To think some things should be kept private (warning upsetting)

[ReginaBlitz]

I was scrolling down newsfeed on fb and a "friend" had shared a post it was a picture of a one day old baby that had passed away, with the headline please share to say Thankyou to the staff of such and such hospital, this was posted by the baby's dad. Obviously this is awful and the parents are going through hell, but I think this is so inappropriate. I think photos like this should be private not shared by randoms all over Facebook it's upsetting (yes I know it's upsetting having it happen) but why not use a photo of her alive I am actually in shock it's seriously got to me and can't imagine how someone this has happened to would feel seeing these pictures. So Aibu to think these photos should be kept private?

I saw this thread on Tuesday and decided not to join in - however having seen some of the negative comments and have decided I will.

Almost 6 years ago our baby boy died at 37 weeks. I created a memorial page and DH added the link on fb which included a little thumbnail image - it is the only time his photo appeared on fb. Not long after someone reported the link as 'offensive' and I was devastated all over again that someone could think my son's picture was offensive.

Because of his privacy settings we also had to assume that it was one of our 'friends' who had reported the post.

Babies are not offensive, and the OP's thread title makes me mad because [to think some things should be kept private] is exactly this country has one of the highest stillbirth and infant death rates in the western world. I for one will not keep my son private - I may not add his photos to fb but he has another page open to public viewing and his photos are on my fireplace for any visitors to see.

Page I totally agree, just because someone 'hides' something they find difficult it doesn't automatically mean they are insensitive or think it's distasteful.

Tbh I don't think anyone would blame you if you were 'running away from death' after your career. Of course you must put your own mental health first.

sorry DawnMumsnet

Mantelpiece, yes. Facebook , no.

Toffeeboffin, did you read the thread?

This may have already been mentioned up thread but for some bereaved parents, sharing a picture of our child with the world can sometimes be our way of saying 'I carried this beautiful baby, I gave birth, I am a parent even if my child is no longer physically here'.

I am the mother of a beautiful smiley daughter. I count my self lucky because I saw her smile and many bereaved parents don't have the chance to see their baby smile. I was not able to see her learn to roll over, crawl, hear her first word or take her first steps. I will never know what her future would have been because she only lived for 5 months. But it was a wonderful 5 months and I don't want her to be forgotten. I don't want her to be whispered about. I am a mummy to a beautiful girl who would be looking forward to her 20th year had she lived. Each year, on her birthday, Her picture is put on my Facebook. She is my first born, my only daughter and I love her.

So I'm sorry if seeing a picture of a child who has not had the chance of life is uncomfortable for you, but imagine how uncomfortable it is for us.

toffeeboffin - "Mantelpiece, yes. Facebook , no."

You don't get to decide that though, unless it's your own picture of your own baby.

Which I hope for your sake it never is.

Otherwise all you get to decide is whether to hide the photo from your newsfeed or not, but you don't get to tell grieving parents they can't post it in the first place.

I struggle to understand how anyone can have any other opinion than sadness at a life lost, a future lost and sadness for a family having to deal their grief

Many pictures I see move me they should do and they also remind me how grateful I am to not have to endure pain that others do