AIBU - my friend pinched a boy

[mamasilla]

My friends and I took all kids to a soft play area today. After 10 mins one of the kids came crying to us saying that another boy had punched him as he wanted to take a toy of him, he identified the kid to us so we decided to keep a closer eye. Five mins later the same happened to my girl. I went over to where the mom was with her friends and asked her to keep an eye as this boy was upsetting the rest. When the mom dismissed my point I pointed out that it would be very unpleasant if one of our kids punched him back. She said that her kid knows how to look after himself (the boy must have been 4 or 5 years old). When it happened the third time one of my friends reacted and pinched (not punched) the offending kid on the arm (his mum continued to be oblivious).
The debate then started, was she being unreasonable? I'd be interested in hearing your views!

Apart from it's breaking the law you sick person.

I am actually shocked that anyone would proudly explain how they bit their own child. Maybe I led a sheltered life. My LO bit me during feeding and at around 8 months went through a stage of scratching my chest when she was in the sling. Each time I gently moved her away and distracted her with something else. She stopped doing it.

At no point did I feel the need to physically assault my own baby, I just don't understand how that can be any parent's reaction.

Here we go. Shock horror. Get a grip! drama lamas.

crusts your view reminds me of over hearing a childminders trainee whilst on the park with their charges. She said when her ds ( I would say 18 months) bit her she hit him back. Needless to say I didn't send dd there as I was considering when I went back to work.

It's spiteful and cruel to bite, hit and pinch a child back especially when they are too Young to understand. They don't know you are experiencing pain. I just can't get my head around a adult inflicting pain on a child, even if it's in a controlled manner - infact I'd say that was worse.

Also hate it when mothers encourage small toddlers to 'hit back' when they have been struck by another toddler. Like some baby fight club. Grim

Not hypocritical at all.

I wouldn't lay my hands on a child because they had smacked my child.

If a grown woman touched them, she'd be lifted off her feet.

Crusts, what you are describing is ineffectual, lazy parenting, if you can't be arsed to parent properly, that's your (and your children's) lookout.

If the friend in the OP was correct, why did she do it in secret, the 4 year old was punching in public.

The parent was sat there, so why the need to target a child, in a sneaky way, I'll answer for you, because it's illegal abuse.

Id like to add that I have never used smacking as a form of punishment thank you all very much but I am a firm believer in "showing" a child something hurts. Makes total sense to me.

How is it reasonable in any shape or form?!

Apart from the obvious reasons why it's very unreasonable, it's also very hypocritical. You and your friend did't like the child's behaviour but in effect your friend (a grown adult?) repeated it?!

balls your sister should have informed the manager and let them deal with it. That would have been the sensible and reasonable thing to do.

your fucking child

You sound delightful. I bet your parenting skills are awsome ....

crusts BOTH are shit parenting, actually!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course its reasonable at a certain age and no, i dont mean babies either as one poster wrote.

Err, tequila I was replying to another post that told me she would fucking break my nose... did you read that before you posted?

""Id like to add that I have never used smacking as a form of punishment thank you all very much but I am a firm believer in "showing" a child something hurts. Makes total sense to me""

It's a shame that you didn't understand how to teach your child to develop empathy and why empathy is so vital in our interactions with others, likewise what stops a toddler building empathy, in a situation.

Also the setting of personal boundaries and respecting the personal boundaries of others.

That's what physical interventions stop and prevent and these are crucial life lessons.

Id like to add that I have never used smacking as a form of punishment thank you all very much but I am a firm believer in "showing" a child something hurts. Makes total sense to me

Yeah in the land of purple unicorns and elfs that fart glitter

Yes I did crusts.

fucking child is horrible

Crusts, having just tracked back through your posts elsewhere and seeing you are quite the goady I am most concerned that you mention working in childcare as you clearly are clueless about child protection laws. If this were RL I would already have referred you. You are a frightening creature.

No they arent Daisy. Showing a child what's wrong is neither abusive nor bad parenting. Everyone has become ridiculous in this and start screaming abuse. Its a very over-used word and detracts from the real issues.

Pinching a small child?
Really?
An adult capable of doing that has real boundary issues. That's crule and spiteful, regardless of what has gone on before

I'd be choosing some friends with more empathy and basic parenting skills

I am not at all "goady" im a realist, something that has been rather lost along the way Best.

Crusts, you're aim is to be provocative, as for "I work in childcare", do you fuck, at least not in the UK.

Well good luck telling that to SS when they enter your life at some point in the future. Sadly for you laws do govern what is acceptable. You might want to mug up on them so you can protect your children and those in your care.

I speak as I find, Im a realist and don't live in a pampered existence, nor am I one of the serially offended

your friend should have alerted the staff to a child who is effectively being unsupervised by the twit of a parent