So DD is 8 and obsessed with Harry Potter. Today my friend, her godmother, offered to have her for the day. I was surprised as she has never taken her out alone before but I thought it was a lovely idea. I asked what her plans were and she said she was unsure but they would do something "in town" (we live in London).
DD has just got home having spent the day queuing at the Excel centre for a Harry Potter audition!!! DD is shy and introverted and has never done a day's acting in her life and now she is all excited that she might be the next Emma Watson. I will have to spend days trying to delicately prepare her for the fact that is not going to happen.
Is this not a rather odd thing to do to somebody else's child without consulting the parents? I mean I am really cross but before I speak to me friend I wanted to check whether others would be equally cross. Am I overreacting and should I tell my friend it was an inconsiderate and irresponsible thing to build dreams in an 8 year old and expose them to rejection?
AIBU?
to be furious at friend for taking DD to Harry Potter auditions without telling me?
ArtichokeTagine · 18/07/2015 19:51
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Apologies for long post - skip to end for condensed version 
On the subject of what the godmother did - as one who attended the audition yesterday I can say that it was a very long and drawn out process, but still an interesting experience nonetheless. A condition of entry was that the child was accompanied by a parent or legal guardian, so even if the OP's DD had been one of the lucky 100 to be called back for a further audition, it's possible she would have been disqualified at that point as the parent had not given permission for the initial process in which we all had to sign a form for the photograph to be taken and the child to be placed in the care of the official chaperone. How disappointing would that have been? The GM clearly hadn't thought it through. So, for what it's worth, YANBU.
On the subject of dreams and crushing them - some words of wisdom spoken by my 96-year-old MIL who passed them on from her own Irish grandmother are "Aim for the moon and you might hit a haystack". In other words, it's better to aim high than not to aim at all. I think it's important to support children with their dreams and ambitions, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't also be common-sense and realism. So yesterday, DD sat stoically in the queue, quietly hopeful but not behaving as though she was going to "get the part". She wants to study drama at university or drama school - that is her dream and she knows there is a lot of hard work involved, not to mention competition - yesterday served to underline that, which I think is a good thing. Our DS loves basketball and wants to study in the US - he's not the best player but is showing a real flair for coaching, so we're hoping that by supporting him in this we might be able to help him towards his dream. Our eldest daughter, who has wanted to be a vet from the day she asked us what doctors who treat animals are called, had her confidence shaken many times by people telling her she wouldn't get into vet school, and she didn't - at the first attempt - but after hitting a few haystacks on the way she's now about to start her 4th year of a Veterinary Medicine degree.
So just because something is difficult, doesn't mean it's impossible. Every one of those 14,000 or so girls yesterday 
stood an albeit tiny chance of making it through to the next round, and those that didn't came away with a fair idea of the hurdles they need to cross to make it in the world of acting. There's a difference, though, in wanting to be a successful actress and wanting to be a "film star". Maybe the OP's DD had her interest sparked, and if so it's great that the OP has someone who will help support any activities her DD might want to do in that area....but I still think it was a bit thoughtless of the GM to go behind the OP's back for something that required parental permission.
it's important to support children with their dreams and ambitions - I quite agree. Only thing is, this was not the OP's DD's dream or ambition - she's never shown the slightest bit of interest in drama, and completely lacked any interest or concern over whether or not she'd been recalled .
It is great to have a GP who will support a real interest (ie not a vicarious one), but that really has to be done in conjunction with the parents.
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There are some very agitated people on MN at the moment. One can only assume that their home life is utterly dull.
I always wonder quite how bored you need to be, to invest so heavily in the fairly minor domestic events of complete strangers that you lose all sense of proportion, dignity, and basic human decency? It's just so very... weird. 
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No problem - you had some really shitty and unjustified comments thrown at you, and you did thing by leaving the thread for a bit.
Sounds like you handled it well by simply asking her to check with you first next time 
No word from the film studio then? 
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