AIBU to tell people 'house rules' before they come & stay?

[MirandaGoshawk]

I want them to enjoy their stay and I want to enjoy having them, but am a bit anal about some things - three spring to mind that have been a problem in the past:

1. The (newish) carpet in the bedroom - I can't bear outdoor shoes in there. Wet mud was dragged through
2. Putting the loo seat down. We can see through to the downstairs loo when eating in the kitchen and it drives me nuts if the seat is up. My lot are trained but visitors do it.
3. Putting mugs down on the polished dining table when there are coasters available which has also happened in the past.

So WIBU to tell them by email or phone before they come? Or should I wait until they get here? Make it a House Rules thing or just an off-hand request to the adults? Or not say anything and just seethe?

I don't want to get into the whys and wherefores of shoes off/on or loo seat up/down as they have been done to death on MN & they are a matter of preference, it's just whether or how I say anything.

TIA

1. Email saying 'heads up, please bring slippers with you because we are shoes off in the house'

1. Don't mention that. Just close the door FFS or nip in there and close it yourself.

1. Have the coasters out not in a pile and if you see anyone out a drink down without one say 'oh, please use the coasters as drinks really mark the wood. Thanks so much'

I've just reread the building regs and the two door rule is only for commercial facilities.

Even so, surely the "rule" should be "shut the toilet door!", not put the loo seat down? Or is that just me?

I would be absolutely if someone sent me a list of house rules. It would put me off coming.

And I never wear shoes in the house, always put the toilet seat down, and usually look round for a coaster; I'd be even more mortified if I didn't do those things, as I would assume you'd taken note of them in the past, and thought I couldn't behave in your house.

The only one that you could possibly mention beforehand is the carpet. You could say something like "just thought, you might want to bring some slippers or indoor shoes with you, we're trying not to wear outdoor shoes upstairs for the sake of the carpets!"

It's a little bit cringey to say anything, I think, but if you are going to mention it, it's better for them to have a head's up so they can bring alternative footwear if they want. I would expect guests to notice that you are all taking your shoes off, and offer to do the same, but some people are embarrassed about exposing their feet.

But the other two, I wouldn't say anything.

Just make sure you put lots of coasters on the table - or put a tablecloth on just while the guests are there.

And close the toilet seat whenever you use the toilet, and shut the door whenever you're near.

This has made me cringe so hard.

These are all resolvable. I'm another who would feel a tension was created by receiving an email about things like this.

1/. Asking guests to leave shoes by door isn't that unusual, you jusy deal with that if they keep them on when they arrive. Chances are they'll follow your lead and take shoes off.

2/. Buy a thick tablecloth to protect your table

3/. Get an automatic door closure then you don't have to look at the toilet up or down when eating ever.

Getting a door closer for your downstairs loo seems rather OTT doesn't it?

No, it seems perfectly sensible if the toilet is visible from the table where people will be eating.

I'd be insulted if you sent the email. I'd assume you think I'm a slob.

Do not mention any of this. Put a tablecloth on the table if you worry they will not use coasters and/or you will be eyeing where they put down a glass. Do not mention the carpet. Do NOT mention the toilet seat. God, do not mention the toilet seat.

Oh and who are they?

Good grief, I wouldn't have visitors if I felt like this, and I'd be offended to get such an email. If you are really going to be driven mad, then whois's plan is the best one.

It's not a small job nursery - certainly not for the sake of the odd day with visitors. Much easier just to shut it surely!

privatepike I sort of imagined the loo in the corner of the kitchen!

oh sweet jesus

bless you, but this makes you sound neurotic as fuck

It is a quite small job. You just fix a spring type thing to the door. I think it would make sense for every day general use, not just for visitors.

I'd love to receive an email like this.

So I could laugh heartily and forward it to my friends.

Maybe the OP lives in that open-plan house that was linked to the other day. The one with a toilet with no front wall, and a shower in the kitchen

Oh my word.
We regularly stay with friends I have never received any rules/instructions.

I've only ever received requests for information; do you like X to eat? Would you like to go to the beach? Would the DC prefer to eat with us or earlier etc.

1. Mention on arrival
2. Get a grip
3. Use a table cloth for duration of visitors.

I thought that to Ausflug

Has that thread been deleted now? Why, it was just a show home, not somebodies house.

somebody's

I once lived in a flat where the bath was in the kitchen.

No, still here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2424703-Would-you-buy-this-flat