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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed of at people that make comments about sons hair

253 replies

ghostspirit · 12/07/2015 14:55

People are really starting to pee me of with comments about my sons hair. person 1 when you getting his hair cut he looks like a girl. says it often-ish

person 2 omg get his hair cut. why do you make him have long hair. your really making him into someone hes not.

Me: i have had is hair cut....her:but a bob why would you do that.

i just feel like shes rude when her son has his hair cut i say its nice which it is. i think my son suits long hair and he does not have to have it shaved like many boys do. and theses things are said whilst hes there.

To be pissed of at people that make comments about sons hair

OP posts:

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Iflyaway · 12/07/2015 20:33

I love long hair on boys. Shows they are non-conformist.

People are rude anyway, just ignore. I try when getting comments about a physical health problem

LemonYellowSun · 12/07/2015 20:34

Ignore them. I love longer hair on boys and men. Every man should have long hair at some point in their life IMO. could you imagine having the same hair all your life???!!

That said I that got my ds2 hair cut shorter because he requested it. His hair, his choice. bah ????

Yarp · 12/07/2015 20:35

No134

I like girls with short hair. I have short hair. Don't like long hair on boys, or on girls if it's not in good condition. I don't know why.

I had a lovely short cut when I was 7, but got upset at people often assuming I was a boy, so had my ears pierced

Astrid28 · 12/07/2015 20:39

DS has long hair which stemmed from him hating getting his hair cut as a toddler rather than being a conscious decision and he sometimes gets called a girl - usually by elderly people.

We did go short last summer and it just really didn't suit him so it's long again for now.

I've had people comment on his hair when their own children's 'traditional' styles look terrible (think girls with fringes above the eyebrows and so thin it looks like a mullet) and I'd never dream of passing coment.

BIL is forever telling me to get it shaved off which used to bother me a little bit, but DS is now 5 and perfectly happy with it so until he's not, the wig stays put!

saoirse31 · 12/07/2015 20:40

Don't like long hair on boys generally but would never comment in rl. you asked for comments tho and having seen second photo I wonder if people r trying to give some advice rather than be rude. I'd mistake him for a girl in that photo and think style does nothing for what is a very good looking boy.

I wonder are the people you know assuming that you don't want it cut ? I wonder r they right?

The whole he cried when it was short.... so does that mean you're telling him he didn't like it short all the time?

at a minimum I'd get a new hairdresser but I'd really wonder r you deliberately or not trying to encourage him not to cut it....

Jellybean83 · 12/07/2015 20:45

I personally would get some layers chopped into it, it is a similar length to my DS hair and I like to get it cut so it's a bit choppy and not too neat. I had the opposite problem last year when DS caught head lice, I was all for shaving the whole thing off but everyone disagreed, I even had his friends mums and his nursery teachers telling me not to touch it... I'm glad I didn't, he really suits his long hair and he's always had that style, he would look rather odd with a shaven head. I know there will be a time he will ask for it short but I think he's quite content with it just now because he is the only one in his class with long hair so in his opinion it makes him 'so cool'.

Georgina1975 · 12/07/2015 20:46

There is a boy near my (about 6/7) with shoulder length hair - it is quite curly and "surfer dude". I really like it. I don't like this haircut at all, but that would be true for a girl too. Just don't like flat one-length bobs.

Georgina1975 · 12/07/2015 20:48

That is really nice hair Jelly - love it.

PinguForPresident · 12/07/2015 20:49

My son is 3 and has the most stunning long, blond, curly hair. It's seriously beautiful. He gets called a girl all the time - he's very pretty, which confuses people further - but he just laughs and say "I a boy!"

He's had a couple of cuts, but he hates the barbers and likes his hair long ("I not want my hair short mummy. My ears would be sad"). I'm happy for him to keep it long forever.

People who make comments about boys needing short hair are very rude and a little bit sexist. I feel a bit sad for them.

Astrid28 · 12/07/2015 20:52

Jellybean, your sons hair is very similar in colour and style to my sons and people say the same since we cut it last summer - don't you dare cut it off again!

spiderlight · 12/07/2015 21:02

Jellybean My DS had hair like that until a couple of months back, but red. He suddenly decided he wanted it cut a couple of months back when he turned 8. Our hairdresser, who's been trimming and layering it for years, could barely bring herself to take a scissors to it (to the point where it took two appointments to get it as short as he wanted it), and the grief I had from the other mums in the school playground was untrue - one of them cornered me on Friday and practically ordered me to make him grow it again!!

ghostspirit I know several boys with hair like your DS's and they all look really cool. If he likes it and it suits him, ignore what people say. It really is none of their business! A few layers might give it a bit of movement and make it more of a boyish cut.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 12/07/2015 21:08

31 I wonder are the people you know assuming that you don't want it cut ? I wonder r they right?

The whole he cried when it was short.... so does that mean you're telling him he didn't like it short all the time?

at a minimum I'd get a new hairdresser but I'd really wonder r you deliberately or not trying to encourage him not to cut it....

only thing that i agree with there 31 is yes use a different hair dresser which is why i agreed layers might help.

OP posts:

Tomfunsnumber1trolley · 12/07/2015 21:09

notanartist he must have a twin! Although I have a Facebook friend and her little boy looks quite similar and his name begins with G!

Oldraver · 12/07/2015 21:10

DS now ha shoulder length (any longer and he would have to tie it back for PE) and he has had constant comments all the time. I have made it very clear to family that negative comments are not acceptable. One BIL now blanks us.

He has recently had comments from boys at school and has decided that he can put up with it for now but when he goes to secondary he may have it cut

It really suits him as well

ouryve · 12/07/2015 21:15

His hair is just like DS2's (only DS2's is a mess, at the moment, because it's a while since he's sat still enough for a decent cut). I think there's a photo or two of him in my profile from a few years ago.

He's never had it short. I can't imagine it short. He loves swishing it and would probably cry if I cut it short. And our neighbour with a dog with the same name as him will always insist on referring to him as her (as well as forgetting that he has very limited speech!)

Original poster

ghostspirit · 12/07/2015 21:16

raver BIL blanks you both because you asked for no negitive comments about hair...thats madness

OP posts:

Oldraver · 12/07/2015 21:21

Yep...last time we visited he ignore me and DS...

I mean how could you not like this

Oldraver · 12/07/2015 21:21

Though it was messier than usual that day

BoobsandLoubs · 12/07/2015 21:24

Regardless of anyone's opinion on his hair, nobody should be making narrative comments about a child's appearance in front of them. That is completely unacceptable and I'd be telling the person that pretty clearly!

memememum · 12/07/2015 21:24

We live in a lovely, mixed, cosmopolitan area and even secondary school boys are happy to walk down the street with every style from pony tails to big afros to grade ones.

It's only when we go to visit relatives in more suburban areas that we get intolerant, ignorant comments about our 3 year old DS with slightly less than short hair.

It's so unkind and thoughtless. He was still bringing up the comments and crying weeks after our last visit.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 12/07/2015 21:26

raver he is lovely. hope BIL has not upset him to much

OP posts:

Original poster

ghostspirit · 12/07/2015 21:32

mememe same here now i think about it. even more so in secondary

OP posts:

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 12/07/2015 21:36

I have two boys (and two girls) and they have chosen their own hair styles since they had an opinion on the matter :) (to be fair no-one has asked for a mowhawk or wanted a shaved head)

Mine have both gone through periods of having long hair and shorter and we have had comments at times but ignored. It's just hair!

I do think your ds's hair could be de-bobbed a bit though..a few layers so it's not a blunt bob might look fab and surfer dude-ish.

DS1 has not onl had long hair but red hair, brown hair, (Natural blonde) in his mid teens. DS2 had dead straight blonde hair which weirdly turned almost afro at puberty.. Currently short as he has autism and having got over the cutting it bit, it's easier to manage...but I rather miss his wild mop! Most of his teachers at his special school were desperate to get it cut but he ignored them!

Oldraver · 12/07/2015 21:42

He was bothered by the comments hence why I took BIL(and others) to task. Luckily he wasn't aware he was being ignored

He loves his family 'up North' who we visited mostly once a year but I really will have to re-evaluate if they are the kind of people we want to give our time too

DoesItReallyMatter · 12/07/2015 21:47

As long as it's the boys choice to have long hair and as long as they are happy with it then that's all that should matter.

OP, I do think your son looks like a girl but if he is ok with that then that's fine. I think it's rude for anyone to say he should have it cut, especially if it's in front of him. However you can't be surprised if people do mistake him.

I think the boys in the other posters photos do look like boys though.

I think it's much more unusual for teens to look like girls if they have long hair.

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