Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving the first date after one drink and getting take out to eat at home is rude

289 replies

unlucky4marie · 19/07/2015 20:04

Just had a first date, was OK, lasted half and hour or so. He bought the first sok I offered the second, he declined. Fair enough he's obviously not interested in even being a bit friendly and had nothing else on that day got got ready to leave. But just to add insult he got a piece of cake to take away and eat at home. He was planning to eat it as soon as he got home with another drink. That's just rude right? I wanted too burst into tears after this. I'm I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
firesidechat · 20/07/2015 15:31

NumanoidNancy. At last someone with the guts to say what we're all thinking.

Speak for yourself.

I would so love to hear what the man's view of this date was. Probably along the lines of "shame we didn't click, but at least I got cake".

HoldYerWhist · 20/07/2015 15:44

I've been OLD for a while and had been chatting to a woman for some time. We got on well and finally decided to meet for a coffee.

We met and I bought the drinks however, there was just no spark and pleasant as she was I knew it wouldn't go anywhere.

After thirty minutes or so we finished up and said our goodbyes.

Here's where it gets a bit awkward; after we said goodbye I decided to get a cake to take home so I queued for it and the woman stayed with me!!! Then walked with me for about five minutes though she was actually heading in the opposite direction to get home.

I felt a bit uncomfortable, especially since I had declined another coffee so that we could both go our separate ways.

AIBU to think it's a bit odd that she wouldn't leave me alone? Especially because we'd ended the date with no talk of another one?

I was clear but polite but she didn't seem to get it. The whole thing was a bit weird.

HoldYerWhist · 20/07/2015 15:44

He'd probably be told all about red flags and dodging bullets! ^

CatMilkMan · 20/07/2015 15:48

Wow, haven't read the thread yet but YABU.
What he does after the date isn't really any of your business.

firesidechat · 20/07/2015 15:50

You've nailed it HoldYerWhist. Smile

StarlingMurmuration · 20/07/2015 17:22

Wasn't Nancy just taking the mick? I'm pretty sure she's not serious.

Sallystyle · 20/07/2015 17:27

OP have you heard from him at all since?

I hope that in a few years you might come on and say you married the cake man Grin and he just kept the date short like it was meant to be and was not a snub at all.

StarlingMurmuration · 20/07/2015 17:38

I once went on a date with a guy I really liked... We got on really well, had a nice dinner and then on parting, he PATTED me on the shoulder and said, "We must do this again" before buggering off. Not even a kiss on the cheek or half-hug! I was mortified, because I'd thought things were going well. But then the next day he called and asked me out again and we ended up dating for another four months, so maybe he just wasn't sure how to end the date gracefully but did like you? I also had a guy basically run out of a date after nearly five hours of chatting, REALLY abruptly, then he called the next day, apologised for being awkward, and we went out a few more times too.

StarlingMurmuration · 20/07/2015 17:39

Shoulder-pat guy ended up being a real dickhead though, so maybe that wasn't the happy ending story I should have used.

Gabilan · 20/07/2015 18:44

"the first time ever that a quick drink has been just a quick drink."

Well, you're lucky, or you've been doing well so far.

I arranged to meet someone, he tried to change the time the day before. I couldn't make the revised time as I had other plans for the rest of the day so asked to postpone. We arranged to meet again, he cried off again due to feeling a bit under the weather. I got his text to say this when I had got to the venue. We tried for 3rd time lucky but again, he tried to change the time. I initially agreed to this but about an hour after our supposed meeting time he tried to change again. I said no, and that I didn't want to meet him at all.

His response? All my fault for not being understanding enough. Whereas I figured a first date shouldn't be that difficult.

TheOracleofSelphie · 20/07/2015 19:02

Chalk it down as a lucky escape.

firesidechat · 20/07/2015 19:06

Wasn't Nancy just taking the mick? I'm pretty sure she's not serious.

She may have been. I've started to lose track now of who thinks what.

I don't know if grubbybrat, whose post I quoted, was being funny or not. Sometimes nuance is very hard to read.

firesidechat · 20/07/2015 19:10

*NumanoidNancy's post was funny, but no idea if she was making fun of the posters who thought it was fine or those who thought he was being rude.

Gabilan · 20/07/2015 19:10

Going back a bit, I'd always assumed blousy = big girl's blouse = being a tit. It's not an insult I choose to use, due to the gender connotations.

That, and it's more fun calling someone a cock-wombling numpty-brained pissweasel.

firesidechat · 20/07/2015 19:18

My definition of big girl's blouse is a man being weak, ineffectual and a bit wimpy.

This is an interesting explanation.

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/big_girl%27s_blouse

HoldYerWhist · 20/07/2015 19:25

My definition of big girl's blouse is a man being weak, ineffectual and a bit wimpy.

Well, the poster basically said this is what she meant!

Kvetch15 · 20/07/2015 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gabilan · 20/07/2015 19:35

"Do you get insulted when random people on the Tube don't fall in love with you? "

It would be inconvenient if you couldn't use public transport without people falling at your feet. Also, it's the kind of thing that leads to James Blunt writing songs. Down with that kind of thing.

firesidechat · 20/07/2015 19:36

Well, the poster basically said this is what she meant!

Yes she did and very rude it was too.

I've quite enjoyed the discussion about BGB though. I have a soft spot for all the old sayings and like to keep them going whenever possible. It adds of bit of colour to the english language

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/07/2015 19:40

NumanoidNancy my favourite post in a long time Grin and so vivid.

Trills · 20/07/2015 22:30

Mitzy Jilly Cooper would describe as "blousy" a woman who used to be voluptuous/curvy/hourglass but has put on a bit of weight so now has a bit too much of everything.

ChilliAndMint · 20/07/2015 22:51

The date sounds like an odd ball , there are some decent bloke out there. I'm all for " binge dating" as mentioned by a previous poster.

It's a numbers game...sooner or later you'll meet your match.

ilovesooty · 20/07/2015 22:59

Yes, perhaps she'll meet someone as strange as she sounds. She seems to be the odd one rather than him.

ChilliAndMint · 20/07/2015 23:19

I don't think she's odd. I think she had expectations. He was downright rude and lacking social graces.

Lots of weird men ( and women )on OLD.

HoldYerWhist · 20/07/2015 23:27

Chilli you have both called this man abusive and diagnosed hin with SN based on the fact that he bought a cake.

OP called him a sociopath.

He's not the one coming across as odd, I don't think!