'The only way we've sorted a sleep prob in this house is controlled crying' - fuck off!!

[Smataya]

I text friend who has two under two how hard it's been of late with Ds 11 months just not sleeping. I've explained before he is just not a sleeper and likes to be close at night, wakes a lot for milk and that I'm doing attachment parenting. She knows how against cc I am and I will not ever leave my child to cry. Ds has not slept for longer than an hour since he was 5 months which is starting to take its toll, but as I say, he's just not a sleeper and it's tough.

Why the f is she doing this pa bull shit about cc over text?? She's been like eerr have you tried sleep training to me before and I just don't want to hear it. Her two sleep through and I just find it smug- she's got lucky and now claiming its all down to cc. Am I justified in texting back to say ftfo to the far side of fuck?!?!

As for my 'Vile' post - if someone is posting and hurling abuse in their post then I think 'suck it up' comes to mind if they receive something back in response.

MrsD knows full well that CAMHs and any developmental psychologists or therapists would not advise anything other than therapeutic AP style parenting for a child who has experienced neglect for the first two months of it's life, so its hardly coming as a shock to her, don't worry!

OP I hope it's the sleep deprivation talking . Why would you even dream about telling your friend to fuck off after soliciting her advice ?Cc is a perfectly legitimate sleep training technique . I have never done it but if I needed to I would . Have you tried co sleeping ?

Oh my god. Why do parents always get called "smug" when they are just having a perceived better experience of parenting than you?

Personally I'd have gone bat shit crazy getting an hour of sleep at at time at night at 11 months, but CLEARLY OP you are massively happy with this situation.

By the way, CC or AP aren't the only options. Try and find some middle ground, an hour of sleep at a time at 11 months old is NOT normal and is a situation you have created. If you are fine with that, then suck it up and stop texting your friends saying how tough it is because people ALWAYS know better and WILL offer you advice.

This child is not suffering from neglect so you're throwing in these scenarios to be cunty and not in any way to help the OP.

OP, I didn't see where you apologised for your awful comparison of CC to child abuse but I'm glad you're starting to come round. I truly believe your baby will benefit from less rigidity and more sleep!

Glad you've got some sleep OP - sleep deprivation is shit.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/sleep-problems-in-children.aspx

Op have a look at this link it's a nhs page. The nhs suggest CC (leaving to cry for 5-10mins at a time) in babies over 6months.

Looks in a thesaurus for the definition of hypocritical wanker, sees picture of Lennon80.

Ducky. A balanced approach a smart way to go. Your post was very aggressive and dismissive.

I think we all know which kids are thriving in life and I suspect judging by the strong responses here that we all care about our kids enough to ensure they are healthy emotionally whatever way we put them to bed.

MrsD - before you blame the LA - the SW and contact workers were following the orders of the court. They fully recognise contact is damaging but birth parents have rights too you know.

Shall we all ignore Lennon since inundating us with studies that don't apply in this situation hasn't worked is now resorting to just being plain nasty?

Good Luck raising your child, you are clearly going to need it

Dear god, you're an arsehole.

Yabvu you know her parenting style, so why ask her!

OP I don't think for a minute you need a clinic. But you do need to give some thought to finding a way that you are happy with to teach your baby how to settle himself to sleep without needing you. It is a vital skill for him and he will be much much happier to have it. And so will you, I'm sure.

OP - I'd have a look at a couple of books and see if anything looks possible to you before seeing a sleep clinic. Maybe try 'no cry sleep solution' and 'good night sleep tight' - you can probably get them from the library.

We used Millpond with DCs 1 and 2 (by DC3 I knew enough to do it myself). They were fantastic and I couldn't recommend them enough. Like you my natural instinct was to AP - we had (partly) co-slept, I fed my babies to sleep, carried them in slings (still do) and am definitely a "leftie extended breastfeeder". But the lack of sleep had me on my knees. Like your baby, my DC1 woke constantly, at least hourly, all night. 3 weeks after we started the Millpond programme he was sleeping through, and napping in a routine (and in a cot).

I won't lie, there was some crying involved (a lot the first couple of nights) and you need to be prepared for this. I refused to do cc so we did a gradual retreat programme instead, but it was not without tears.

I do genuinely believe that the DCs were happier for being well rested babies, though. And I think that we made the right decision. But it was hard to stay with the programme initially, when it was such a change from what had gone before (and caused numerous arguments between DH - far less AP oriented than me - and I), so make sure that you are committed before you spend any money! Happy for you to PM me if you want more info.

Hurling about child abuse /neglect comments stops any reasonable debate . Theraputic parenting is a theroy actual kind gentle responsive responsible parenting is a practise which kind gentle responsive responsible parents do, letting them cry for a few minutes is not abusive or neglect a child who cries when they are upset is not damaging.

arsehole, wanker, wow keep it coming #Classy

ducky it's wasn't an excuse - it's a reason and damn good one.
And 17+ years ago CIO was a taught method.
Other than 2 nights where she cried she was a perfect baby.
Not such a perfect teenager but that was due to her dad being a twat not me neglecting her for 2 hours of her life at the age of 3 months.

And.. I didn't have kidS - just the one was enough thanks very much.
I just knew I couldn't love another being as much as I did her.

I never really considered myself selfish. She wanted for nothing. She was hugged endlessly by her parents, grand parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, etc.......
She did every activity under the sun.
She went to good schools.
She was and still is a bit spoilt, but I'm a single parent and I can do it.
She is now a lovely and loving 17 year old.
She holds down 2 jobs and works hard.
Yes I'm still the taxi service but she is learning to drive.
Yes I've bought her a car and I tax and insure it etc.... but she does fend for herself in many ways.
Pays for her own driving lessons and her own theory test. Paid for her own flights for her holiday she is currently on.
She is a well rounded individual and is my pride and joy.
I'm proud of her and I love her completely unconditionally and always will.
She loves me as well. We still have snuggles on the couch and movie nights with popcorn etc.....
I wouldn't change her for the world.
I wouldn't change anything I did with her as a youngster either.
It's made her who she is today and that is a lovely girl who myself and everyone who knows her are very proud of.

I'm sure I can be a monster at times as well though

You'll forgive me if I take no further notice of someone who uses hashtags on MN.

who let these people in here?