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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be think the head teacher is wrong (TT holiday)

209 replies

Thancred · 09/07/2015 16:34

We've booked a week long holiday for mid-September. I filled in a leave request form at school citing the reasons for the absence. DH can't get any leave until September, they have a lot of term time workers so the year round staff aren't allowed to take more than one or two days off in school holidays unless it's an emergency/sickness. In addition to this we have a DC with ASD who cannot cope with how busy everywhere is in school holidays, even day trips in school holidays are a nightmare if it's somewhere too busy or loud so he ends up miserable or melting down and we have to come home early - a week of that without the option of escaping back home would be horrid for him. So we made the decision that the only way we will get a family holiday is to go in TT when it is quieter and when DH can get the time off work.

We've had a letter back from the head this afternoon and she has rejected it outright. I rang up to discuss it and she has said she does not consider any of it to be a good enough reason. I explained about the ASD issues and her response was "that's life, if xxx can't cope with in the school holidays then don't go".

I've rang the LEA for advice and they've stated that under their guidance it would be classed as exceptional circumstances but they can't overturn the heads decision so we will probably be passed over to them for a fine to be issued.

AIBU to be annoyed at the head? Does anyone know if fines can be appealed once issued?

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 22:17

Italiangreyhound said it so much better than I could...

But it really pisses me off when people say 'its free so you should abide by the rules' It isn't 'free'- we pay for it with our taxes! Only to be shafted by fines when we want to take our kids out for a weeks holiday, and nannied by the education authorities about when our kids should be in school- like we can't decide for ourselves if its worth them missing a few days or not. Its a pathetic money- making ploy by the government to squeeze money out of parents by issuing fines to punish them for making a decision about their own child/ families.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:18

italian how do you think schools and classes would operate if everyone just decided to take their children out of school for holidays whenever they felt like it? Would you expect the school to tutor each child individually in the topics they had missed while away? Or perhaps just tutor each child individually from the start, that way holidays at random times could be built into each child's personal timetable.

And whilst I agree that there are many things other than the three rs which contribute to a well rounded education, a package holiday is not likely to broaden anyone's horizons.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:19

bialy unless you've changed name my comment wasn't addressed to you

bialystockandbloom · 09/07/2015 22:20

This thread is a perfect example of what was meant by the OP in this recent one

It really is attitudes like some of those displayed here that make people with SN, or parents of dc with SN, feel outsiders.

Having a disability does not mean you are outside society. It also does not mean exactly the same rules necessarily apply. Equal does not mean being the same. Mainstream rules do not necessarily apply to children in mainstream schools, just because they are in those schools. That's the purpose of inclusion.

Why the hell shouldn't the OP start this thread, just because it's in AIBU and related to SN?

bialystockandbloom · 09/07/2015 22:21

Um.. isn't that the nature of public forums? If you wanted a private one-to-one with the OP do it by PM.

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:22

Is there now a special MN rule that says you can't respond to a comment if it's not aimed directly at you?

ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 22:22

how do you think schools and classes would operate if everyone just decided to take their children out of school for holidays whenever they felt like it?

Well- they don't. When I was at school, parents were responsible enough to realise that their children needed to be in school, and only took them out for holidays if it absolutely couldn't be avoided- it rarely happened.

People are able to make choices themselves in the best interests of their children (which I believe the OP is doing here)- they dont need to be nurse- maided by the authorities.

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:23

Agree with your post of 22.20 Bial. The sheer ignorance and unwillingness to learn with regards to SN displayed by some posters on this thread is breathtaking.

ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 22:24

Kardamyli Do you actually think that the majority of parents can't be trusted to ensure their children go to school without the LA fining them if they don't?

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:25

bialy anyone who posts in AIBU can hardly complain if they get some responses that say yes YABU! if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

bialystockandbloom · 09/07/2015 22:28

kardamyli yes but such responses only deserve to be taken seriously when they're reasonable and thoughtful in themselves.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:29

ollie I said nothing of the kind. It is italian who was suggesting holidays to suit parents.

This thread is getting tedious, I gave my opinion on a thread in AIBU which is now clearly a Mumsnet crime.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:30

Have a Biscuit bialy

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:32

Yes there's definitely a select few that use the reputation of AIBU in order to behave as obnoxiously and aggressively as possible, that much is true. Luckily though it doesn't go unchallenged and mostly the eternal whine of "it's AIBU don't post here if you can't hack it" is met with the derision it deserves.

In short if you're a decent person you shouldn't need or want a platform to go to where you get to behave like a complete arsehole. That's just my opinion though.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:35

If only there were less whiney passive aggressive people on mumsnet and in the world in general things would be so much better, in my opinion.

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:35

bialy your measured and intelligent responses are wasted here I fear. Once the biscuit has been used there's really no need to take that particular poster seriously.

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:36

I'm thinking you don't really understand what passive aggressive means......

ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 22:39

I'm sorry Kardamyli but from reading the thread you are the one being 'whiney' going on about free education and abiding by the rules- not everyone fits those rules 100% of the time!

Dowser · 09/07/2015 22:40

Since when do children only learn between the hours of 9 and 3.
It's just ridiculous.

Children learn all the time and not just at a school desk either.

And when teachers go on strike...do you all demand compensation for the precious hours missed.

It works both ways..

So pleased my daughter home ed's she has none of this stupid hassle.

Stitchintime1 · 09/07/2015 22:40

I'd have got the okay first. However, can't you just pay the fine? That's what everybody else does.

Kardamyli · 09/07/2015 22:40

Oh dear! I've been in the wrong place all along. I thought mumsnet was a public forum where (slightly) bored people came to air their (mostly) trivial problems and musings and have a bit of a laugh. I had no idea it was all to be taken so super seriously. My mistake, in future I will ever disagree with anything another poster says or air an opinion that goes against the majority.

bialystockandbloom · 09/07/2015 22:43

Thanks nicki

First biscuit I think I've ever got on MN Grin

Kardamyli I really do not want to get into a bunfight. I am trying to explain how having SN does (or at least, should) sometimes mean mainstream rules do not necessarily apply. There are many, many examples of this I could list if you're interested - but I suspect you're not. If you really don't want to know, then fine - see ya.

NickiFury · 09/07/2015 22:43

Oh that's not really necessary. Just don't be rude and ignorant where children with additional needs are concerned and you'll get on fine Smile.

ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 22:43

Dowser Threads like this make me so happy we have chosen to home ed our DC too.

But I hate that parents with kids in school are subject to this nannying bullshit

Kardamyli Now you are the one who needs this Biscuit

bialystockandbloom · 09/07/2015 22:44

Oh god, I'm probably about to be accused of being professionally offended aren't I Wink