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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can i just check that ainbu

268 replies

Balacqua · 13/07/2015 20:56

A family member has broken something valuable of another ones.

Of course the person who broke it should either sort it out getting fixed, pronto, or go without to come up with the cash to replace it? Right? No matter how expensive it was? No excuses?

Feel like I'm slightly losing my marbles here!

OP posts:
Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:14

Quite travail I am devastated!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 13/07/2015 23:14

He obviously has to pay for it?

Didn't the glass in the door break too?

I'd be steaming mad at someone deciding my possessions are bourgois just because the little fucker hadnt had a job yet to buy stuff Angry

I think I'd be deciding his fucking X box was bourgeois fuck arse at the same time

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:17

Bourgeois fuck arse... Grin

OP posts:
MrsJorahMormont · 13/07/2015 23:17

Yes well since he sneers in the face of evil capitalism tell him you won't disgust him by paying for his trip with filthy lucre.

If you want a compromise tell him to get a job and raise half the money and say you will loan him the rest against his birthday and Christmas money. There's a place for grand gestures but he needs to learn that they have consequences - a bit like the kid who lobbed a fire extinguisher off the roof in the London riots and ended up in prison.

Lweji · 13/07/2015 23:19

Oh, he'd be in very deep trouble.
Of the sort of having to beg to live in my house and not being reported to the police.
Both of which would mean having to pay for it from his own pocket.
And he could certainly forget about me paying for any trips.

He is 18, he knows it all, he must be made to be responsible for his own actions.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:20

Yes indeed, Mrs, that is a very good point- and one which I will make to him when I tell him what's what tomorrow

OP posts:
SistersofPercy · 13/07/2015 23:21

Id have lobbed his sorry arse through the patio doors after it!
yanbu at all.

ASettlerOfCatan · 13/07/2015 23:26

Yanbu for making an 18 yo pay for an expensive item he broke in a rage.

Yabu for saying you "can't live without" a decanter... Wink

IsItStupid · 13/07/2015 23:27

Eighteen! And throwing things!

Definitely keep the money. Clearly someone with such distaste for capitalism doesn't want 500 quid earn't through such wicked means anyway.

YANBU

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:28

That's what he says! But I say I just can't bear the thought of not having it, or not having a very similar one again, I loved it so much!

OP posts:
Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:31

Yes, 18 and throwing things... Awful I know. He was making a 'grand gesture' along the lines of 'all this is piffle to me' ... He was unaware as to the cost of the item and went rather green when I shreiked it in fury

OP posts:
snowglobemouse · 13/07/2015 23:31

he'll look back on this when he's 40 and die of embarrassment.

yanbu. I'd have chucked him through the glass.

MidniteScribbler · 13/07/2015 23:31

I'd have been kicking his arse out of the patio doors after it. Someone who shows such little respect for my belongings wouldn't be welcome to live in my house. Presuming I allowed him to stay, he would find that I wouldn't be paying for anything, including food, holidays, or anything else he thinks you should be paying for. At 18 he is quite capable of getting a job.

horseygeorgie · 13/07/2015 23:32

Hard line here i think!

Lweji · 13/07/2015 23:34

It doesn't matter whether you can live with it or not.

It was yours, and he was completely out of order to break it.

Does he have a phone, tablet, other treasured possession? I'd be tempted to take it and show him exactly what he did to you.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:34

Well quite!

OP posts:
Lweji · 13/07/2015 23:35

The cost is also irrelevant in relation to his behaviour. He simply shouldn't have thrown anything that belongs to you. He should have picked one of his things.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/07/2015 23:36

If this the eve or the boa decanter they do still have some stock only they have bunged them in the sale down to just over £400.

Oh and I would shoot him at dawn

UnsolvedMystery · 13/07/2015 23:36

Tell him that holidays are the kind of pointless bourgeois indulgence that got previous generations into the mess they are now in so you consider it your duty to save him from himself.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:36

About taking one of his treasured possessions, well I couldn't I really couldn't- I'm an absolute softie and I couldn't bring myself to damage something he loves... I will stand firm on the holiday though

OP posts:
Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:38

Oh Thanks sock- sorry to be a pain but could you link that?

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/07/2015 23:40

No worries will find the site I saw them on yesterday, as long as you promise not to buy the horn because it's fugly

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:40

Unsolved- I will say that!

OP posts:
tootiredtoknow · 13/07/2015 23:40

Wow, I would take everything he owns and sold it for peanuts on ebay to pay for the damage. In fact he'd be sleeping in a tent in the garden if he lived in my house.

MrsJorahMormont · 13/07/2015 23:40

Sorry OP but I can't help sniggering at your 'he went a bit green when he learned the value'. Bet he wishes he'd chucked a Value tumbler out the door now :o

Seriously though, we can laugh at it being a decanter but it was precious to you and he was out of line. We all have things that we love beyond their actual value (whether they are worth a pound or a thousand pounds) and he really does need to understand that he was totally out of order. I would expect crawling repentance tomorrow and if he tries to front it out I would be having sharp words to the effect that it was a bad move and he needs to have the chops to accept he's in the wrong and deal with the consequences.

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