AIBU - my friend pinched a boy

[mamasilla]

My friends and I took all kids to a soft play area today. After 10 mins one of the kids came crying to us saying that another boy had punched him as he wanted to take a toy of him, he identified the kid to us so we decided to keep a closer eye. Five mins later the same happened to my girl. I went over to where the mom was with her friends and asked her to keep an eye as this boy was upsetting the rest. When the mom dismissed my point I pointed out that it would be very unpleasant if one of our kids punched him back. She said that her kid knows how to look after himself (the boy must have been 4 or 5 years old). When it happened the third time one of my friends reacted and pinched (not punched) the offending kid on the arm (his mum continued to be oblivious).
The debate then started, was she being unreasonable? I'd be interested in hearing your views!

She pinched a child. Sorry but in my book that is assault. Yes not nice when kids get hit but children are children. Playing one minute fighting the next. If someone pinched my child I would press charges. You can get into trouble for putting s hand on your own child. Let alone someone else's.
Yes fully agree the mother should have chastised him but it most certainly is not for your friend to do.
And if she as an adult can't keep her hands to herself. How does she expect a child to. She aight to be ashamed of herself. And if I would have been there I would have had no qualms at all about giving eveidence, that was abusive.

my sister worked in a busy pub/resterant and was busy running up and down stairs with orders and plates. one kid (5 yr old) kept playing and sitting on the stairs while the parents drank away oblivious. he pulled at my sister's trousers at one point and she nearly fell. she went to the parents and told them that he was not to sit or play on the stairs. they ignored her. then he grabbed her leg again going down the stairs with a tray of drinks so she grabbed his arm hard and he started crying. she walked him over the table and said he hurt himself on the stairs ... i think she was justified.

was an adult unreasonable to hurt a small child on purpose?

hmmm, let me think about that for a moment...

of course she bloody was! how is it EVER ok to do that?

If she felt that strongly, she should have pinched the mother.

But that might have resulted in her getting a smack, eh?

Far better to hurt a child.

Funny but yes unreasonable

How is it funny?

Thing is also. The child is old enough to tell their parent about what has happened or if the parent see a mark on their DC. She's bound to want to know how it got there. And I am ceRtain these places must have cctv. Which could be used for evidence.

Well I would have done the same as your friend here.

The mother obviously didnt give a damn that her kid was being spiteful, in fact she said he can take care of himself.

Ive done the same to show a kid that its not a nice thing to do. You can tell them all you like but showing them works far better.

In fact id probably pinch her too to remind her how to parent.

You'd pinch a mother to remind her how to parent. Maybe I live on another planet but I would not call pinching effective parenting. On the planet I inhabit it would be classed as abuse.

oh stop being such a drama lama Ilive. My son bit me, I bit him back. My son slapped me I slapped him back and told him that its not nice to do that and explained why. Showing someone works.

It doesn't work better, it just reinforces the idea that its ok to physically injure people. They already know its not nice to experience, that's why they're doing it in the first place!

Well if thinking it is wrong to pinch a child or anybody for that matter makes me a drama lama, then I wear my title with pride.

No it doesnt because it shows them it hurts. If you repeat an action in a controlled manner then explain why they shouldnt do it then it stops multiple biting and pinching from them. Now this is common sense.

How do they know that then cheby unless they've experienced it. How do you know they've experienced it? Lots of children bit without knowing what it does.

bite

Hardly common sense with someone else's child though?
I'd have broken your fucking nose, if I saw you deliberately pinch my child.
Without waiting to hear what you were attempting to teach them.

You're friend is a coward and a bully, she didn't have the guts to confront an adult, so she physically hurt a child.

Any adult that can justify physically hurting a small child for behaving in a way that is either a normal development stage, or through a lack of discipline, is dangerous and unhinged.

You all sound vile adults.

And you can tell that from the actions of one member of the group without knowing how the debate went? Wow, your psychic skills must be second to none.

You would have broken my fucking nose then would you? What a bloody hypocritical statement that is.

You should have taken your fucking child away and made sure he didn't repeatedly pinch my child then!

Crustsaway are you for real? Are you aware biting a child is actually specifically listed as child abuse? You are breaking the law! What a terrible thing to do regardless of the reason. You make me sick.

The other mother was vile.
The pincher was vile.
The child needs boundaries and consequences to prevent them becoming vile.

It's impossible to say anything about anyone else.

Crusts, physical punishment stops the immediate action, but it doesn't work, in the sense of creating a mentally healthy adult.

Thankfully biting, or pinching your own child, is illegal in the UK, let alone anyone else's.

My son slapped me I slapped him back and told him that its not nice to do that and explained why. Showing someone works.

that's pretty shit parenting.

Oh for god sake, a little nip or a tap has never pschologically damaged a child to "show" them it hurts.

As usual everyone gets out of their pram on here

Here we go.

Its not shit parenting to "show" a child that things hurt, then explain why.

Its shit parenting to get on your lap top, phone, talk to your friends whilst little johnny is pinching his way through the soft play area.