Page 2 | AIBU to want to incinerate a junior colleague

Silvercatowner · 15/07/2015 11:35

Tantrums your workplace sounds shambolic......

Pumpkinpositive · 15/07/2015 11:38

He keeps coming over to me, thinking he has found errors in something I have drafted. I have already told him 5 times that this is not the case and that he is wrong.

The same error or 5 different ones?

If it's the same error, have you explained why it's not an error? I can imagine someone sitting looking at what seems to be a glaring error to them, and getting panicky, not realising there is some not immediately-obvious -rationale to the calculation/procedure/policy/whatever.

If it's 5 different errors, that's strange. I'm be inclined to double check the work myself just in case.

Original poster

Boosiehs · 15/07/2015 11:40

Same question in 5 different ways, just in case I am wrong.

On one sentence.

ARGH

I don't do shouting in the office nor swearing at colleagues. I am uber polite.

However if I had the Darth vader grip......

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2015 11:40

Good luck with that Silvercatowner. Maybe you work somewhere different to me.

A person coming to me repeatedly with footling issues in my high pressure job at a particularly highly pressured part of the day deserved to be sworn at rather than be treated to a friendly discussion.

I was not a mentor. It was not a democracy.

Everyone at my place of employment would have agreed with that and the person, who was on shifts, would not, and was not, invited back.

Anyway, as Nicki said it's a joky thread. Incineration isn't allowed in most workplaces. But I can sympathise with the desire to do it.

Original poster

Boosiehs · 15/07/2015 11:43

Its on the interpretation of a clause. he keeps rephrasing his question in a manner which seems like he is actually saying "Boosiehs, this is wrong and I am right."

I have reread it - I'm happy to accept I am not perfect, but we went through this AT LENGTH yesterday and I am still sure my interpretation is correct.

OP posts:

The5DayChicken · 15/07/2015 11:44

Telling someone in the workplace to 'just fucking do it' isn't a robust management style. It's the sign of piss poor management and lack of interpersonal skills.

OP, before the slightly drastic incineration, have you properly explained the reasons that you are right? Junior colleagues can be very irritating but are usually trying to learn. Sounds like this one hasn't grasped something properly.

Original poster

Boosiehs · 15/07/2015 11:46

I have explained it several times. Its slightly unusual but at the end of the day a commercial decision was made on a point and I have explained the rational.

He can't understand this and keeps saying its wrong.

Hey ho.

warms up death ray

OP posts:

Pumpkinpositive · 15/07/2015 11:48

I have reread it - I'm happy to accept I am not perfect, but we went through this AT LENGTH yesterday and I am still sure my interpretation is correct.

Okay, well it seems as if you have explained it and he's still persisting man-like.

I do so hope you are right though, OP. Imagine how insufferable he'll be if it turns out he's right.

CruCru · 15/07/2015 11:51

I once had a junior colleague who drove me crackers. He didn't really have any common sense and he wouldn't leave me alone. He just couldn't. Instead of writing a short list of questions and coming to me every half hour / hour, he would interrupt every couple of minutes. And I was kind. And helpful. But he drove me mad.

I sometimes think that, while new graduates may have great degrees, they don't always have great social skills. I had one who had worked in a call centre before getting a graduate job - she was SUPER. Because she'd already learnt how to get along with colleagues.

AliceAlice1979 · 15/07/2015 11:52

Good god you should definitely incinerate him. As a lesson to all others.

StarsInTheNightSky · 15/07/2015 11:53

YANBU. Perhaps give him a warning death ray shot while its warming up, just to check its working OK, and then hit him with it full pelt .

In the country I live in so called robust management is the norm. So is "vigilante justice" (we live in an extremely remote area). Things are very different here, it does make life a lot simpler.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 15/07/2015 11:53

Last week an overenthusiastic junior colleague explained to our CFO in some, quite patronising, detail how our company makes money and how our P&L works. I have a sneaking suspicion she is well aware of this.

It was a bit of a laugh or cry moment. His line manager called up to apologise for him and he has backed off significantly.

It's very difficult though - it's great that he feels this level of ownership and confidence to speak out but I can't help but think he will look back in a few years and cringe at his behaviour.

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2015 11:57

But he is wasting time Boosiehs - his and yours. You are allowing him to do this. I'm not blaming you btw. You get suckered into it by trying to be nice and accommodating.

I had a lot of time for people who were trying and capable of learning. Maybe not at the most stressful part of the day, but knowing when is the most and least appropriate times to approach someone for help - and I'm not talking about arbitrary times when someone has a cob on, but clearly busy periods - is part of being capable of learning at work and personal relationships.

But there comes a point where you cannot have endless discussions with people at work. You tell them what to do, they do it. If they don't understand they come back and ask for guidance at an appropriate moment and in an appropriate manner. Fine.

But my patience would run out at repeated questions about simple procedures as balloons or in your case where your junior seems to be questioning your authority and working practices with no good reason.

Sorry, I didn't mean to bring your lighthearted thread down.

I would also want to incinerate him with a death stare

kungfupannda · 15/07/2015 12:04

I was once reading at an event, and at the end a woman pretty much elbowed other audience members out of the way to leap on me and gleefully inform me I'd used a word wrongly. It was the disinterested/uninterested thing, where the original meaning has gradually given way to the new meaning, but with both still technically correct.

The most annoying thing was that, whatever side you take in the uninterested/disinterested debate, the particular context meant that you could read it either way and still have it make sense.

And she was so bloody gleeful about 'catching me out.' No polite 'I loved your reading' or 'That was great but can I just point out...' Nope, straight in with 'That's not what that word means. Ha!'

I smiled weakly and muttered something about context and that I'd double-check. And then on the train home I was overcome with the insane urge to go back, find her, present her with an online dictionary entry and yell 'See? See? I was right!'

I just about managed to restrain myself.

Silvercatowner · 15/07/2015 12:06

A person coming to me repeatedly with footling issues in my high pressure job at a particularly highly pressured part of the day deserved to be sworn at rather than be treated to a friendly discussion.
Are you serious? Deserves to be sworn at? Good grief - yes, I am glad I don't work in your workplace - and yes, my job is high powered and influential, thank-you. I believe in treating employees with respect - if that includes using a disciplinary procedure to ease them out, so be it.
You wouldn't last 5 minutes where I work, bullies don't.

sherbetpips · 15/07/2015 12:11

Prefectly reasonable, you also needs a pen full of pigs, good for body disposal. We have discussed various methods at work many times for getting rid of annoying colleagues.

Even worse when they say 'If I may.....' or 'Can I just...'
Had one junior who understood nothing, I would try all sorts of ways of explaining it but no matter what she would be back half an hour later asking again. Problem was half the time I couldnt even understand what it was she was asking as her questions didn't make sense in relation to what she was actually querying.

Silvercatowner · 15/07/2015 12:12

You need a more robust job description and person spec, and some interviewers who know what they are doing (honestly, it isn't rocket science....)

TheChandler · 15/07/2015 12:14

While working abroad, I got the following comment on some work that was checked by a junior colleague, actually an intern who didn't hold a professional qualification (who, unlike me, was not a native English speaker). The language used at work was English.

"My track changes would come down to deleting almost everything you wrote so what's the point? And you know what`s rude, disrespectful and unprofessional? The file you uploaded to Dropbox. It insult everyone in group. It obvious that you did not familiarize yourself with necessary material otherwise you would not write things that you did so please spare me your comments. You say that my comments 'do not provide any useful input to the group work whatsoever, as there is no valid content'. I can says exactly the same thing about the thing that you wrote - 1st of April is over by now. You need also to consider improve your English skills or take some classes or something, as most of it;s wrong."

He was asked to leave after several complaints by my colleagues a few weeks later.

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 15/07/2015 12:15

I was only a mananger for a while (i don't have the personell skills required.

This guy had been asked to do something very very sinple, a small step so that the more experienced staff could get more data and actually work out the problem. He refused to do it, was insistent he had to understand the problem, I think i ended up shouting at him.

(if anyone is techy a null pointer check and throwing an exception, but he wasted days trying to find the source of the null pointer which were skills he didn't have and wasted many peoples time asking questions he couldn't understand the answer to as he lacked mountains of business knowledge)

He was sacked i was no longer a team leader.

IhateMagic · 15/07/2015 12:22

Wtf is up with grown women giving people 'death glares'!? Are you still in high school! I also think bullying juniors, shouting and swearing says more about your inability to cope in your job if you can't get through a day without glaring a newbie into submission or yelling.

desertgirl · 15/07/2015 12:32

I save my death glares for senior people, is that acceptable? usually when they agree to really stupid things in meetings and I'm too far away to kick them....

OP, if you are completely sure he's wrong, just tell him you aren't discussing it any more. But when I was an annoying junior going back and back on something, I did turn out to be right (and the partner concerned was extremely gracious about it, credit to him) - I wouldn't have been so persistent if I wasn't very sure of my ground.

DoreenLethal · 15/07/2015 12:34

If you are having to shout and swear at your staff or colleagues, then you need to look at the way you are teaching them or recruiting them in the first place. Honestly, you think we have come so far and then people get a bit of 'power' and it all goes straight to their heads. And if you can't cope with the stress then perhaps you shouldn't be in that job?

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2015 12:39

Yes I am serious silvercatowner.

As I've pointed out, someone approaching me at an appropriate part of the day with a question about a task I'd given them, would be treated with kindness and respect.

Someone repeatedly interrupting me when I was busy after I'd explained numerous times what I wanted them to do and also questioning my authority and understanding of the task in hand would be given very short shrift.

I did not have time to hold hands or even enough hands given that I was responsible for quite a few people who all seemed to get it.

TeenAndTween · 15/07/2015 12:40

In my first week in my first job after graduating, I was explained something by one of the experienced team leaders about the SW we were developing.

Next day I went back to check as I thought he'd explained something incorrectly. I was right.

Reader, I married him (9 year later).

IhateMagic · 15/07/2015 12:42

Being new at work is bad enough without a nasty cow glaring at you for trying to work out how to be helpful. What kind of awful way is that to treat someone!? Now they probably dread going to work. Im aghast at the easy way some people admit to what is bullying! How would you feel if teachers behaved like that to you dc?