To think this isn't quite right?

[Allisgood1]

Dd (6) in the park after school the other day. She has two best friends, and the backstory (which I won't get into too much) is that one friend has a helicopter mum and has gradually been driving a wedge between not only our relationships but also the 3 girls seem to be playing less and less together.

Anyway, other day helicopter mums (HM) dd had a massive sausage roll. My dd and other friend asked if they could have some. Friend turned to HM and said "do I have to?" And HM said "only if you want". Well she decided that actually she didn't want to. In the end the roll was far too large for her to finish but she still refused to share it and HM said "why didn't you bring a snack?"

Is it me or should we be encouraging our children to share?

I wouldn't mind an arm sized sausage roll now. I've eaten all my Revels.

I think children should be allowed not to share my food. People can be very funny about food. I am. I will share something in a packet (you could have some of the Revels, no problem) but I won't share something that is wet/touching something else/in my hand/needs a bit torn or bitten off it. I also won't drink from a bottle which somebody else has taken a drink from. I've been like this from I was a kid, and used to get the cold shakes when my dad asked for ''a swig'' from my water bottle. I didn't mean to be a horrid drama queen, but it really freaked me out.

People always go on about eating their children's leftovers- the very thought makes me feel ill. All chewy and touchy.

So I have sympathy for sausage girl in case she is an odd ball like me

And FYI, HM was off to helicopter her other DC who wasn't in the park. Can't helicopter two kids at once smile

You really can't stand this woman, can you? What's the real story here - did she sleep with your husband, eat your goldfish, get you sacked from your dream job?

I'm always surprised -and dubious- about threads like this. Surely there every possibility that this other mother is on MN too and will recognise the scenario and know who posted it? And then she'll know your delightful opinion of her too. So, in the event that this really did happen as you say it did, is it worth hurting someone by bitching about their parenting on an Internet forum, knowing that they could very easily stumble upon it?

I think children should be allowed not to share my food

their food, that should have said

I just had to measure.

Shoulder to wrist is 22 inches and I am a shortarse tiny.

That is one biiiiig sausage roll.

So the term 'helicopter' is YET ANOTHER way of being a judgey pants, yes?

I'm going to start a list of ways women judge each other. I might start an AIBU about it, in fact.

I should point out that we live in a rural village. I do know the kids, that get a bit of whatever my daughter is having.
I don't share drinks, as they all have water bottles with them.

I'm always surprised -and dubious- about threads like this. Surely there every possibility that this other mother is on MN too and will recognise the scenario and know who posted it?

YY Crystal there can't be many people that went to the park this week with their child and a sausage roll as big as a human arm let's face it.

Like this?

*I think children should be allowed not to share my food

their food, that should have said*

I think I agree more with the first version.
I hate anyone near my food. I won't share dips, packers of crisps, etc. basically if there us a risk of you touching my food while getting some then NO!

Don't tell the child they are sharing? Just do it for them? Sorry don't agree with that either.

I very much doubt the women in question is hm, purely based on the fact that she left the child at the park and she encouraged her to make her own choice. Which I believe is better for children

This makes some interesting points

Why not teabag

"bit for you, bit for whomever... "
Easy.

Staywithme

Exactly! My niece used to gently poke all the cakes on a plate, before choosing the one she wanted. Her parents would smile indulgently, then ask me why I didn't want one. Oh God, where to start?

It's funny you know. In this case (I old you she is a HM and there's a backstory), when the role has been reversed but NOT with food, if my dd has said "no", her Dd will run off crying, HM gets all involved and makes my DD share. Not let them just sort it out between them, but actually gets right in the middle of the drama. All. The. Time. So yes, she's a HM and yes, this probably isn't about the bloody oversized sausage roll.

Can you clarify op, arm sized? Are we talking shoulder to finger tip? Wrist to elbow? Elbow to shoulder? And also if you could let us know approx circumference. Ds loves a sausage roll....need to know whether this shop is worth hunting down!

I find it interesting, that modern day parents constantly look for ways to validate selfish behaviour.
It is kind to share. It doesn't fuck up your kids, and it is easy.

Ah.

So now it isn't about the sausage roll.

Can you please stop using the judgey judgey pants terminology OP.

I'm beginning to judge you for it.

OP, you are drip feeding/adding your supporting cast now

HM doesn't like you. You don't like Hm. The girls don't get on particularly well anymore. Let it go

But meanwhile, tell us, whither the huge sausage roll? Asda?

It is kind to share. It doesn't fuck up your kids, and it is easy.

Except food that is wet, touching other food, a funny colour, or needs torn/a bit broken off it. Otherwise, yes I'm with you on that

Well of course I can judge. After all, most of you have judged me this evening.

Pot? Kettle? Black?

Such bad manners to ask someone for some of their food!! Wait to be offered some, and if the offer doesnt come, suck it up! You're not entitled to any. This is what you should be teaching your child.

I would never offer someone a bite of my sandwich but something like a bag of crisps or a box of chocs (ie more than one item), I would always offer. It's just being generous. That said, if I was the only person that brought food in a situation like being lost on a mountain side and it was lunchtime then of course I would offer some sandwich around. But I'd be inwardly annoyed that they hadn't planned ahead enough to foresee the need for food/couldn't be arsed, as an adult, and were using some of mine.

Kids really should have learned not to ask others for food by that age, OP. So rude.

Dear Mumsnetters,

you are defending a sausage roll.

I remember when it was all dial up around here and a froot shoot and a Gregg's sausage roll were thought of as the excretia of the devil, and anyone feeding their child such was instantly sent to netmums.

Can we all go back to clutching our pearls and hoisting our collective bosom at a child eating in public, and forget about this sharing bullshit?

Thanks awfully, yours locked in a different age,

TTTP

PS if anyone is about to post 'sausage rolls have rights too' they can FO.

In that case when she is forcing your ds to do something, if your dd is being forced into doing something.....you step in!

No idea what the opposite of Helicopter parenting in but it would be you. Why let an adult push your dd into doing something?

A sausage roll which, instead of being shared, was mostly binned! Where are all those who don't believe in food wastage?!

Yes, mad l'm with you on the type of food. Good point.
I work mainly with dry goods. In easy to share shapes and textures.
We don't do one big vat of homus