I'm an entitled spoilt bitch

[OnlyWantsOne]

Last week we got married

Today is my birthday. My husband bought (and wrapped) for me, a bag of morisons popcorn.

[SpringBreaker]

He booked a baby sitter, surely that meant as it was your birthday you got to decided where to go, but because he hadn't thought of anything, You then cancelled it... I think you may be making this more difficult that it has to be ..

[stevienickstophat]

I hear you, OP.

His totally rubbish non-present has ruined your day and now you don't feel like celebrating.

You wanted to be treated and cherished and made a fuss of. Perfectly understandable.

Sorry you had a bad day. Well done for letting him know how you feel though. Hopefully he'll do better next year

[Pagwatch]

Honestly - I'm fucking huge on birthdays. I hate lack of thought and I hate the women who say 'oh men are a bit rubbish at that stuff'
But I think you are setting the whole thing up as a massive rest and expecting him to fail.
I don't see why that helps anyone.

[dotdotdotmustdash]

It could have been much worse. He might have given you Asda popcorn.

[SpringBreaker]

It's midweek, you don't need reservations, you decide what you want to eat and then just go out.. Don't you?

[Pagwatch]

X -post

Mine should say 'test' not rest.

Yes it's rubbish.
I can understand your disappointment.
Does he understand why you are pissed off.

[StrawberryMojito]

Were you supposed to be present shopping? Did you point out anything you like and give him opportunity to get it?

Normally I'm sympathetic to posters in this situation but you do sound like you've been sending mixed messages.

It's my birthday in a couple of weeks, I've told Dh what id like to do so he's booked it. Being specific helps.

[Nydj]

Oh OP, Happy Birthday! I hope the day gets better but I think you were well within your rights to be really upset at the apparent lack of thought and effort on your dh's part. and .

[SacredHeart]

To be fair, from the way you describing it it sounds like you got exactly what you wanted - a reason to complain and be upset.

He took you shopping and you didn't choose anything. Sounds like you are quite picky so no wonder he just booked a sitter to ask what you want to do (could he have picked a right place). And then got a little something to unwrap and you got the hump.

[stepsharp]

It's my birthday today too, OP, and I dread it every year. It's the expectation from others that you should celebrate it in the way they see fit.

My DH is useless, but still better than yours. Roll on tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[AuntyMag10]

Yanbu, happy birthday !
He sounds like an idiot, a cheap one at that! A bag of popcorn? He's gone to all the effort of marrying you yet can't think of one thing you would like.

[thecatfromjapan]

I understand. My husband is like this. It's horrible.

You're not entitled, or spoilt, or a bitch.

It's fine being all about small presents, or no presents, if that's what the recipient is into. If not - then it's just mean, thoughtless, or even just a slap in the face.

I hope he finally 'gets' it and that you have a better birthday next year.

For what it's worth, I'm finally working up to divorcing my husband. The whole no present/crap present thing took place in a context of general lack of care for me. It took therapy for me to realise it was legitimate to want more from a life-partner.

It IS OK to want someone to cherish you, and to cherish you actively.

Good luck, sweetie.

[WorraLiberty]

You cried yesterday on the way back from birthday shopping and spent the whole day today 'properly losing your shit and in tears'??

It sounds like the problem is waaay deeper than just your birthday.

[OnlyWantsOne]

We went shopping with 3 children because he insisted that we went as he wanted to get me some thing. Wouldn't tell me what etc. But he didn't get any thing and had plenty of opportunities to do so.

I have a very specific hobby -which he is well aware of plus he knows that I use benefit makeup and love their stuff and need new primer - which I physically pointed out to him while out.

I haven't built it up for a fail or for him to fail, he's done that.
Re tonight, he text the girl who baby sits for us, I suggested going to a restaurant that we both like, but I've cancelled as there's no point and I don't exactly feel like sitting there eating a meal with him

[WayneRooneysHair]

I agree with Worra, popcorn is a pretty crap present though so I don't blame you for being upset. Have you tried speaking to DH?

[SylvanianCaracal]

I think this not wanting a fuss thing is complex and a lot of us are a bit like that. Nothing hurts. The wrong thing hurts. The wrong attitude hurts – and in this case you are entirely right to feel hurt. But you have been taking a back seat and not saying what you really want.

However, he's also to blame because if he's confused he could have said so. "I know you've said you don't want a fuss but I'm not sure what that really means. What do you really want? Would you be upset if really got you nothing? Can you give me some hints?"

[SacredHeart]

Agree with worra.

Do you have feelings like this often? Otherwise I would be tempted to chalk it up to post bride come down. Everything was about you and how special and beautiful you are then bang wedding over - back to normal.

If that's the case you'll just have to ride it out and try not to get an annulment in the process.

[WineIsMyMainVice]

I'm telling you this to cheer you up - the first Christmas I was with my husband he bought me a hammer!!! I nearly hit him with it!

[KevinKnowsImMiserableNow]

Why did you marry him? (genuine question)

He's been an arsehole to you for years.

[ilovelamp82]

You don't need a babysitter, get yourself dolled up and go out for dinner and drinks with a friend. Wallowing at home won't make it better.

[OnlyWantsOne]

Ilovelamps that's made me cry. Because I'm lonely as hell. I haven't got any one to go out with

[TurnOverTheTv]

So you're going to sit in all night and sulk instead?

[usualmum]

Happpppy birthday!!

Sooo get this ..... until i decided to tackle it head on. I now show him exactly what i would like and give him options a month in advance. Works well and this year i went further and bought preferred gift and card, wrapped it up and gave him card to write and then stated my preferred place of dinner!! I spent the day with my friends too... goood luck..xx

[XiCi]

So he gave you a bag of popcorn, something he knows you can't even eat, for your birthday ? Either he is a complete fuckwit or deliberately trying to upset you . I can't think of anyone I know that would be so thoughtless on their partners birthday.

You are right to be so upset OP. Have you asked him straight out what on earth he was playing at?

[SpringBreaker]

To give you a different perspective, my ex would spend a fortune on my birthday and Xmas present, every other day of the year he was a nasty, often violent, abusive twat who thought buying a nice bit of jewellery made it all ok.