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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL birthday cake - I know I am being childish

414 replies

Happy36 · 20/07/2015 17:19

Today is MIL's birthday. We are on holiday with them so all staying in the same house. She spends the entire time in the kitchen watching television. Last night I went into the kitchen and said, I hope you don't mind, I am going to make a cake. It's her birthday today and I bake rarely; my husband who helped me with the cakes vakes even less frequently than I do. So it was pretty obvious we were making her birthday cake.

Then after she had gone to bed, we iced and decorated the cake and put it in the fridge, where everyone could see it.

This morning my husband spoke to his father and said that we would give MIL her gifts and sing Happy Birthday and cut the cake after lunch (when my husband's younger brother usually gets up). So I told the children and they were wonderfully stoical about waiting until 4pm to give their grandmother their cards and gifts, and to try the cake.

Now it's 6.15pm and there's no sign of any present-giving, (slightly irrelevant but I am angry so I'll add that brother-in-law has eaten multiple slices of brioche smothered in Nutella) and the kids know that they mustn't complain as it's not their birthday which is almost heartbreaking to watch. I asked my husband to have another word with his dad but he said it would be rude as it's his mum's day and we will do the singing, etc. when she says she wants to.

Now father in law has just shouted upstairs that we are going out in 20 minutes. I have no idea what is going on and my husband is taking a nap.

I know I am being very childish but I rwally needed to rant. Sorry.

OP posts:
ShelaghTurner · 20/07/2015 19:40

Wtf? What on earth was stopping the OP calling out "I'm cutting the cake in 5 mins. Anyone wanting Happy Birthsay sung to them needs to get their arse in here NOW"

Blueandwhitelover · 20/07/2015 19:42

I like coffee and walnut! (I am not the MIL)

OttiliaVonBCup · 20/07/2015 19:43

Won't anyone think of the children?

The poor little waifs sitting there staring at the cake and waiting in vain, forks on the ready?

OP?

kungfupannda · 20/07/2015 19:46

Where are you? If you're near me, I will come round, knock on the door and when it's opened, I will hurl myself on MIL like a ninja, while screaming 'go go go' and the DSs will run in, open the fridge, extract the cake and leg it.

Then you can go to report the cake burglary to the police come round to ours and eat it.

Sorted.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/07/2015 19:47

I like coffee and walnut but the cake is chocolate. I am sure of it.

Tequilashotfor1 · 20/07/2015 19:50

I'd go out!

What a waste of a day. I'd get the kids ready and say 'right come on we're going on a walk!' Then I'd come back right before bed time and not say a peep about it! Open up a bottle of wine - send the kids to bed and relax.

What she is doing is horribly controlling she needs to grow up!

piddlemakesmegiggle · 20/07/2015 19:50

Has to be Victoria Sponge, they sound like traditionalists so only that will suffice. Coffee and Walnut is only for them fancy types

This family sounds like my in laws, needless to say we don't speak anymore

Sizzlesandbella11 · 20/07/2015 19:51

Oh I have missed a thread like this. MN at its most vexing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/07/2015 19:52

Has to be Victoria Sponge, they sound like traditionalists so only that will suffice. That's why MIL is ignoring it. Because it's double stuffed, chocolate, chocolate chip. The OP really overreached her authority with the disgustingly naff cake. She should be very Blush

QueenofallIsee · 20/07/2015 19:53

Your in laws are a bunch of weirdos!

Scholes34 · 20/07/2015 19:54

I always bake when we're on holiday in a big group - can improvise and don't need scales. Makes me popular and gets me out of washing up.

Not sure baking makes anyone popular with the OP's MIL, though.

pissedglitter · 20/07/2015 19:54

When she says 'oh we will have that cake now' just say 'nah can't be arsed with that anymore'
then go to bed

Theycallmemellowjello · 20/07/2015 19:54

Eh? I am confused. Of course MIL hasn't done anything wrong - she can't ask for the cake and presents! Everyone else needs to get together and bring them out for her! How do you ever manage to give presents to anyone if you wait to be asked? Confused

piddlemakesmegiggle · 20/07/2015 19:54

Hang your head in shame OP. Did you think to check what cake MIL would like? Getting ideas above your station aren't you, with your fancy pants triple chocolate diabetes special cake?

OttiliaVonBCup · 20/07/2015 19:57

I love a good carrot cake.

Olddear · 20/07/2015 19:59

I'm more of a pavlova person myself.

Cloudhowe63 · 20/07/2015 19:59

Chocolate with buttons or smarties on top.

snowaccidentprone · 20/07/2015 20:00

I had some gorgeous pistachio cake earlier today. It was lush Grin

midnightvelvetPart2 · 20/07/2015 20:00

Why did nobody kick the lazy arse brother out of bed?! getting up at 1:30 indeed!

Doesn't sound like the best holiday in the world op Brew

CrispyFern · 20/07/2015 20:02

Good thread this.

strawberryshoes · 20/07/2015 20:03

I'd of been in there at 5 saying "so are we doing cake and presents or what, the kids are so excited for you" and just started it, sod hierarchy, someone can wake BIL!

And its fruit cake, surely

2rebecca · 20/07/2015 20:04

I was presuming with that and the nutella he's a much younger BIL age about 17. I'd have kicked him out of bed if I was my brother though. DH isn't coming out of this well. He seems to be going along with the madness not telling them all to get a grip.

2rebecca · 20/07/2015 20:05

if he was my brother

ArmfulOfRoses · 20/07/2015 20:07

What?!

lutra3d · 20/07/2015 20:07

I think op should pipe a nicely PA birthday message on the cake.