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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL birthday cake - I know I am being childish

414 replies

Happy36 · 20/07/2015 17:19

Today is MIL's birthday. We are on holiday with them so all staying in the same house. She spends the entire time in the kitchen watching television. Last night I went into the kitchen and said, I hope you don't mind, I am going to make a cake. It's her birthday today and I bake rarely; my husband who helped me with the cakes vakes even less frequently than I do. So it was pretty obvious we were making her birthday cake.

Then after she had gone to bed, we iced and decorated the cake and put it in the fridge, where everyone could see it.

This morning my husband spoke to his father and said that we would give MIL her gifts and sing Happy Birthday and cut the cake after lunch (when my husband's younger brother usually gets up). So I told the children and they were wonderfully stoical about waiting until 4pm to give their grandmother their cards and gifts, and to try the cake.

Now it's 6.15pm and there's no sign of any present-giving, (slightly irrelevant but I am angry so I'll add that brother-in-law has eaten multiple slices of brioche smothered in Nutella) and the kids know that they mustn't complain as it's not their birthday which is almost heartbreaking to watch. I asked my husband to have another word with his dad but he said it would be rude as it's his mum's day and we will do the singing, etc. when she says she wants to.

Now father in law has just shouted upstairs that we are going out in 20 minutes. I have no idea what is going on and my husband is taking a nap.

I know I am being very childish but I rwally needed to rant. Sorry.

OP posts:
UncertainSmile · 21/07/2015 01:06

There's too many unanswered questions, you can't go yet. Why does BIL sleep so much?

UncertainSmile · 21/07/2015 01:06

I agree with the kids. Chicken wings and ice cream would beat any cake.

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:07

He stays up all night playing computer games and goes to bed around 6am...when I wake up. He is on holidays from university.

OP posts:
NanaNina · 21/07/2015 01:13

Dear god - what an absolute waste of time - so you won't know when the cake gets eaten (or not) OP because you'll be at work, or maybe you could take a slice with you....you don't sound like you have much sense of humour to be honest. Well that's the end of Cakegate for me!!

Suefla62 · 21/07/2015 01:13

Take the cake to work with you!

TheBobbinIsWound · 21/07/2015 01:16

happy

Do you not think that... Not having the authority to present a cake and presents to your children's granny WITH your children is, well, you know, weird?

How is is normal that your children have been literally taunted by the old bag all day waiting for her to say "yes ok, now" to their giving her presents and love and sharing a moment.

She sounds unusual and cruel.

The 1.30 getting up? Less so- I have one of those brothers myself. I knew where that was going.

sunshinenanny · 21/07/2015 01:16

Uncertainsmile maybe BIL is a secret Vampire Shock

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:17

Haha, I am only going to meet with 2 colleagues who will be baffled if I bring a cake which has melted en route and is squished up against laptop, books, etc.

Not sure how I sounded humourless; I think the whole situation is pretty absurd (hence posting in the first place). No worries, anyway.

OP posts:
Mmbop · 21/07/2015 01:18

Take one slice of cake to work with you so everyone wakes up and opens the fridge and there's just one obvious, awkward slice out of the cake which makes your point for you.

TheBobbinIsWound · 21/07/2015 01:19

Also. Vicky sponge is sooooo last season.

Id like one of these please

I'll accept it as soon as the icings set Smile

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:20

Bobbin I love my in laws but in a house with 4 of them and on one of their birthdays I think it would have been rude to try to impose my idea of how a birthday should be celebrated. So I vented on here instead.

OP posts:
Mmbop · 21/07/2015 01:20

In fact, take a perfectly triangular slice out of the centre of the cake.

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:22

What a coincidence! Made gin and tonic cake at Easter for one of my brothers! I had never heard of it, but he dropped a big hint. Was easy to make and apparently tasted good.

OP posts:
TheBobbinIsWound · 21/07/2015 01:33

G&T cakes kick arse!

But she was literally taunting your children. All. Day.

Just because your children are impressively well behaved and did not kick up a fuss does not mean that their granny's behaviour and rudeness will not have been noticed or affected them. I would have said something to MIL because your children were becoming increasingly confused at the matriarch being a tease.

olympicsrock · 21/07/2015 01:34

Can' t believe that you are allowing your in laws to keep your kids up til 1 30 when mil has behaved so oddly just to keep the peace. In the nicest possible way perhaps grow a pair OP....

sunshinenanny · 21/07/2015 01:38

This has gone on so long and got so complicated I'm surprised someone hasn't offered to by the film rights. I can Just see the trailer now:

Is MIL afraid the Cake is poisoned?
Or is the old bag a just a control freak?
Are FIL and DH afraid of the old bag?
Will DIL go home without cutting the cake?
And what about BIL who sleeps all day? Creepy Or what Shock
Will the starving children get their Cake?
Be adventurous; Watch this film and risk dying of boredom Grin

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:39

It's the holidays so there's no reason why they shouldn't stay up until 1.30am for a special occasion. They had a lot of fun at the restaurant.

OP posts:
Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:40

sunshinenanny As long as I am hot in the movie, I don't care!!

OP posts:
Concordial · 21/07/2015 01:41

OP, I have this horrible, sinking feeling that by the time you get home from work tomorrow, the cake will have been eaten and the happy birthday will have been sung in your absence.

It sounds like it was a hell of a strained birthday. Is there always this carry on at family gatherings?

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/07/2015 01:44

You baked a cake and they know you won't be around tomorrow for it. Sad

sunshinenanny · 21/07/2015 01:47

Happy 36, I think you're a saint for not crowning the old bat (sorry dear MIL) with the cake. It sounds like a nightmare situation!

SorchaN · 21/07/2015 01:57

Yay, updates! Good to hear that everyone had a nice time at dinner (especially glad the kids enjoyed it). But I definitely think you should eat the cake NOW!

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 02:02

Concordial No, they're usually very normal and chilled out people. I think the heat has sent us all around the twist. That or old age.

OP posts:
WaggleBee · 21/07/2015 02:26

Still don't know what's going on. I do know I now really want cake.

MIL birthday cake - I know I am being childish
sleepywombat · 21/07/2015 05:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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