leaving the first date after one drink and getting take out to eat at home is rude

[unlucky4marie]

Just had a first date, was OK, lasted half and hour or so. He bought the first sok I offered the second, he declined. Fair enough he's obviously not interested in even being a bit friendly and had nothing else on that day got got ready to leave. But just to add insult he got a piece of cake to take away and eat at home. He was planning to eat it as soon as he got home with another drink. That's just rude right? I wanted too burst into tears after this. I'm I being too sensitive?

I was the one who called him 'a big girl's blouse' I'm just old fashioned and feel sorry for the opening poster. Has he no empathy? Couldn't have just rushed out of the door?

I think she's far odder than he is.

And anyone who goes in the opposite direction to where they're going to follow someone who's trying to end an interaction is oblivious to social cues.

ilovesooty
I think they're both a bit odd and I feel sorry for both of them.

Imagining it from the man's point of view:

He decides after half an hour that OP isn't for him and doesn't want to spend ages making small talk with someone he's not going to see again so he declines another round and says he's going home.

OP says she's going in the same direction and starts walking with him. He feels a bit awkward so he says he's popping into the cake shop as they pass, thinking OP will just carry on going without him.

OP waits for him. He starts worrying that she hasn't got the message and makes a comment about eating the cake when he gets home to try and make sure she realises he doesn't want her to go home with him.

He doesn't sound abusive or rude or "blousy." It just sounds like you both felt bit awkward and didn't really click and had different ideas about how the date was going.

He didn't pop into a cake shop.

Oh, yes, I misread it, thought OP said the cake wasn't from the same place.

So maybe he was expecting OP to leave without him while he bought cake.

I'm truly can't see what his crime was here. You'd met up, had a drink, decided that, for whatever reason but probably no reason worth over-analysing, that this first drink was as far as the date was going to go. So you get up to go your separate ways and he buys cake to take home. How does this affect you? The date is over. Er, that's it. Why should he deprive himself of cake?

God what a revelation as to how many different things people mean by "blousy"

To me blousy means a slightly bigger/buxom lady that maybe used to be a bit brassy in style but has now become a bit more dowdy... Nothing at all to do with girly, big girls blouse etc and I would never use it to describe a man eating a cake!

For the record I don't think the date did anything too wrong really and I agree thicker skin needed for online dating.

It does sound a bit like a 'funny' anecdote a guy who likes Alan Partridge-style awkward humour might like to tell his friends later.

'...and then I bought a piece of cake to take home and eat by myself!'

Though I find it a lot more likely that he just didn't think you would give it a second thought, to be honest. He wanted cake.

Chilli you have both called this man abusive and diagnosed him with SN based on the fact that he bought a cake.

It's obvious. Only people with SN eat abusive cakes.

Blowsy is a way of describing a woman. Think Bet Lynch. Full bodied, a bit rough
A big girl's blouse is a way of describing a man. It means unmanly and maybe a bit of a coward.

That was horrible of him!
Well, move on, shout NEX!? in your head.
You have to kissa lot of frogs.....and I did.. .met DH via eharmony! Keep going. Hugs xxx

I think he had a lucky escape..
When I was OLD I knew immediately whether the date would last longer than one drink, if there was a physical attraction I'd ask to meet them again, if not I'd close the date quickly give them a hug and go... Find a cake shop...

Maybe the op should book a few counselling sessions, read "Why did he do that" by Crusty Banknote and if all else fails come and start a thread on MM..

Love 'Crusty Banknote.'

I really want cale.

Kvetch - dsis went on a first date to a pub quiz. Her date was crap and couldn't answer anything. So she joined the next table, leaving date man by himself. Says a lot about dsis...

I feel sorry for this bloke that he's called a big girl's blouse for buying a piece of cake. Who knew cake eating was a matter of gender? But I suppose he might have been on BlokesNet posting if OP had terminated the date by buying a Porterhouse steak to take home.

Christ...is this thread still going on.

So can we add a man buying a post date cake to the long list of MN approved 'red flags'

Dread to think what the fall out would be if the OP had got to a third date before the man in question had decided he did not want to take things further.

What sort of cake was it? I think this is a point that needs to be cleared up before we can decide if HWBU or not.

It's obvious. Only people with SN eat abusive cakes.

It's all so clear now

Hold

Is this an abusive cake?

That's a fantastic cake.

Now, had he presented OP with that cake instead of buying his own inauspicious slice, I would have no objection to hanging the red flag bunting!