To think this isn't quite right?

[Allisgood1]

Dd (6) in the park after school the other day. She has two best friends, and the backstory (which I won't get into too much) is that one friend has a helicopter mum and has gradually been driving a wedge between not only our relationships but also the 3 girls seem to be playing less and less together.

Anyway, other day helicopter mums (HM) dd had a massive sausage roll. My dd and other friend asked if they could have some. Friend turned to HM and said "do I have to?" And HM said "only if you want". Well she decided that actually she didn't want to. In the end the roll was far too large for her to finish but she still refused to share it and HM said "why didn't you bring a snack?"

Is it me or should we be encouraging our children to share?

Size of your arm hahaha. Come on OP. Slight exaggeration surely! [Grin]

BUT this is going to be one of those AIBU that is almost unanimous that the OP refuses to believe and goes on to add more and more points that she thinks backs up her point when it really doesn't

Yep

In similar situations my child shares. I don't make her, she chooses to. And good on her. And no, I don't for a second judge the kid who asked (unless it's an unknown kid).

And FYI, HM was off to helicopter her other DC who wasn't in the park. Can't helicopter two kids at once

I would love to see an arm sized sausage roll TBF.

I think you've misunderstood the term 'helicopter parent'.

i think i'd rather be friends with the hm [hideous expression by the way] than the poster, she has a a bit of an attitude imo.

My daughter is six. I wouldn't get food out for her without expecting her to share.
Of course you do.
Especially in the situation op has explained about today.
A fuck off sized sausage roll? All for one six year old? No, wouldn't fly here either!
YANBU
YANBU
YANBU

I really truly wonder, why, so many people are so blooming selfish?

You sound like the woman from that thread who expected her friend to provide lunch children and got all huffy when she didn't.

At least by not sharing food they wont be sharing thread worms

FFS. Will someone be so kind as to explain what a helicopter parent is?

Sparkling that, for reasons known only to my brain, reminds me of an ex of mine who described his own penis as being 'The size of a baby's arm'. It was wrong on SO many levels.

I did not take up the offer of seeing this for myself.

For her children*

Good call Wide,

widehelicopter parenting -yuk- refers to a parent who constantly fusses around their child and in effect runs the show as to what the child does etc, they often come across a smothering types and reluctant to let their children have the freedom to make simple choices etc.

Helicopter parent is someone who constantly hovers over their child and micro manages their play and interactions with others.

NOT someone who encourages independent choices and is happy to leave their kid with other responsible adults whilst they go off to check another child.

I really think your misplaced annoyance at the sausage roll incident has more to do with your feelings towards your dd's friends mother - you don't like her very much do you OP?

Will someone be so kind as to explain what a helicopter parent is?

A Helicopter Parent is a parent who hovers around his or her child, like a helicopter. They try to control everything.

No, we're monkeys

We bring our own snacks.

Can you tell us where to get these arm size sausage rolls from please? DS would probably pass out in anticipation and you may lose your real arm if you went in for any!

I don't agree with children being told they must share everything. Adults are not expected to. Why are adults entitled to have ownership of an item but kids aren't?

Well I would expect my DC to share if the other DC didn't have any food.

I'm a bit perplexed at the reaction on this thread tbh.

So spicy, if you take a snack to the park, you expect to provide enough for everyone else's children? If I take a snack it's because my children will need one. I'd get quite irritated if other children kept scrounging it.

You don't tell your child they are sharing
You just say :"look a bit for you and some for (the friend)"
It is a piece of cake.
We all do it round here. Very middle class, and have read all the books!

My 5 year old and her friends are always sharing food in the playground. It always seems to be expected? Especially amongst good friends, when any allergies etc are known. So YANBU to expect them to share. YABU for the dismissive "helicopter parent" stuff although with the backstory you mention possibly you have good reasons for disliking this woman so much.

I love this thread.

A sausage roll the size of your arm

It is beneficial to a child's development to be allowed to make their own decisions and learn from the consequences of these decisions.

She chose not to share....maybe next time her friends won't share with her. Maybe next time she'll share, maybe not?

It is not the right choice to constantly force your child to share (or to behave in an 'adult' way in every situation).

Well little quite simply, yes.
What a performance some if you get in to.
I don't bring a buffet, just a small sharable snack.
I'm not alone in this.
Most parents are doing it too (as l said) it is a kind of mix n match!