School reports on Facebook

[WaltJunior]

I can't handle it! I'm not sure why I hate it so much I just cringe so badly
Aibu to think people should keep their child's report to themselves??

Threads like this make me want to know who some people on mn are, so I can find out if I know them in real life to allow me to delete and block.

I'd really hate to think that any of my friends were so sneering and bitchy.

I will post about my dcs achievements, with their permission. I did once, post a photo of my eldest dcs yr5 naplan results, as it showed him to be massively above school and state average, and I was just so amazed and proud, and wanted to show all my friends and family overseas (we are in Aus). It was met with happiness and congratulations for my dc. I didn't notice anyone delete me, but if they were sneering or rolling their eyes I absolutely hope they did.

I really don't understand why some mners bother with Facebook as they clearly dislike half of their 'friends'

wherethefuck you need to get thicker skin.

My skin is plenty thick enough, I just don't want any two faced, sneery friends, and will happily get rid. That's not weak or thin skinned, it's proactive and just honest.

I would never do this.
It is tacky and thoughtless.

I totally agree with previous posters concerned about over sharing and the effects on children as they grow up. I feel the same way about some 'mummy' bloggers who share every detail of their children's lives online. Awful.

me too Ejzuudjej. I'll be interested to see what the children of "mummy bloggers" have to say in say, 15 years.

wheregood luck with that, ha! how are you going to know who they are? you won't know. it's that simple.

anyway, i'm guilty of doing this at least once - kid aced one of those stupid standardized tests and i boasted about it on FB. totally fair for some peopole to think I'm an idiot.

*I sometimes wonder how parents would feel if they found their kids sharing their private business on the internet?

Imagine 'that photo'...you know the one where you actually looked fantastic but the camera was at the wrong angle, and as you leant forward or raised your arms, a roll of fat was visible or deep stretch marks for example.

Imagine if your kids posted about the private argument you had with your DH the night before, or if they shared the fact that you're worried about where the next meal will come from before pay day.

Does the thought make you cringe? If so, it's probably because you've lost control of everything that you deemed private and behind closed doors.

Just like many, many children today.* Too right.

Thanks to the power of Facebook I now know that the 'personal comments' written about my DD (which almost made me cry with happiness) were used, word for bloody word, on her best friends report too.

Me and DP went from elated to deflated in a millisecond- not in terms of DD's effort but the teacher has lost a lot of credibility I'm sorry to say.

Why can't people share & show they are proud of their child? I mention how mine are doing on fb because I have family in the UK (I am in Oz) and they like to hear how we are all doing.

If you don't like it, you don't have to do it. But stop trying to tell everyone else what they can & can't do!!

why would anyone care?! Well, I have people on my FB who DO care. If people don't care about my family & how we are doing, they are not on my facebook! I don't add people for numbers, I add them because I like/love/am related to them & want to share in what they are doing.

differentnameforthis I choose not to for a myriad of reasons but here's a major one - my niece has complex special needs and my sister is going through a very difficult time with her at the moment. Another friend's son has recently been arrested and is currently walking a dangerous path. My friend is in knots about it.
These are just the people I know about who are having a tough time with their kids.
Posting about how well DS is doing would feel like bragging and yes, they probably would be happy for me, but I would feel like I was sticking the boot in and being an arse. Not something I'm prepared to do.

I love nosing at the reports. We don't get long reports here in America so I miss that.y kids just get grades.

I don't buy the excuse that you need to post on FB because you or friends and family live abroad. My family live abroad and I manage to keep them updated without posting every moment of our DCs on FB. There are other methods of communicating things privately to those most important to you. How about an email? Oh no but wait, there's no like button is there

Ejzuudjej Then don't do it...but that doesn't mean others can't!

FWIW, none of my friends would think I am being an arse & vice versa. No one being proud of their kids is being an arse.

It comes back to people not "being allowed to discuss" anything, doesn't it...if you are having a termination, fine, but don't share it because plenty of women can't get pregnant.

We can't live our lives holding in the good stuff in case someone isn't feeling the same.

shebird Nothing to do with like buttons, I'll communicate how I like, thanks!

It's not about not being allowed to discuss things. If you want to share every intimate detail of your life on FB, then that's your choice. My issue is with people posting every single detail of your child's life on FB because the child has no control over this. As parents we are responsible for protecting our children, allowing them privacy and freedom to grow up without fear if being judged or laughed at. I'm not talking the occasional photo or comment, but those who over share and just have no respect for their child's right to privacy.

It comes back to people not "being allowed to discuss" anything, doesn't it...if you are having a termination, fine, but don't share it because plenty of women can't get pregnant.

HA, nice try.

My FB friends sometimes brag about their kids - sure. But putting your kid's whole school report on FB? Hi-larious. Though if some of my FB friends decided to do that, I'd be highly entertained (and feel sorry for their kid)

I'm a bit torn on this. It is irritating when some people constantly bang on about their kids' academic achievements and it does make me feel a bit :-(, especially as I have 2 kids with SEN. However, I am immensely proud of my eldest right now. He just got a lovely report and his year 6 SATS results (straight Level 4s, having only got Level 1 in year 2). I'm well aware that a large proportion of the year got Level 5 and above (very academic school) and he's still virtually bottom of the class. I was tempted to post but thought people would feel I was "playing the SEN card". But I think I might now.......

Btw, not seen anyone post the actual report though!

How did we ever mangage to celebrate kids achievements before FB?

I have a lovely otherwise friend who asks me how dd has done and then makes a comment of 'ah well all kids are different and not everyone can have a Gifted &Talentented child. She will then write on social how proud and blessed she is her gifted child has surpassed all goals and achieved level x . Mine has SN and its a kick in the teeth. She is otherwise the best friend you could have.

Actually I don't particularly like it (nor do I like the half angst posts , victim posts that invite you to come & ask). I think it is probably just not very British....I don't think we generally walk up to someone in the street & say do you know what my kid is the best....I think it probably is a cultural mismatch, which is why I don't like it.

I'm another one who thinks that bragging and boasting doesn't come into it- its an invasion of your child's privacy. You are creating a digital background for them that they may not want, so many things wrong with it I cant even begin.

I have friends who write about their children on facebook like they would wrote about a new car, or phone, or house or one of their other 'possessions'.

I'll be looking forward to seeing what happens when the children of these facebook over share mums grow up, and realise that proud mummy has plastered them all over the internet from literally day one.

It's all about promoting people's Facebook life versus their real life. Why the need for all this constant personal PR campaign? In my experience is that the friends that gush the most on FB about their amazing life, hubbie, talented kids etc are the ones that are actually the most miserable in real life. Turns out fab hubbie is a raging alcoholic and fab talented DC has been bullying other kids

shebird Sat 11-Jul-15 07:19:09
How did we ever mangage to celebrate kids achievements before FB?

Celebrate achievements. Oh god no, can't do that it is not very british. One must never openly celebrate achievements or allow one's child to think that it is acceptable to accelerate above average. Not the done thing.

I agree with not posting the whole thing, and the fact that it is also not great to post grades but high flyers are still badly bullied in this country for being different and geeky. There is little celebration of their talents. This balance needs to be readdressed it is damaging. But fb is not the best way to do that. Won't stop primary school bullying. But we do need to change the self depreciation thing that is seen as the done thing.

My kids are G&T. It doesn't stop me realising their marks are not what family / friends are interested in. My FB reads along the lines: Another school report, another year over already. Glad they're enjoying it and so proud of their efforts. Or: They're happy, I'm happy, teachers happy - time for the holidays (!)
Specific asks about levels leave me to be honest.

YANBU. There's no need to share reports on Facebook. It's a private document belonging to the child and their parents/carers. The only other people we share reports with are the GP's as they spend time with the DC over the holidays and like to know where they are academically.

It's about time we started treating children with the respect they deserve and stopped plastering every detail of their lives onto social media without their permission. If you're proud then fine. Phone up family to tell them.