AIBU to want to incinerate a junior colleague

[Boosiehs]

I realise IABU BTW - RANT....

He keeps coming over to me, thinking he has found errors in something I have drafted. I have already told him 5 times that this is not the case and that he is wrong.

If he comes over again can I please use my deathray on him?

Pretty please?

the chandler I've thought it on other threads that going to hr is the equivalent of telling teacher to many grown ups. her are there to advise management. they're not in loco parent is of the staff

Limited, let it go. I totally and utterly agree with you, I cannot see you have done anything wrong, but no doubt there will be a ream of posters trying to tell you how horrid you are.....
For those of you truly bullied at work, I have nothing but sympathy for you, but the rest of you need to acknowledge that different workplaces have different ways of working.

Having worked in a very fast paced industry, it was the norm for me to be told to 'just fucking get on with it'! I did, and with a grin on my face, because when the job was done, whether it was a good result, or bad, that was it. No recriminations, no finger pointing, no stabs in the back. Just 'great job, get the beers in' or 'what a fuck up, get the beers in'.
I currently work in a role where everyone is super polite, would never raise their voice and are ultra cautious in their approach. I struggle with this at times. What do they mean when they ask 'do you think it would be possible to fulfil this request?' Well yes, of course it is possible. Why are they asking? Am I missing something? Do they think I cannot do it?

So, my preference is to work with someone like Limited, straight, to the point and no faffing.

For others, they would be better working in a more genteel atmosphere (and I know genteel is the wrong word, but I can't think of the right one), where people are treat less harshly.

Different strokes for different folks, and to be honest, in journalism if you cannot take being to fuck off, you are in the wrong industry!

If someone is incapable of doing their job of course they have to go. But there are ways of managing that professionally through proper processes.

Colleagues bitching about them, poking fun at their eating habits, betting on who will kill them, non-managerial colleagues demanding management sack colleagues (rather than just voicing concerns), mocking and laughing at them; all of these are bullying. I actually think limited's post is probably one of the less serious posted on here because she snapped once. Some other posts appear to be from people who have engaged in serious long term attempts to undermine colleagues and chip away at their self-confidence. That's bullying. It's fucking depressing that people are prepared to post about this because they think they are oh so funny and clever when they're actually just nasty and spiteful.

Even if they're crap at their job they're still human beings. They need to be managed firmly but fairly and not laughed at or gossiped about or be the butt of other people's jokes.

Some people on here are just utter nasty cunts.

I have also wanted to incinerate senior colleagues. There was the guy who said "there's a lesson to be learned here" (yes, but not by me), the guy who talked reeeeaasaallllllly slowwwwly when you were trying to get something done quickly), the guy who (despite me having working on a project with him) still had no idea what my name was and suggested I find out who worked on his other project because I "looked like a bright young girl".

The guy who went on about how he was my friend then would turn very nasty suddenly.

I guess the school bullies just have a more robust friendship style too then. I wonder if limiteds dcs ever got bullied she would tell them to toughen up? Or would she be the first in line to complain?

Limited isn't getting beers in, she 'spiked' his career and sounds like a nasty woman who isn't in the least bit bothered if she destroys people in her way.

Guess the old saying "the higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its arse" rings very true in limiteds office.

I think Limited is getting a hard time here.

I haven't worked as a journalist but can imagine that not getting copy in on time is a disaster. Presumably, if it is an important story and they've worked on it for a long time then not getting it published because it wasn't ready on time would limit your career.

I wonder if its also a form of bullying to obsessively pick apart every single action your work colleagues do, looking for undermining behaviour and going to HR to complain about them, for incidents which are a fairly standard part of doing a job in a workplace containing a variety of different personality types?

Theres a huge difference between long term systematic bullying and one off instances of being told to get on with your job robustly.

And sorry, if you can't see anything wrong with someone who constantly eats food at their desk which should be reserved for a sit-down meal, then a workplace shared with others is not perhaps the place for you.

I think the point has been made enough about Limited and should be let go now - can we move on?

One senior colleague once gave me a bollocking for sending a junior colleague to talk to him about something (just to ask him an uncomplicated question) because he "looked blank". He often looked blank, he was a nice guy but was one that needed a lot of explanation.

The senior guy felt he should be protected from having to interact with anyone he didn't think was awesome. That pissed me off.

Chandler I have never ever worked in an office where people haven't eaten slices of cake at their desk. Okay maybe the quantity was greater but the action was the same. And even if it is a problem what's wrong with introducing a no eating at desks policy rather than mocking him behind his back and years later still joking about it and patting each other on the back about how nasty you were and how funny it was and that your boss 'even knows the flavour!' Because their lives are so devoid of interest and meaning and they are so lacking in humour that bitching about someone eating cake years ago is the height of scintillating wit.

Even if someone does something unpleasant in the office you can politely ask them to stop. There are ways of dealing with these things which don't involve mocking people, discussing how to hurt or kill people, ostracising people or talking behind their backs. It's interesting that some people on this thread seem to think bad table manners are worse than mentally torturing someone or being deliberately personally rude about others and doing things which can negatively impact another persons mental health or career simply because they think being a bit irritating gives them the right to dehumanise a person and treat themas badly as I wish.

Personally I find those who have their priorities in that order beneath contempt.

Could someone enlighten me as to how these apparently hopeless unemployable people get the job in the first place?

They wouldn't last five minutes in the jobs I've had (working-class largely female occupations - does that have something to do with it?)

!

I think they're highly educated and therefore pass the interviews and tests - but they haven't often done much work before starting. They're usually clever but haven't ever had to just get stuck in regardless of whether they know exactly what needs to be done.

It's why hearing that someone is a perfectionist makes an interviewer's heart sink.

Good Lord, OurDearLeader, you've gone way off piste with that post.

I can assure you that trainees are treated with fairness and courtesy at my workplace. I was the Boss's trainee myself once, so I can personally vouch for how good-natured, considerate and conscientious he is as a trainer. All these years on, he is still a mentor to me.

And come off it, the situation I described was so unusual to be surreal. I can't for one moment accept that the fact he, or I, can find humour in it makes us bullies or beneath contempt.

Limited, let it go.

I'll take your wise counsel TooOldToBeArsed. I learned long ago that I'm not perfect and no-one's too old for a bit of advice.

Think I'm late to the party, but I think limited sounds pretty awsome. I too work in an environment with a lot of entitled young men and it's true especially as a woman it can get frustrating when they don't listen.

There's quite a bit of swearing in my work place, but it's fine (honestly!) I much prefer it to passive aggressive fakery-everyone for the most part knows where they stand. It's hard to explain how it's ok, but it just is.

I'm sure limited is a good manager, and to be honest good for her for not taking nonsense. I know I'll get flamed for this myself, but sometimes you need to put your big girl panties on and realise it's not personal, it's just about getting the job done and getting out the door!

Here here Glitter

Me and you and Limited would make an awesomely sweary fuckoffity addition to any office

I guess the school bullies just have a more robust friendship style too then. I wonder if limiteds dcs ever got bullied she would tell them to toughen up? Or would she be the first in line to complain?

Interesting point IHateMagic

I was bullied at both primary and secondary schools and also at clubs at at random points - I think I had that kind of face.

I eventually learned to deal with it very effectively, with words rather than fists. I can be witty but sometimes only 'fuck off' will do.

For a while, I was over-sensitive to perceived attacks. I would cut people off at the knees - figuratively, not literally - until I learned to calm down and realise that not everyone was out to get me. That was in my early 20s well before my encounter with the arrogant and clueless fuckwit you are so worried about.

So no, I wouldn't tell my children to toughen up. I'd tell them how to deal with bullies though and I would complain to their school if they were being bullied.

That goes for overt bullies or sneakily passive-aggressive ones

I'm with you on this limited. I'm a senior mgr of a large team in a technical high pressure environment.

I rarely lose my cool, but quite frankly there are occasions with some staff where the "supportive mentoring" approach just doesn't work.

On only a handful of occasions have I sworn at a staff member but quite frankly I don't have any regrets about doing so given the context of the related stupidity/negligence and seniority of those involved. Those staff never fucked up again.

I know that's not going to be a popular view (and its not my standard MO nor one I take any pleasure in) but tbh there are times when losing your rag is actually the best or only way to ram the point home.

There are times when "just fucking do it is warranted", definitely in cases where dithery fuckarsedness is occurring.

Drawing a parallel with a person being impatient and their kids being bullied is ridiculous and that is being polite