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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL birthday cake - I know I am being childish

414 replies

Happy36 · 20/07/2015 17:19

Today is MIL's birthday. We are on holiday with them so all staying in the same house. She spends the entire time in the kitchen watching television. Last night I went into the kitchen and said, I hope you don't mind, I am going to make a cake. It's her birthday today and I bake rarely; my husband who helped me with the cakes vakes even less frequently than I do. So it was pretty obvious we were making her birthday cake.

Then after she had gone to bed, we iced and decorated the cake and put it in the fridge, where everyone could see it.

This morning my husband spoke to his father and said that we would give MIL her gifts and sing Happy Birthday and cut the cake after lunch (when my husband's younger brother usually gets up). So I told the children and they were wonderfully stoical about waiting until 4pm to give their grandmother their cards and gifts, and to try the cake.

Now it's 6.15pm and there's no sign of any present-giving, (slightly irrelevant but I am angry so I'll add that brother-in-law has eaten multiple slices of brioche smothered in Nutella) and the kids know that they mustn't complain as it's not their birthday which is almost heartbreaking to watch. I asked my husband to have another word with his dad but he said it would be rude as it's his mum's day and we will do the singing, etc. when she says she wants to.

Now father in law has just shouted upstairs that we are going out in 20 minutes. I have no idea what is going on and my husband is taking a nap.

I know I am being very childish but I rwally needed to rant. Sorry.

OP posts:
CaptainSwan · 20/07/2015 23:33

I spent my birthday this year with my sister and my bfriend. Neither of them made/bought me a cake. Cake is something I 'do', for anyone/everyone. I sometimes make cakes for money and sometimes people just get a crappy uniced number but NEITHER of them managed it... I'll have your cake...

alovelyday · 20/07/2015 23:34

You haven't got that level of authority to get the birthday cake out, sing happy birthday and start cutting it up for everyone?

Crikey I've heard it all now. Shock

I'm clearly given too much responsibility at home.

Janethegirl · 20/07/2015 23:36

I'd eat the cake now and let dmil starve. Ignorant cow treating her grandchildren like that. Any chance you won't give her the birthday presents as it'll be a day too late!!

magicstar1 · 20/07/2015 23:39

Technically, if you haven't given the cake to MIL, then it's still your cake. Just cut it up for everyone Grin

Mmbop · 20/07/2015 23:41

I totally agree with magicstar - just play it totally deadpan when someone protests - Hmm 'what birthday cake? This is my snack. So are we going out or what?'

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 20/07/2015 23:42

Maybe this is the cake? Or suggested one for next year.

MIL birthday cake - I know I am being childish
LittleBearPad · 20/07/2015 23:50

Really want a slice of cake now. Send some over OP. Mil does r want it.

achieve15 · 20/07/2015 23:51

Janethegirl "I'd eat the cake now and let dmil starve. Ignorant cow treating her grandchildren like that. Any chance you won't give her the birthday presents as it'll be a day too late!!"

But I thought MIL was politely waiting for the cake and the presents...she can't barge into the kitchen and yell "gimme my cake, you bitches" really can she? Grin

although if I were MIL and I'd had to wait that long for a cake I knew was for me, I might do that Grin

I'm on a fast day tomorrow, maybe I won't be able to come back to this thread...! Night all.

hambo · 20/07/2015 23:54

7 mins until it's too late for birthday cake....

Janethegirl · 20/07/2015 23:55

If I were MIL I wouldn't wait politely all day for my birthday cake Grin

NanaNina · 21/07/2015 00:00

Simply cannot believe there are 11 pages of this cake business. Haven't read all the posts, got bored after first 2 pages.........I must be thick cus I still don't get it.....

Is it: DIL and DH make MIL b'day cake
Put it in fridge
Want to wait till BIL gets up at 4.00pm (does BIL have a medical condition that means he doesn't get up till 4.00 p.m.?)
BIL gets up and eats lots of Nutella on bread?
FIL says they are going out and cake not cut
Kids in bed by 8 so they can't have cake.

Where is the cake now? Oh no it's ok I don't think I can bear any more.

ChwatFeechers · 21/07/2015 00:08

Have you given everyone food poisoning with your offering, OP? Confused

SrAssumpta · 21/07/2015 00:20

OP, please put us out of our miseryCake

Babytalkobsession · 21/07/2015 00:24

This sounds like my MIL. She'd then rave about the fabulously generous cake & gifts for months / years... Bizarre controlling fuckwits. I will never be a nightmare MIL. I've made a pact with DH GrinCake

Iwasbornin1993 · 21/07/2015 00:29

I need to know what kind of cake it is!

80sMum · 21/07/2015 00:31

This thread is hilarious Grin but lacks a satisfactory conclusion.
Having read the whole thing is its entirety, I am determined to find out how this ends! Update please OP!
I think if it were me, I would have been sorely tempted to have used the cake in lieu of a 'custard pie' and would have squashed it satisfyingly into someone's face by now!

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 21/07/2015 00:43

I round push the cake into all the make relatives faces, put kids to bed, grab mil and go out and get rat faced with the birthday girl.

They all sound unhinged anyway.

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 00:44

Sorry for the late reply. Didn't take phone put to dinner. So we left at 7.30 and drove a long long way (about an hour) to a brewery, which turned out to be closed. Then BIL said he wanted to go to an Ametican grillhouse type restaurant about 45 more minutes' away so we did and MIL seemed to have a great time. We have just got home. She said in the driveway, we might have the cake tomorrow.

OP posts:
UncertainSmile · 21/07/2015 00:47

Did your BIL have another nap In the car?

UncertainSmile · 21/07/2015 00:48

'We've come on holiday by mistake'

ChwatFeechers · 21/07/2015 00:49

Just eat the fucking cake! Grin

Mmbop · 21/07/2015 00:50

ShockShockShock
'We might have the cake tomorrow'
There has to be more to this otherwise it's outright bizarre.

zzzzz · 21/07/2015 00:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadAngryGnome · 21/07/2015 00:59

Good god I would have been starving on that road trip.

Won't the cake be a bit stale tomorrow, being TWO DAYS OLD by that point? Your MIL has some serious skills in cake avoidance.

Happy36 · 21/07/2015 01:03

Tomorrow morning I have to drive home and go into work.

Sorry to have left everyone in such suspense. I didn't realise this would gather so many comments; I was just letting off steam really.

The cake is still uneaten, but the kids have had chicken wings and ice-cream so they have forgotten about Mamí's crappy homemade cake (ice-cream will always beat anything homemade, as far as they're concerned). Luckily I will be at work tomorrow when they wake up with the after effects of the ice-cream and 1.30am bedtime.

BIL is 24.

The cake is Victoria sponge. Had to go in fridge overnight as it's so hot here and no aircon in kitchen.

OP posts: