leaving the first date after one drink and getting take out to eat at home is rude

[unlucky4marie]

Just had a first date, was OK, lasted half and hour or so. He bought the first sok I offered the second, he declined. Fair enough he's obviously not interested in even being a bit friendly and had nothing else on that day got got ready to leave. But just to add insult he got a piece of cake to take away and eat at home. He was planning to eat it as soon as he got home with another drink. That's just rude right? I wanted too burst into tears after this. I'm I being too sensitive?

Oh ffs. The cake was his polite excuse so that you didn't leave the shop at the same time, should you be both walking in the same direction!

OP, when he went back up to purchase his cake, this was your social cue to say say goodbye and exit. He wasn't rude - you aren't picking up social cues.

Pan, that cake gave me a much-needed laugh!

This thread is awesome... I really hope it doesn't get deleted. It's like MN parody. The man is labeled abusive for absolutely zero reason, OP refuses to believe she's not BU, someone brings up SN!

Can someone please please reference Tory cuts? This could be epic. Or we could get the thread moved to relationships? Then we'd be treated to epic posts about how someone's abusive ex loved donuts and so they KNOW that cake = patriarchy!

I agree. This thread is solid gold genius. One of those odd little posts that should have been neatly dealt with in about 10 replies that somehow blossoms into true and delightful weirdness.

I keep returning to it for more giggles.

I am only sorry that people haven't picked up on big girl's blouse enough. it's so obviously gendered something or other.

My favourite post was the one where the cake was some obvious strategy to belittle the OP>

Er, yes, of course I was taking the mick. Possibly out of both sides...

I think the OP just had a case of slight ego-bruising and needed to get it off her chest. She'll bounce back. I don't think either of them are odd, these things happen. But anyone who perseveres with OLD needs to develop the hide of a rhino.
As an addendum, I occasionally read the Stella Grey Mid-life ex wife column in the Guardian, it helps to remind me why I'll never sign up for OLD.

The OP is perfectly ok. But the thread has developed in ways nobody could have foreseen.

Stitchintime1 A bit like the other cake thread with the OP not having the authority to remove a cake from the fridge. Why do the most innocuous threads always grow legs and run off into the wilderness?

Probably because lots of us are avoiding doing boring things like work and renewing our tax credits...

I agree, Nancy. And anything to do with food brings out the weirdness in many women.

I clearly didn't follow him as I declared what way I was walking first and he could of chosen another way himself.

Yes I should of said goodbye before he bought the cake, but he suddenly declared on the way out he wasgoing to buy the cake he had been talking about and joined a q. Could hardly say goodbye then but should of done.

InTheBox thanks, clearly one of the best responses n this thread, rational and not having a pop at someone (refreshing!).

My ego was bruised and he has probably gone on lots of online dates where as I don't go on many. Thankfully not much time wasted on this one.

Very well spotted and self aware Marie. He's the unlucky one!

You clearly did follow/accompany him if you went the way he went which was opposite to the way you should have gone.

I clearly didn't follow him as I declared what way I was walking first and he could of chosen another way himself.

Yes I should of said goodbye before he bought the cake, but he suddenly declared on the way out he wasgoing to buy the cake he had been talking about and joined a q. Could hardly say goodbye then but should of done.

I think that makes what happened perfectly clear.

He bought cake to avoid walking the same way as you and you didn't take the hint.

Thanks noso, truth told if I'm still od in a few years, like him, I'll probably announce onmeeting people that I want to go home and have some cake alone. Lol

I think it's a good lesson in taking social hints for you for next time.

If he says he's going x way and you are going that way too, so he suddenly decides he wants cake, don't stand in the queue with him like a spare part!

You'll be able to laugh about it down the line! Good luck with the rest of your OD.

The cake buying happened before asking what direction just to clarify. Of all the things I did wrong that wasn't high up.

If anything he decided to walk the same way as me. Anyhow it doesn't really matter.

I clearly didn't follow him as I declared what way I was walking first and he could of chosen another way himself.

Why does the story keep changing on this aspect?

First you say you are going his way to spend 5 more minutes with him, then you say you are going the same way because you actually wanted to get something in that direction then you are the one who said you were going that way first.

Upthread you said you should have been going in the opposite direction but changed your mind to spend five more minutes with him.

Then you said that you wanted to get something in his direction anyway.

Now you're saying you said you were going that way first, but you still hung around while he was in the queue...

Oh, or what SoupDragon said

MeMeh the story is still the same, was several reasons why I didn't walk back to the direction on my house straight away. Partly to go to the evet, partly because he was probably walking that way and I was still in a bit of shock about the abrupt ending. Either partly could of got away sooner if wanted.

No, the stories are not the same at all. [shrug]

Maybe give online dating a miss for a while. Coming back to this thread and being in shock because the date went badly probably mean you are too sensitive to take the knocks that OLD will inevitably provide.