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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can i just check that ainbu

268 replies

Balacqua · 13/07/2015 20:56

A family member has broken something valuable of another ones.

Of course the person who broke it should either sort it out getting fixed, pronto, or go without to come up with the cash to replace it? Right? No matter how expensive it was? No excuses?

Feel like I'm slightly losing my marbles here!

OP posts:
Spartans · 13/07/2015 22:10

A star wars collectable ?

The limited edition millennium falcon?

Death Star?

Alwayswiththechords · 13/07/2015 22:10

If it was broken intentionally or due to a foolish act and the breaker (?) knew the value (cash or emotional) then yes they should be trying to somehow make up for it. But if it was just an accident then maybe not. Shops are different of course, you break it, you pay for it.

98percentchocolate · 13/07/2015 22:12

Is this still going???

zzzzz · 13/07/2015 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Headoverheels · 13/07/2015 22:15

OP just tell us what happened!

Lweji · 13/07/2015 22:18

A star wars collectable?

If that is the case, then send a bounty hunter after them and freeze them in carbonite if they don't pay.

pinkyredrose · 13/07/2015 22:21

Christ OP will you just tell us what fucking happened?

UnsolvedMystery · 13/07/2015 22:25

Definitely not enough information to make a reasonable judgement.
Until such time as the detail is provided, I'm with the teen.

TRexingInAsda · 13/07/2015 22:29

Who broke what, under what circumstances and what the fuck is going on now? Just tell us what happened. Are you the mum and they your teenager? Shall we make our own scenario because you can't be arsed ? Mine goes:
My teenage son threw a strop about my objectification of men and broke my solid gold dildo. He didn't realise that it was actually a rare piece of art by a renowned artist. He now refuses to pay as I have lost the certification for the artwork and he suspects it was a fake. AIBU to stop his pocket money for the next 40 years to buy myself another gold dildo?

Lweji · 13/07/2015 22:29

Maybe it was an antique tap that was dripping.

pinkyredrose · 13/07/2015 22:31

TRexing Grin

totallybewildered · 13/07/2015 22:32

What a pointless thread. For goodness sake.

If the teen has committed criminal damage, report them to the police.

But unless you actually say what has happened, we can't really judge, can we.

Zebda · 13/07/2015 22:33

Snort at the possibly fake gold dildo Grin not an essential item though, albeit much treasured

FarFromAnyRoad · 13/07/2015 22:43

I have developed a large hole in the back of my head whilst waiting for some sense of reality to descend upon this thread. Now my brains are starting to leak out.
However, I've had a great idea. We should start making up possible scenarios and endings to this half-tale. Best one scores the 3 Curly Wurly bars sitting in my fridge which I MUST. NOT. EAT. Grin

SistersofPercy · 13/07/2015 22:57

Oooh.
checks Star Wars collection
checks teen is in bed
breathes sigh of relief that I'm not the mystic mumsnetter

As you were.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:02

So sorry for being the cause of such a stir! My phone ran out of battery and I was then talking to said teen. Right. To put you all out of your misery - ds 18 took an argument about the older generation screwing over the younger generation too far over Sunday lunch and when I very mildly pointed out that he would be in receipt of all my worldly goods he lobbed my riedel crystal decanter- honestly- through the patio doors... And he now claims that kind of pointless bourgeois materialism is what got his generation into the mess it's in.
Sigh.
The holiday is for a trip im giving him the money for to go in some kind of spray painted bus across Europe! I've said I'll keep the 500 to replace what he smashed and this is where the circular arguments ensued...

OP posts:
Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:03

Grin solid gold Dido!!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/07/2015 23:05

Why didn't you just say so?!

No I'm with you... It's the gift of eternal knowledge they don't grow out of until their 20s with massive arrogance thrown in.

I'm with you.. Make sure you stick to it though.

Stratter5 · 13/07/2015 23:06

"You deliberately broke something that is of immense value to me.
I will be keeping the £500 to replace it.
This is not up for discussion"

And discuss it no further, unless you'd like to add how disappointed you are with his attitude and lack of respect.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:07

Well I didn't want the thread to descend into a discussion about whether or not he was right!

OP posts:
zipzap · 13/07/2015 23:09

In that case I'd definitely keep the £500 and not put it towards the trip.

Was a childish thing for him to do but at his age he is old enough to know that when thrown, glass breaks. And even if he didn't realise the monetary value of it, he knew how much it meant to you - and still deliberately destroyed it, which is worse.

Having come this far, and as you are not handing over money you would have otherwise done (as opposed to trying to extract money from say a nephew) I'd definitely be keeping the money. and even a bit more to cover the actual original cost given the sentimental value of the piece and his disrespect of it.

I'd also be wondering about leaving him with other things of mine - or leaving them to him if that's all he thinks of my stuff.

What would he think if you had thrown his xbox/playstation/tv/thing he cares lots about/etc to the floor to prove a point and broke it? He'd expect you to replace it!

he's lucky that the patio doors weren't broken and he's not paying for them too (I assume he threw through an open window...)

totallybewildered · 13/07/2015 23:09

Criminal damage. Does he realise if you reported him he would get a criminal record.

he definitely doesn't get the money, and he does get to clear up.

OttiliaVonBCup · 13/07/2015 23:10

I'm with the teenager.

Decanters are so Eighties.
And have you ever tried to wash and dry the bastarding thing?
Just drink your wine out of ikea tumblers and be done with it.

travailtotravel · 13/07/2015 23:10

Oh god, as a winey myself I feel the Riedel pain. I don't care what he thinks, the property was not his to destroy. It needs to be replaced. I also think he needs to do a great long list of chores on top of missing out on the trip.
He can have views about bourgeois materialism and pointlessness anytime he likes with his own stuff and in his own house.

Original poster
Balacqua · 13/07/2015 23:12

They were open at the time so at least not more expense there- but yes! Glad to see other mnetters taking the hard line too here! (It was a one off though- he's very earnest in general)

OP posts: