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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can i just check that ainbu

268 replies

Balacqua · 13/07/2015 20:56

A family member has broken something valuable of another ones.

Of course the person who broke it should either sort it out getting fixed, pronto, or go without to come up with the cash to replace it? Right? No matter how expensive it was? No excuses?

Feel like I'm slightly losing my marbles here!

OP posts:
Spartans · 13/07/2015 21:28

They should offer to pay.

But when you say missing a holiday. Are they old enough to stay home? Will it effect the rest of the family? Is it really that bad they should miss a holiday? Can it be paid for later or claimed on insurance?

zipzap · 13/07/2015 21:28

I guess partly depends quite how expensive it is, how easily it was broken (eg if there were young dc around had it been moved out of harm's way, etc), how remorseful they are, how careful they were around it, did they know it was valuable, is it easily replaceable (if it was great aunt ernesta's Ming vase it might be difficult) and so on.

They should definitely be offering to pay for it - to be fixed or a replacement. Depending on the price difference and how good the replacement will be vs the new one not sure whether the breaker or owner should be able to choose - tricky if a price difference and the breaker wants to repair but the owner wants a new one.

If it's something that's pretty expensive (£100-£1000's) then how will that impact the person that's paying? Could be tricky to get money out of them if that's the money for their car MOT or their holiday or their food bill this month.

Do you have insurance? Or do they? Could they pay the excess and any rise in insurance cost as a result of the claim if that would work out cheaper?

But yes - in principle - they should offer unreservedly and coming up with the money is their problem. If they don't and you have to ask then they should still accept they need to pay even if they don't like it. If the object was your car (something people are used to thinking about being damaged, others being at fault and being insured) then how would they react if it was a car of a similar value that they had damaged - ht

Sounds like we need more juicy details - who broke what and how? And how much do you want them to pay out!

WhoNickedMyName · 13/07/2015 21:29

FGS just tell the story.

A teenager,? yours? aged 18/19 has broken their siblings/your iPhone/TV/PlayStation in temper and paying for it means they'll miss out on their lads holiday to Shagaluf - tough shit, they pay for a replacement and it's a lesson learned.

Moreisnnogedag · 13/07/2015 21:30

Oh come on what happened? Because yes it matters what was happening at the time. An 11 yr old is different to a 16yr old, everyone on a wind up is different to a sudden temper tantrum, throwing an iPad to the floor is different to knocking into a shelf.

FunkyPeacock · 13/07/2015 21:32

I still want to know what it is

A 16 year old who chucks a laptop against the wall in a rage should perhaps be treated differently to one who snaps a pencil out of frustration (that turns out to be a designer, gold- plated pencil that the OP has an emotional attachment to Grin)

PeppaWellington · 13/07/2015 21:34

Teenager has tantrum and breaks something valuable to its owner.

Yes teenager should replace/cough up.

patterkiller · 13/07/2015 21:40

Well, that's two minutes I won't get back.

LilyMayViolet · 13/07/2015 21:41

If it is as Peppa suggests then I agree with her. At least they should make some sort of meaningful gesture.

TwinPiques · 13/07/2015 21:41

You do know that AIBU isn't legally binding, OP? You can tell us...

Wideopenspace · 13/07/2015 21:41

No. I think the teenager broke a 'valuable' crystal ball over the OP's head because the OP kept being all like 'woooo, I could tell you how you did in your GCSEs, but would that be good for your soul' and shit.

OP's teenager, I'm with you.

Topseyt · 13/07/2015 21:43

So, what caused the teenage tantrum? Whose teenager is it? Why does said teenager not seem to understand that some things are valuable to other people, either in monetary terms or also in terms of sentimental value?

Ideally though, yes, of course said teenager should try to pay as much as they can for a replacement, and should suffer some consequences.

Stop being so irritating and mysterious. Just tell the fucking story.

Moreisnnogedag · 13/07/2015 21:49

Fuck I think the teenager is owed a fucking medal. I'd have snapped by now.

You're not going to tell us and I'm going to be peeved forever till I go to bed

SchwarzwalderKirschtorte · 13/07/2015 21:50

I'll bet OP puts oblique comments on facebook and then replies "I'll pm you" when the inevitable "hun, what's up?" gets posted.

Teen doesn't need to understand why it's important - teen needs to replace said item as it wasn't theirs to break. Getting into a discussion about it is deviation and designed to change the subject.

Bailey101 · 13/07/2015 21:50

The OP's even more cryptic then the shady fortune teller I saw in Blackpool one time Hmm

Zebda · 13/07/2015 21:51

Is it your teenager who did the breaking, and your thing that was broken or does this involve another family member? Does the item need to be replaced immediately because it's needed for work etc it was it 'just' a pretty thing to look at?

Yes, breaking on purpose necessitates replacement no doubt at all, but depending on the answers to my questions, I think payment in installments should be considered (in a world where answers might be forthcoming.,.)

I think the cryptic drip feeding is really annoying and am annoyed with self for engaging with the thread!

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 13/07/2015 21:55

God, irritating. Tell the story if you want to know if YABU. This drip feeding is too annoying to follow.

It's a thing that's broken, not a bloody MI5 op.

AnulTheMagnificent · 13/07/2015 21:59

Is there actually a point to this thread?

lougle · 13/07/2015 22:01

Judge Judy wouldn't stand for this, I can tell you!

GlitzAndGigglesx · 13/07/2015 22:02

Yes Anul to infuriate everyone it seems! I'm still none the wiser, but we've established it's about a teenager

serin · 13/07/2015 22:03

Oh I would love to know what the model was actually of?

Giant penis??

chairmeoh · 13/07/2015 22:04

The person whose 'thing' it is/was can't live without it? Yet the teen doesn't understand its value?
Was it precious jewellery?

FunkyPeacock · 13/07/2015 22:08

A giant penis made from precious jewels?

MrsJorahMormont · 13/07/2015 22:08

FGS just outline what happened will you? YABVU to be dripfeeding to this extent. Just spit it out and let MN decide.

Corygal · 13/07/2015 22:09

The filthy tempered teen gets to pay. Even when they are arguing ferociously with their mother about why they shouldn't.

Then the mother gets to post a sentence in plain English about what happened, assuming any of us is still alive at that point.

littlepeas · 13/07/2015 22:09

This is the most infuriating thread I have ever read!