you would be disappointed with this present

154 replies

Littleen · 05/08/2015 11:41

It's my brother's 30th soon, and I've got him a candle for present. It's a nice, biiig candle from M&S, cost £12 and looks quite cool :) I am not great with presents however, and worry it might seem a bit random / not quite enough to form an actual gift. Should I add more, or would this be suitable for someone's 30th?

OP posts:
squoosh · 05/08/2015 14:41

Actually I think I did buy it from that website! They offer personalised versions too.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 05/08/2015 14:49

I cant remember the last time any of my siblings got me a birthday present! we don't do birthdays big in our family, the fact it was a 30th in the OPs case would make it no more significant than turning 29 or 32 in our family, other than you migt get a card with a number on it. It certainly would not mean a big impressive gift. Might make more fuss over my DCs 'big' birthdays,but not for my or DHs siblings.

I got SIL a nice big candle in a jar for her birthday this year, but I know she likes them, I would not have bought her DH one for him/their house though, I'd never buy a bloke a candle. Unless I knew a bloke who really really liked candles.

FanOfHermione · 05/08/2015 14:52

But I like candles!!

Surely it depends on whether the recipient of the gift like candles?

scarlets · 05/08/2015 14:56

An M&S candle is fine for a work Secret Santa, or to thank a neighbour for babysitting, but not for a family "big" birthday IMO.

HolgerDanske · 05/08/2015 14:57

I love candles too. Comes with the Scandinavian heritage Smile

I do believe most people have asked whether the intended recipient likes candles as obviously if he does then it's a great starting point. Otherwise it is rather an odd choice for a man's gift, IMO.

lordStrange · 05/08/2015 15:04

If its this one then I would be pleased I think - dog candle

squoosh · 05/08/2015 15:19

Is the dog the candle or the candle holder? I'd feel a bit sad watching sausage dog melt.

WoonerismSpit · 05/08/2015 15:43

Thank you so much squoosh! I've just had a look at that site and it's brilliant. My budget doesn't stretch to a personalised one so I'm just perusing the $34 ones. Little Women has just ruined what would otherwise have been the perfect bookshelf

squoosh · 05/08/2015 15:49

Ugh, those goodie-goodie girls plus mega bitch Amy March wouldn't make it to my bookshelf either! Wink

Branleuse · 05/08/2015 15:50

it probably wont be the best present of his life, but its fine

ShatnersBassoon · 05/08/2015 15:54

I'd rather have the cash.

mynewpassion · 05/08/2015 15:54

Spend a bit more and give him his favorite beer.

stripytees · 05/08/2015 15:59

Candles as presents say to me "I couldn't be bothered to consider what you would actually like".

Seems too impersonal especially for a family member. I would feel the same if the recipient was a woman.

pasturesgreen · 05/08/2015 16:34

It's my 30th in two months and, quite frankly, I'd be disappointed to receive a candle from my sister. I'd obviously never say as much, but still...a candle is unimaginative and I'd expect better from a sibling for a meaningful birthday.

Maybe, at a stretch, a posh candle with beautiful wrapping from some place like Jo Malone or similar, although a candle remain something I wouldn't gift - and wouldn't particularly like to receive - for a significant birthday.

Of course it's different if your brother is a particular fan of candles! Anyway, just add a bottle of nice bubbles as numerous PPs have suggested, and you should be fine!

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 05/08/2015 16:36

It's a dinner-party hostess gift.

DeeWe · 05/08/2015 16:52

If I got that then it would luv in the cupboard for a couple of years before being given to a tombola/ charity shop. Sorry.

Sometimesjustonesecond · 06/08/2015 15:19

I bought my brother some anti ageing cream Grin

I find it really hard to buy gifts. My best present for my brother was a crystal skull filled with vodka.

If you are stuck then I think something nice to drink is a better bet than a candle tbh.

slippermaiden · 06/08/2015 15:25

I do t think my husband would have been impressed with that for any birthday! What about some sports related item? Or beer related? Or music related?

thatsn0tmyname · 06/08/2015 15:27

I've never met a man who got excited about a candle .

StampyMum · 06/08/2015 15:29

My DH and DB would quite like a candle, I suppose, but it sounds like more the kind of thing you'd get for a Secret Santa present than for a sibling's big birthday. If you're really broke, maybe you could make a cake or something to go with it.

Helspopje · 06/08/2015 15:32

I got paperclips for my 40th. Quite liked them as they were shaped like one of my hobbies. Thoughtful gifts are always gratefully recieved.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2015 15:36

"I do t think my husband would have been impressed with that for any birthday! What about some sports related item? Or beer related? Or music related?"

Now that is sexist!

firesidechat · 06/08/2015 15:40

I wouldn't be disappointed, but then I'm not a 30 year old man.

I love candles and I even bought my husband one that he particularly liked the smell of, but it was part of a selection of presents and I would never buy one for any other man I know.

BackforGood · 06/08/2015 15:48

Well, YABabitU to ask, then not come back and answer everyone's questions for 6 pages.

Personally I think a candle is a pretty poor present - I'd look like this --> Hmm if you gave me a candle for a present, 'big' birthday or not. It would go straight in the box I keep of things I really don't want but might come in handy when I need to provide a raffle / tombola prize.

You surely know your brother though? Would he like it is the question, not if we would. Generally speaking, it's a pretty strange present to get for someone you know so well. The amount spent is immaterial.

Apricota · 06/08/2015 16:21

Not a candle. Surely thTs what you would like, not a 30 year old man for a big birthday