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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm an entitled spoilt bitch

227 replies

OnlyWantsOne · 30/07/2015 17:27

Last week we got married

Today is my birthday. My husband bought (and wrapped) for me, a bag of morisons popcorn.

OP posts:
SmillasSenseOfSnow · 30/07/2015 18:26

He thinks if a woman cries she is just trying to emotional manipulate him.
Any chance you married him for some financial protection after years of him refusing to offer you it? How long do you have to stay married for things purchased previously to be considered marital assets, incidentally?

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 30/07/2015 18:26

^ I hope my post isn't misinterpreted. I'm suggesting that you need to LTB but I wouldn't want you to lose out big time because of any prior shit behaviour on his part.

Ohfourfoxache · 30/07/2015 18:28

Oh Only Sad

Happy birthday sweetheart Thanks

Where are you lovely? It sounds like you need some RL support. Are you close to your sister?

Dowser · 30/07/2015 18:29

I like all the fuss you can throw at me. I want to be treated like the princess I know I am.

( I can feel a pea under 20 mattresses!)

And then I want to shout from the rooftops

" hey look at me everyone. I've made it this far!"

So sorry Op. that really sucks.

If you are still with him next year make sure he's been properly trained.

Congrats on your marriage .

Penfold007 · 30/07/2015 18:29

OP I really confused, you broke a tooth nearly four months ago, go to the dentist and get it fixed.

You knew he how he,was about birthday gifts etc so why did you get married if it bothers you so much?

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 30/07/2015 18:29

He is a solicitor.

OP posts:
ememem84 · 30/07/2015 18:31

Dh didn't make a fuss on my birthday last year. We took his mum to a local cafe for lunch. No present. No card.

I thought we might be having a surprise party. As we had a party to go to on my birthday. But it was for another friend. Sad

It was the lack of card that upset me the most. That and I made the most fuss over him for his birthday.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 30/07/2015 18:31

I'm not fussed about my birthday, but if my OH bought me a bag of popcorn then I'd be really hurt by it. It gives you a measure of how you feature on his brain.

Does he do the empty promises a lot?

RebootYourEngine · 30/07/2015 18:32

Where in the country are you OP? I am child free for the night if you want to go for a birthday drink.Wine

CatMilkMan · 30/07/2015 18:32

So birthday shopping wasn't for you to pick what you wanted and buy it? That's what I would have expected if I was him to be honest.
You cried on the way home so he went out and got something last minute which was popcorn.
Do you think you have a problem communicating? From this thread I have no clue what you wanted or expected all I know is he didn't buy you things you want so you cried yesterday and then lost your shit today and shouted at him telling him it was a mistake to marry him.

Georgiedawes · 30/07/2015 18:32

WTF at the popcorn.

What did he give you at Christmas?

I mean like isn't about presents but really.

Georgiedawes · 30/07/2015 18:33

Life

Sagethyme · 30/07/2015 18:33

On the other hand at least he has remebered, last year my DH forgot it was my birthday...the day past and the next day i mumbled into my coffee about my age, he asked why i had added on another year, and then looked mortified!

Just be honest OP with him, and why not get a takeaway tonight and do something fab at the weekend?
Oh and Happy Birthday Flowers Wine and Cake

BanditoShipman · 30/07/2015 18:35

Some weird responses here op. A bag of popcorn is twatty. And telling you 'wife presents are better than girlfriend presents' thereby giving you an expectation of something thoughtful (not necessarily expensive obviously just something he's thought about) is quite cruel.

Happy birthday, enjoy the kindle time and think about where you want to be and how you want to feel in a year's time

ememem84 · 30/07/2015 18:35

I think I'd quite like popcorn as a present. But I'd need my body weight in it for it to be funny.

We bought my sister accidentally because I misread the weight 14 kilos of skittles once. She loves skittles.

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 30/07/2015 18:37

Some weird responses here op.

Agreed. There's been at least a couple of 'my DH did/failed to do THIS' responses. Someone else's DH being shit doesn't make the OP's DH any better.

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 30/07/2015 18:38

Christmas. Uh, a jelly cat bunny (he got one for our kids each too)

I think that was it.

I bought him a really lovely dressing gown and a kindle, which I pre loaded with the books I knew he wanted to read. Plus a stocking of toiletries and things he never buys himself like new socks and cufflinks etc.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 30/07/2015 18:40

Most men are shit at the birthday stuff. Hints, tips, hoping to be surprised/swept off feet ... It all falls on deaf ears. Unromantic as it sounds, I have to spell it out. Detailed gift list well in advance, say how i want to celebrate, book babysitter myself. Believe me, had some disappointing birthdays (a gift of saucepans, an evening spent at pub with his bore - a - minute brother etc)and he'd be genuinely mystified or annoyed if I stopped or sulked.
Is mildly annoying I organise my own birthday as well as his, and the kids, but it's better this way. Happy birthday OP. Next birthday will be better.

Georgiedawes · 30/07/2015 18:41

I'll admit that I would probably have had a massive strop too.

It's not entitled, it's not like you're complaining he didn't get you a new car, but a bag of popcorn? Not even butterkist too.

Lizzylou · 30/07/2015 18:41

Oh, that is shockingly shit!
Can I ask why you married him? Do you love him?
How is he with present buying for other people? Is he always that crap?
What is he like on a day to day basis? Does he treat you well normally?

Pagwatch · 30/07/2015 18:41

Oh goodness, I expect there are weird responses because the situation is (to me at least) odd.

When someone posts that they got married last week I think it's unsurprising that people try to find some reason how a couple could be so spectacularly out of synch and look for a benign explanation.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 30/07/2015 18:41

OP maybe you should just stop being so thoughful if he cant afford you the same courtesy.

mammuzzamia · 30/07/2015 18:42

It seems quite thoughtless, wrapped popcorn as an afterthought. I'm not keen on birthdays, but I can't imagine my reaction to a present like that. Have a direct chat to him, tell him what you've told us, more or less, and how it made you feel. Be quite to the point, no beating around the bush.

What do you usually do for his birthday? Would he be happy with a similar gift?

Pagwatch · 30/07/2015 18:43

Honey lulu

I don't think there are nearly as many men who are just shit at birthdays and presents as there are women who are prepared to put up with it and then model that for their children.

mammuzzamia · 30/07/2015 18:43

Ah, you bought him thoughtful gifts