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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask if you would be disappointed with this present

154 replies

Littleen · 05/08/2015 11:41

It's my brother's 30th soon, and I've got him a candle for present. It's a nice, biiig candle from M&S, cost £12 and looks quite cool :) I am not great with presents however, and worry it might seem a bit random / not quite enough to form an actual gift. Should I add more, or would this be suitable for someone's 30th?

OP posts:
Eva50 · 05/08/2015 11:52

It depends on your brothers circumstances really and whether he likes candles. I would be a bit disappointed with a candle because I'm not really a candle kind of person and already have a box full of unused or part used ones. I like to be given a voucher because we rarely have spare money and it's great to be able to choose something I really want and couldn't otherwise have. My friends who think vouchers are a boring gift are the ones who can just go out and buy something if they want it.

I don't think you have to spend a lot of money on a gift. £12 is fine. It's the thought that counts and if a lot of thought went into choosing it then it should be well received.

MaxPepsi · 05/08/2015 11:53

Errol if your DH likes a nice candle, I would suggest getting partylite ones.

They comes in various sizes and smells and because they have cotton wicks they do not leave sooty marks.

Summerisle1 · 05/08/2015 11:55

Unless he is known to love candles then I'd assume this was a quite random gift bought rather indifferently. I know that neither my DH nor my sons (34 & 32) would know quite what to do with a candle other than thank the giver politely to their face and privately do a WTF? face. You only have to look at the number of 'nice big candles' that fetch up donated to jumble sales or charity shops to realise that actually, in the main, people. aren't overly bothered about them!

I'd be much more inclined to get your DB a voucher for a shop you know he likes or for a hobby he has.

Bladdered4567 · 05/08/2015 11:55

That's a really crap present, OP. I love candles but I'd be pretty gutted if someone just bought me a cheap candle for my 30th (assuming you and him are seeing it as a 'big' birthday).

What's your budget? For me, if you only had £15 to spend, I'd appreciate a bottle of £5 wine, a £4 box of Milk Tray, a £3 Lush bath bomb and a random selection of Home Bargains crap for £3 (e.g. unusual crisps, wardrobe smellies, laundry balls etc).

For a bloke for £15 I'd do much the same except substitute the bath bomb for a random fiction book.

SaucyJack · 05/08/2015 11:56

Depends if he likes candles or not, I s'pose.

I wouldn't get one for my bruv and he's actual quite metrosexual in his own hairy-arsed way.

TheWitTank · 05/08/2015 11:57

It really depends -do you usually buy each other gifts for birthdays? Do you usually spend a certain amount on each other? Can you afford a bigger gift? Are you close? It's always really hard to comment on other people's gift choices without knowing the recipient/relationship. Personally, I would spend more on my sister and wouldn't think it adequate. I would like a cool big candle though!!

Dynomite · 05/08/2015 11:57

not great for a 30th...a bit impersonal and not great for a guy. And everyone seems to gift candles these days.

laffymeal · 05/08/2015 11:57

I got some candles for my 30th birthday, I'm 50 next week and I still haven't used them. It's not a good gift, it really isn't.

Bladdered4567 · 05/08/2015 11:58

If your budget is more than £15 then what about more expensive wine? Or a bottle of expensive spirits (whiskey or vodka)? What about a voucher for a shop he likes? What about a 'gift box' full of random stuff (possibly including a candle if you like) totally whatever your budget is.

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2015 12:00

If someone got me that for my 30th I'd be Confused and a bit Hmm

Not sure what your circumstances are either but unless you're really skint a £12 M&S candle looks a bit tight as well, sorry.

Janeymoo50 · 05/08/2015 12:02

If he likes candles yes, if not does he like real ale or anything like that? You can get some decent gift boxes of real ales (my brother at 30 would have loved it!).

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/08/2015 12:03

Generally I think most people try and get close family something that is (a) personal and (b) commemorative of the occasion for that type of birthday. I don't mean a big, naff 30th picture frame but something he could keep

If money is tight, do you have DC who could paint a picture that you could frame even?

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2015 12:04

Why not just get him a bottle of champagne if you're stuck? It's hard to argue with champagne and you can get a nice non-vintage one for a reasonable price.

BarbarianMum · 05/08/2015 12:05

£12 would be about right in our family - we tend to do token gifts for grown ups. I've also never considered 30 a particularly significant birthday, thinking about it we really only do 18th, 50th and 80th.

BeyondTheWall · 05/08/2015 12:05

candle?

Annapurnacircuit · 05/08/2015 12:09

Presents are so personal though. I'd hate to get champagne for my birthday as I don't like it but I do love candles!

That said I'm not a 30 year old bloke and it is a bit of an unusual present unless he really is into candles which doesn't seem overly likely...

It's so subjective, yes real ale or wine would be nice but only if the recipient is a drinker and even then not a lot of thought has gone into it, not more than a candle I would have said.

Does he have any hobbies or passions? I would prefer a voucher for my favourite sports retailer like Sweaty Betty if it were me but maybe he hates sport! So dependent on the recipient so don't think any of us can really answer your question op.

Bubblesinthesummer · 05/08/2015 12:09

Sorry OP but not a great 30th present unless you DB loves candles

fastdaytears · 05/08/2015 12:10

It's hard to imagine it going down really well but you know your brother. I always think something you can keep is good for a big birthday. Candles are a bit melty.

PrivatePike · 05/08/2015 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMcColl · 05/08/2015 12:11

I love candles. Just putting it out there. My DH likes them too. There are many worse presents I can think of. But obvs, in this case, it depends on whether the OP's brother likes them.

Baddz · 05/08/2015 12:12

Well its not so much the price (any gift should be received with thanks) but a candle for a man for a landmark b day?
Hmm....I wouldn't personally.
Maybe a voucher if you find present buying difficult?
I have one or two family members who are hard to buy for (the types who have everything) and I use vouchers a lot!

Iwasbornin1993 · 05/08/2015 12:13

My DB would look at me like this ConfusedHmm if I bought him a candle for any birthday! My SIL on the other hand would love me to buy DB a nice candle!

I suppose it all depends on whether he likes candles?!

lornathewizzard · 05/08/2015 12:15

My sister would love that Beyond!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/08/2015 12:15

No men I know would like a candle as a significant birthday present. Sorry OP, don't give it to him.

SoupDragon · 05/08/2015 12:17

I don't think that is the right give for a man's 30th birthday, no. Of course, I don't know your brother though - mine wouldn't have liked it.