AIBU - my friend pinched a boy

[mamasilla]

My friends and I took all kids to a soft play area today. After 10 mins one of the kids came crying to us saying that another boy had punched him as he wanted to take a toy of him, he identified the kid to us so we decided to keep a closer eye. Five mins later the same happened to my girl. I went over to where the mom was with her friends and asked her to keep an eye as this boy was upsetting the rest. When the mom dismissed my point I pointed out that it would be very unpleasant if one of our kids punched him back. She said that her kid knows how to look after himself (the boy must have been 4 or 5 years old). When it happened the third time one of my friends reacted and pinched (not punched) the offending kid on the arm (his mum continued to be oblivious).
The debate then started, was she being unreasonable? I'd be interested in hearing your views!

Oh you hurt other kids? Lets hurt you to teach you to not hurt others... errrrrrrr.......

As a social worker, it wouldn't be biting/pinching/hitting the child back that would worry me, it would be the complete lack of empathy. Inflicting purposeful pain on a child is not normal behaviour. So, no crusts, not the "nip" but the response from the parent/s.

no one allowed before I bite them of course. so no you arent invited silver

As a social worker you go to cases where things are in question. My normal life and actions arent so I wouldnt even pass your desk. Why on earth cant things just be put into context. Its strange. Does everything have to be exaggerated? but then I guess thats social media for you.

Culture has changed to the point of ridiculousness now. The serially offended are in abundance so are the politically correct. We have lost something so special here. Its called normality and a sense of humour. Being able to say you've smacked your child every now and again, being able to say that a serial biter needs to be bit back, to me is very damn normal.

Get real!

Jesus, it's nothing to do with social media. Can you really not understand that it's wrong to bite/pinch/hit/kick/whatever ANYONE. Including small children who don't yet understand that.

You manage the situation until they're old enough to be reasoned with. There's loads of ways to manage a small child's behaviour without resorting to pain. I find it utterly inexplicable that you are in childcare, yet unable to see that.

Can you not understand that showing a child what they have done in the actual sense isnt satans work?

Here we go. "Serially offended" and "politically correct"

Usually words thrown around by people who want carte blanche to be thoroughly offensive.
I can't imagine a normality where assaulting a child is regarded as acceptable.

Jesus christ what on earth is wrong with you!

To SHOW a child what they have just done before they can understand words is very normal. To show a child that biting is wrong with a nip back is also very normal. Get over yourselves.

Crusts, you could write for the Daily Mail talking like that. Just pipe down, you're defending an indefensible position. It's not political correctness to think it is not ok for a mother to violate her child by biting them, it's common sense, which you sadly do not possess. Everyone please can we all just leave it now. Don't provide her with a forum to air her warped and goady (yes goady despite the unconvincing protests) views.

They are not going to be damaged for life, they are not going to be scarred, they will mostly stop doing it to others.

"Don't bite people, because it's wrong and it hurts" I'm going to bite you now just so you know how it feels, even though I've just told you it's wrong and it hurts...AND I'm an adult.

Lesson learned?

Why on earth do you have to resort to that best? I have a normal valid point, you however have to use provocative awful statements to try to make me wrong.

Violate? Indefensible?

I find it sad that this is how things have become. Something very real has been lost.

If you want to private message me crust go for it, although I don't know why you wound have to do it 'privately'? It almost seems like you were 'offering me outside '...

I think you have shown yourself to be an ignorant, cowardly,bully that physically causes their dc pain. As they are culpable from day dot. Your words.

I can't believe you work in child care. I hope to God its lies. I feel really sorry for your kids as their mother has a very poor understanding of a parental role. You lead by example - not by inflicting pain. Maybe one day your kids will tell a teacher how you 'show them pain' and they can get the help they obviously will need.

You can show a small child what they have done by tone of voice, body and facial language, words that they can understand. You do not have to cause physical pain. How ignorant are you? If the child is too young to understand any of those signals and signs then they are too youg to be fucking biting back. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Carry on drinking your wine dear ...

I think she has had too much wine

Common sense in biting a child....

I'm with best, either you're quite spectacularly lacking in both empathy and sense, or you're on a wind up.

You manage biting and hitting by removing the child from the situation. You simply say 'NO', pick them up, and take them away from the hurt child. You don't bite them, it's ineffectual and unnecessary, as well as illegal. I do hope for your sakes that you've not made yourself easily identifiable on here, because if you were in my employ, you'd be getting your P45 at 9am tomorrow.

On the other hand, for the children in your care, I hope you are identifiable. You don't bite people, you don't hit, kick, or otherwise hurt people. In case you hadn't twigged, small children are people too.

Jesus. It's kind of scary to be reminded that there are people who think that behaviour like that is normal and OK.
What is worrying crusts is that you really do think you're right. You actually believe it's OK. Gives me the shivers.

Sadly Stratter, she's not. I fully intended to report her if I could find anything. Sadly another person who should not be working with children gets away with it.

I think you have shown yourself to be more than a coward to be honest Tequila. I would never dream of saying what you just have to another human being.

Its called hiding behind a screen.

I said that its ok to "show" a young child what they are doing wrong by repeating their action and explaining.

I have said that a repeat offender would benefit from the same when the mother neither cares nor acts on what their child does.

You however have become nasty in a politically correct manner.

Nasty, very nasty. You stoop so low.

I think crust is the sort of person that slaps puppies and rubs their nose in it when they've had a house training accident. Because, you know, that'll show em.

Something very real has been lost

Oh another one, hello sooty. Out in force this evening i see I think you are the sort of people that hide behind a computer screen and become very politically correct due to your real lives being somewhat out of control.

I may be wrong but I doubt it.

Nasty, very nasty. You stoop so low.

Pahahahahaha

Don't bother with that claptrap on me. I have a very good, open life, with two fantastic daughters and my partner. I don't hide behind anything, there's plenty of MNers who know exactly who I am, and are on my FB.

I've never bitten any of them. No need. I know how to parent properly. Neither have I bitten a MNer. They tend to be too tough.

How I get to this reasoning is that people who shout correct usually have to due to not really having it in real life, you dont actually understand normal circumstances nor reason therefore you play it all out on line.

I get it and feel for you.