To ask if you've ever experienced a house get out of control

[atthelake]

That gives a weird image of a tantrumming house but the truth isn't so funny.

House is disgusting. Repulsive, awful, dirty. I just can't seem to manage it. I used to be able to. Now I'm struggling so much.

I'm talking washing up on the dirty sofa and piles of dirty clothes and crisps trodden in carpet upstairs and bathroom full of clothes and cat wee (thanks cat) and empty bottles and half full bottles of drinks and tin openers in lounge and cobwebs and muck and dirt.

Am i trying to have my child taken off me or something? :)

I semi confided in a friend yesterday who said she had found it hard until she went on ADs.

Is this the answer? When I've taken them in the past I just felt flat but maybe I didn't try the right ones or for long enough.

It's getting me down, it's getting everybody down but it's as if I cant. Sometimes I make some vague attempt to clear some rubble but it barely makes a dent.

You're pregnant as well?! It's not healthy for you or baby to get so stressed out at the moment.

My advice to you right now is to switch off the computer, get little one in a pushchair, make a picnic and get out of the house, go for a walk find a park or something and just forget the house.

Tomorrow you will see your GP and start dealing with things but today just get out of the stressful environment and forget about it.

Fresh air and a little walk is what Dr Cain prescribes today.
Like I said, I'm not medically trained but I really don't think you should try to deal with it until you have seen your GP.

Should I just talk about the tiredness / lethargy though?

I don't want tablets while the baby is still inside me.

well done. you have started, you will make progress, it will get better.

like you I ma scratching at the surface, between posting. I am shamelessly using your thread as an inspiration.

of course it does not look much better, but it will do honestly. keep scratching away at it, it will imporve, you can do it. you have alredy proved that this morning.

have lunch, then tackle some more this afternoon.

do the social services test... what would freak them out theost? clean bedding for baby? a space to play? is she mobile? try cleaning up her room and making it a safe place to play while you potter about upstairs doing the bathroom and your room. of course this may take longer than one day but hey, making a start will help.

oh and thanks again lake. I managed to put one laundry basket of stuff away and clean the sink in a fit of guilt at the state of the place.

Oh OP Bless You

At least you SEE it is a mess and can do something . Do you have Depression, Anxiety etc (don't worry I see this is page 5 so shall go look). Now is the time to go Doctors for help .

I do hope help comes to You , MY DM would help you in a bloody shot lol .. Seriously she never sits still

Tell your GP everything, say the house work has got on top of your and you are feeling it is beyond your control. You don't have get into specifics.
Your GP will be best to advise on tablets whilst pregnant.

Please consider my suggestion, one more day is not going to make any difference to the house.

Do go see the GP. They won't judge you, as Steady said it may be a reason other than depression. We're not judging you on here - lots of us have been there too.

I'm just too tired Cain, DH has the baby. Thanks, though :)

My house was like yours but then I read this book www.amazon.co.uk/The-Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-effective/dp/0091955106.

Life changing book. Seriously!! I went from drowning in clutter and filth to having the tidiest house I know. It's now really easy to keep in top of.

The book showed me how to declutter to the extreme. Gone are all the objects that seemed to weigh me down. The whole process took 4 months and a couple of hours each day. I started with unsentimental stuff initially. After decluttering every room to within an inch of its life, i then worked on storage/folding clothes/limiting what I buy

There's lots of kondo threads on MN if you look. Great inspiration.

If DH has the baby go have a nap, listen to your body. Tiredness is a form of torture!

You know what? If it's the clutter which is stopping you from cleaning, and it is the cleaning you need to do rather than sorting the clutter, then don't sort it.

Bag it up - duvet cases will hold huge amounts, cardboard boxes too. Bin anything that is obviously rubbish, but everything which is just in the wrong place/needing to be fixed/hasn't got a home/etc. can just be shoved into a box or a bag. Don't think about where it ought to be or what you're going to do next with it. Just box it up and then write which room it came from. Or leave the box(es) in the corner of the room.

It really won't take very long to do that in the sitting room. Remember, you're not trying to sort it, tidy it, organise it, decide what to do with it. You're just throwing away the mouldy apple cores and empty chip wrappers, and putting everything else in a box (fling dirty washing into the hall as you find it).

Even the most chaotic room I've had (and it's been very bad), it's been possible to do that in 20 minutes or so. Then when it's clear, you can see which bits need cleaning, and the cleaning won't seem so futile.

Don't worry about what's in the box for now. Just get it out if the way so you can clean. Then you'll have somewhere clean to sit down in, and you might be able to relax a little when you do sit down, rather than feeling ground down by it all. And if you need something from the box, just take it out (and shove the rest back in).

That kind of tidying is something I find I can do when a child is asleep. So once you've made the sitting room nice, the next evening you could try a different room. And once you know they are all clean underneath, then you can start working through the boxes. But that isn't something you need to even think about to begin with, and it is something you'll find much easier once you've got a lovely clean and sweet smelling home again.

Thanks :) rhe cleaner would be a great idea if I could tidy but it seems beyond me and I know that's pathetic.

Am pregnant so when baby is here yes that can be project no1

You think you'll have more time and inclination for makeovers and cleaning AFTER you've had the baby? That's unlikely.

Use your nesting instinct. Now.

Could you afford to hire a bunch of cleaners from an agency for a day?

Lie if you feel you have to about why it is in such a state: bad renters/house guests?

There is no chance of them calling SS. Especially as you are paying them to fix the worst of the problem. You'd be amazed at how much can be done by 4 people in an 8 hour day.

Thanks sleep :)

How much is tidying and how much is binning though?

The problem is, the house sounds like it's quite a way past the 10-20 minute clean up and you'll feel better stage. So, sadly, the only way it's going to improve is if you dedicate a few days/ a week to transforming it. And then turn off the internet, get off your butt and do it. Be ruthless. Only keep stuff you actually have room or storage for. Open the windows. Chuck away everything that's covered in cat pee. If the sofa's covers come off, wash them on low. Scrub everything so the house begins to smell clean. If you can, buy fresh bedding.

I know how miserable it is to feel low, but if you're not able or willing to pay someone else to do it, you're going to have to stop procrastinating and work! Imagine how brilliant you'll feel next weekend if the house is sparkling. It honestly can be done x

Look up APDO website. You could (funds permitting) get in a professional organiser. Where are you based by the way?

Hi op fluoxetine I took fluoxetine in pregnancy because I was severely depressed . Speak to your GP asap please . As for the house one bit at a time try and clean the kitchen one day the bathroom the next day and so on when you start seeing results it will help you feel motivated. When it comes to de cluttering you have to be ruthless. As a pp mentioned little walks even for 20 minutes will help you feel better . How you feel better soon .

Can you afford to hire a small skip OP? That ought to make rubbish disposal pretty quick and easy.

Also, the one thing you keep saying all through the thread is that you couldn't possibly let anyone see your house in this state.

Therefore I wonder if actually inviting someone round for a coffee in say, a couple of weeks, might give you a massive kick up the arse and motivate you to clean up?

If you say you are too tired to even sit up, does that mean you are literally lying around or in bed? You are definitely depressed if so.

You are obviously overwhelmed by it all but you really must tackle the dirty areas ie cats wee, dirty dishes, rotting food, wrappers etc. Can I ask why your partner isn't doing the very basics like that? You say he is helpful.

Reading this thread gave me the boot up the backside to do the 15 minute timer thing. In that time I have hoovered my dd's bedroom and chucked out a box of rubbish from her room. The timer went off and I did another 5 minutes putting things away. Then put a load of washing on. Little things make a big difference and I feel better already.

The thing is....you absolutely have to get this sorted before the baby is born. You can't bring a new born baby home to to a filthy house with cat pee everywhere. The midwife will be coming to visit every day.

When is the baby due?

If you live anywhere near Manchester I'll come round and help you

It's a funny one isn't it - I wonder if some of your tiredness/lethagy might be down to the state of the place - it can become a bit chicken and egg, for me, certainly. I'm not suggesting AT ALL that the way you feel is all in your head, but I know if i'm living in chaos, I feel overwhelmed and anxious, so I can't fix it, so I feel worse etc..

As PPs have suggested, bin all rubbish plus anything that has not been used for 6 months. Be ruthless.

Then put everything in the right room, even if it is just in a box.

That should give you enough room to clean.

Hippo Bags are a good, cheap solution for getting rid of stuff (they are like enormo bags that get taken away like a skip) Or if you can fill binliners it would probably only cost about £40 to get a rubbish clearance person to come and take it all away.

Op when is the baby due? You'll have the midwife and health visitors coming round daily then, and potentially asking to use your loo. You need to ask for help now, I think.