School reports on Facebook

[WaltJunior]

I can't handle it! I'm not sure why I hate it so much I just cringe so badly
Aibu to think people should keep their child's report to themselves??

I understand when some people refer to their children's school reports because they are pleased that they have improved substantially when they were previously worried.
But unless it's meant jokingly, it is cringy and just showing off.

BTW, what's 'swot'?

For me it's strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I'd imagine the most common use.

Looking it up, it could be Student With Outstanding Talent, but it could also be: Stupid/Substantial Waste of Time. Or even Somewhere Out There.

Lweji a swot is someone who studies really hard at school. It is not generally used as a compliment.

Thanks. For some reason I thought it was an acronym. It makes sense.

My friend does this, 'so proud of X, brilliant report again'. What gets my goat is that X is a bully and incredibly manipulative and yet is viewed as the golden child.

Another who's not keen on this. There seemed to be quite a few when the children were YR/Y1, and sometimes some SATs results posted. I wouldn't share the results of my annual appraisals or associated rewards from work, so why would I post my kids' reports? I tell my children to their faces when I'm proud of them, not on FB.

I feel sorry for bullies. You see bullies are unhappy for some reason. Happy children are not unkind or mean. Unhappy children are usually unhappy because something is missing in their lives and that is generally unconditional parental love. Often it is because they are expected to perform to some standard so that their parents can boast about it and when they fall short of that expectation the parent makes their feelings known to the child and the poor child feels unhappy and that makes them bully other children in order to have an outlet for their unhappy feelings. Possibly the parent has done some public boasting on, say, Facebook and so feels embarrassed if child doesn't meet the standards they require for their own glory. So they need their child to save their face by continuing to perform. The child's performance becomes a mirror for their parents to bask in the reflected glory. So poor Little Billy or Little Janey become unhappy. They want their mummy and daddy to love them just for being Billy or Janey, not because they have a good school report or because they have come top of the class.

I tell my DCs to feel sorry for the bullies as they are poor, sad, unhappy children whose parents expect too much of them and who don't love them enough to just accept them as they are.

Another thing that strikes me...

Time and again I read on MN that many people have on their friend lists work colleagues who they don't like, neighbours they don't like, MILs friend who they don't like, school parents they don't like etc, but they accept their friend requests because they feel 'awkward' rejecting them (understandable actually).

So not only are they taking the decision to document their children's private lives, photos and school reports on the internet, but they're often exposing their children's privacy (or what should be their privacy) to people that even the parents don't even like??!!

And don't start me on the amount of threads I've read from MNetters who don't even understand the most basic of FB privacy rules.

Again, I'm bloody glad I was a child of the 70s and 80s and all I had to worry about was my Mum getting the embarrassing family album out when family/friends came to visit.

Glittery7 Fri 10-Jul-15 20:15:28
I have a child with moderate special needs and ASD. Proud FB reports make me sad, bitter and jealous.

THIS!

I don't like this either. I get the parents are proud of their kids and such but I could never post the actual report on fb for everyone to read, surely no one else is that interested. I never read any and just scroll past.

I'm trying to decide how I feel about a communication between me and the child's parents being photographed and displayed on the internet for anyone to see.

I was about to post a similar thing! Do people not realise the only people who care about your child's school report are you and your child and possible your close family/friends? The only person who needs to know how proud I am of my son is my son.

All the reports are broadly the same. I have twins and know. Teachers routinely use a Whimsical Child/Spirited Child Venn diagram to sort the kids in their class and then have a few report templates associated with each flavour of child.

I like seeing people proud of their kids though. And my daughter loves it when I boast about her on Facebook. She's always begging me to take her photo and put it up. I often oblige. My twins are naughty teens and it is harder to boast on FB about weed habits and truancy so I am making the most of my youngest's salad days.

Panzee I would not be happy.

I think if I was a teacher I imagine Id be pretty outraged.

Amazes me that folk just think it's ok.

YABU. Why shouldn't people share that they're proud of their children?

I cannot bear it for the reason it is stealth boasting, a PP mentioned reflected glory. People post about it to make themselves oil better, it's not about the children at all.

Have a friend that posts not only school reports but certificates and reports from all the extra curricular activities her dc does, makes me want to block her even though she is lovely :(

Sumoweeble I have no report templates. The only things that might sound similar are what the child can do, e.g. Count in 10s, write stories in chapters, etc, as this is from their assessment data. But I do not use any kind of template and my personal comments are exactly that.

Oh, and it's not boasting.

My two DSs both struggle at school in different ways. They both had beautiful reports that made me well up with pride because it showed just how hard they are trying to overcome their difficulties. I'm as equally proud of them as my two DDs who breeze through. So I told my friends (and my family who live hundreds of miles away) how proud I am of them all. No bragging.

I like to see FB posts about school reports. It's not cringey at all.

But it's not our right to as its nothing we have done. Just as I wouldn't dream of putting feedback from DH's appraisal from work.

I occasionally tell my family and friends (via fb) of my children's achievements. I have one child who would be considered bright and sporty and one with M/SLD who also loves sport at her own level. I am equally proud of what they achieve as they do the best they can according to their ability. The people I share this with are those who understand that these 2 kids both have ADHD and that we have worked hard as a family to harness their incredible energy and make it work in their favour.

I hope any friends and family who would be offended would just block the posts (they aren't frequent anyway).

I use fb as a diary, so I like to have milestones and achievements on there!

YANBU although I haven't seen any reports on my Facebook feed. I know my children wouldn't like it at all if I put things on social media.
We are a nation of over sharers I think! And although I like to hear good news about friends and their kids I prefer to hear it when I see or talk to them!

Twas tongue in cheek, Panzee. However, many teachers and schools do have templates or reuse the same phrases over and over. I had reports ranging from broadly similar to identical for my twins all through primary and for a lot of secondary too.

I'm afraid some do Panzee, either that or a massive coincidence word for word

Crass - both DDs pretty good at school. I'll FB group messenger immediate family only and prepare for the onslaught of public boasting announcements!