School reports on Facebook

[WaltJunior]

I can't handle it! I'm not sure why I hate it so much I just cringe so badly
Aibu to think people should keep their child's report to themselves??

YABU if it's an objection to comments about being proud of your child, children with SEN get school reports to be proud of as well.
YANBU if it's bragging about levels and so on.

My DN got a 'glowing report' according to his head teacher but also has severe SEN. Good reports aren't the preserve of the academically able. For him, he'd made massive progress even if it was way below the level of all the others.

They post the whole report OP ?

Wow...

I mentioned well done to my child, because they are leaving Primary this month. Whole reports posted ? YANBU.

4ever is spot on.

DS has SEN but I am still very proud of his report.

Very few of my fb friends post report comments.

One did until last year. Would quite like to know if someone told her that it was cringy(she went full n the "so proud of mummy's lil princess for amazing reports") or the reports weren't amazing last year, or whether someone pointed out that the comment she posted the previous year was a barely veiled was of saying "gobby and rude". It's funny because she's not like that in real life, or most f the time. But parents' evenings and reports always got gushing praise on fb until last year.

The only one I've had give results (and dd2 is year 6 so we could have had a lot) the results are good, but not brilliant, but I know she will have worked really hard for them, so no one could mind that.

I had some pretty good reports when I was a kid but if my parents had published them publicly (because that's what putting them on Facebook is) I would have been mortified, knowing that friends MIGHT have read them, or worse parents of friends or just people that I didn't know. Think how you would feel if your manager at work posted your appraisal publicly on Facebook to tell the world how pleased she was with you.

In RL my children hate me telling anyone of their achievements in their presence. I used to be boastful when my first DD was young and luckily my DH pulled me up on it and told me to stop. So I did. Best thing I did. Because when comes the time that things don't go so well (and believe me there will be those times ahead) then others are sympathetic because you've never boasted. In fact, when things have not gone so well for my very clever, bright, sporty, arty, beautiful DD () it has been humbling to have received unsolicited support from other parents. On the other hand when one girl at DD's school who has herself always been boastful and loud and her DM is the most competitive mother I know, didn't receive any prizes or cups at leavers' prizegiving (because school finally recognised her 'upward managing style' ie sucking up abilities) it was blissful to watch both their faces afterwards.

If your DCs are clever and bright and above national average then that's great. Enjoy the moment privately with close family members as they may not be right up there when they hit GCSEs and A Levels since children all develop at different times. Sometimes the very clever ones at 8 are not the best at 18. If you boast when they are young then others will, unfortunately, be pleased at any downward trend in later life.

I can cringe when on timehop it came up how proud I was my DS was the first in his class to get a book with words in when he was in recpetion...In my defense I did not have any parents on FB at the time. I was very proud but but learnt there is a time and a place to share these things.

I can say from school reports here .. we al got some stock statements one parent complained that their child had enjoyed a trip however their child was off sick that day..

Whenever my kids complain about boastful and pushy kids at school I always think 'well look at their parents'. If you are going to post the good reports then you need to also post the not-so-good reports (when they inevitably come) otherwise your DCs will think you only love them when they are doing well. When in fact we all love them all the time, don't we? Through the highs AND the lows?

Having said that, if any friend whose child has an SEN then I whoop with joy when they post updates about their child's achievements, because that really IS an achievement. I am truly happy for them and am delighted that they have shared that massive footstep.

I hate this. Some people at our school did it last year, and they were, without exception, the insanely competitive parents, and it wasn't even dressed up as anything but overt bragging.

I love DS1's school, but the one downside is the open competitiveness among a large cohort of parents. One mother in our class even had to be collared by the teacher and told, in front of everyone, to please put her child's school report away and stop reading it out to all the other parents outside the classroom!

I'd be more than happy to read about a specific achievement by a child who has been struggling, or has just worked really hard to improve. But the people who I've seen posting report details all have fairly bright children, and they are all fighting to prove who is 'top of the class.'

I might make something up and post it, just to send everyone into a tailspin. 'So excited about DS1's Y1 report. So glad the teacher agreed to send him to work with the year 6s for maths. It's really paid off. And such a shame there aren't more than three volumes of Lord of the Rings. He just whizzed through it. Maybe I should give him The Silmarillion next.'

I also heard a quite funny conversation at an out-of-school activity the other day. One parent blatantly pretending not to understand how the levels worked (she has 2 older children, so very unlikely to not have figured it out by now) and asking other parents to explain why her year 2 child had 2as for some things and 3s for most things, and did the 3s mean she wasn't doing well.

My eldest is Y1 and I've heard enough chat about levels to understand broadly how it works!

OK, I've just asked my 14yo DS what he would think if I posted his report on Facebook (a report we are very proud of). He gave me a horrified look and said "NO! Why would I want you to do that?". When I asked him "Why not?" he said "I don't want people to know how well I'm doing, it's none of their business!"

Just because your DCs are not old enough to understand the repercussions of their privacy being violated by you (remember you don't 'own' your children) does not mean that it is okay to violate their privacy.

Facebook is not a private space even if you think it is. It isn't. Everything you post is owned by Facebook and they have rights to it.

Well I sent photos of my pfb's report from reception class to my SIL and my brother - by whatsapp rather than fb. And they are both primary school teachers who requested last year's from nursery so probably were as much interested in phrases they can use for next year's report as how well he's doing. It's a fair trade, they can tell me what the report really means ;-)

Cringey crap like that is why I don't have Facebook

I might make something up and post it, just to send everyone into a tailspin. 'So excited about DS1's Y1 report. So glad the teacher agreed to send him to work with the year 6s for maths. It's really paid off. And such a shame there aren't more than three volumes of Lord of the Rings. He just whizzed through it. Maybe I should give him The Silmarillion next.

Do it Kungfu, but remember to add in his grade 8 harp and world record egg and spoon race result.

I personally love the braggers who trip themselves up months after posting "little Billy has excelled himself at the blindfolded pole vault, new world record set" then six months later they're moaning that "Little Billy is really struggling to get to grips with the Pole vault"...

Little Billy is really struggling to get to grips with the Pole vault".

I love hearing about children of friends who have been struggling in school and have made progress. That makes me happy for them. If your child is top of the class again this year... no, not interested.

Here here Itk.

Where are all the "I love posting my DC's report on Facebook - what's wrong with it" posters gone?

They have a life outside mn? A radical thought I know

They're all busy on Facebook, trying to work out whose deleted them

Unlikely. Tbh I would have wished that the person who was pissed off with my comment would have just deleted me rather than bitch about it on the thread. But hey ho that is life. Has made me question the whole concept of friends on a day when bigger issues has destroyed me.

Actually to be fair they didn't bitch they just stated it was done. But still, if you don't want to see it hide or delete. You don't have to see it.

I have finally heard it all - school reports on FB. Time to move to a new planet.

Chipped wait till little Billy becomes a teenager and takes up smoking dope, drinking to excess and engaging in underage sex. Bet mummy amd daddy won't post that on FB.

I can see it now "Little Billy rolls a mean joint"!

People actually post photos of their children's reports on FB, wow. Never seen that thank goodness. Some people make irritating comments about how proud they are but never seen a child actual report.

Mine primary age kids are in private school and the reports are pages long and ridiculously detailed. They are also honest, warts and all and if the child is not doing well they don't dress it up and there's no copy and pasting.

DD's Xmas report was mediocre at best and extremely honest. She took note and her summer report was outstanding, I've genuinely never read anything like it but I wouldn't dream of posting about it because, you know what, there might be another parent on my FB page whose child has the same fairly rubbish report DD got at Xmas and the last thing I would want to do would be to make them feel as shit as I did when I saw it