to be think the head teacher is wrong (TT holiday)

[Thancred]

We've booked a week long holiday for mid-September. I filled in a leave request form at school citing the reasons for the absence. DH can't get any leave until September, they have a lot of term time workers so the year round staff aren't allowed to take more than one or two days off in school holidays unless it's an emergency/sickness. In addition to this we have a DC with ASD who cannot cope with how busy everywhere is in school holidays, even day trips in school holidays are a nightmare if it's somewhere too busy or loud so he ends up miserable or melting down and we have to come home early - a week of that without the option of escaping back home would be horrid for him. So we made the decision that the only way we will get a family holiday is to go in TT when it is quieter and when DH can get the time off work.

We've had a letter back from the head this afternoon and she has rejected it outright. I rang up to discuss it and she has said she does not consider any of it to be a good enough reason. I explained about the ASD issues and her response was "that's life, if xxx can't cope with in the school holidays then don't go".

I've rang the LEA for advice and they've stated that under their guidance it would be classed as exceptional circumstances but they can't overturn the heads decision so we will probably be passed over to them for a fine to be issued.

AIBU to be annoyed at the head? Does anyone know if fines can be appealed once issued?

The head has seen through what exactly orangejuice? Do you mean to suggest that the OP is exaggerating her child's issues in order to get a cheap holiday? That they're not a real problem needing allowances to be made? I really hope you're not because you'd be sailing very close to disablism with that kind of statement otherwise.

Just be honest. You want a holiday, a cheap holiday at a time convenient for you.

Actually I'd rather go in August. Due to the nature of my work the school holidays are far more convenient me bit I don't always get to do what I want to do as I have other members of my family to think of.

Are you always so rude or do you save it specially for the Internet?

That should read "far more convenient for me"

Right it's not actually disabilism to suggest that if a child is in main stream school the parents should stick within the rules of that school.

The first few days back are when the other children will be all excitable. That is not the week the OP's son is missing. He's missing time when the other children will have calmed down already but apparently will still need to be removed from the situation.

It doesn't make sense. If a child is having real issues with it, you work with the, not fly them abroad.

Well you seem intent on going, but do you expect the teachers to put in any extra effort to catch up whatever your ds has missed out on, because that would not be fair to them.

Sadly, it IS just about OFSTED and league tables, rather than your child's education these days, theTrouble and we have sadly all fallen for the official, Draconian line that it's a terrible thing to do, you will affect your child's future FOR EVER, and similar bollocks. Go on holiday and have a grrat time, see what transpires re the fines. You might be lucky.

I'm afraid I disagree. Accusing a parent of lying about a child's issues when they have a diagnosed condition such as ASD shows at best shocking and offensive ignorance and at worst your disbelief and dismissal is clear disablism.

In YOUR opinion children with ASD would do better by not going away in the first few weeks of term. How many children with ASD do you know? I know at least fifty and they're ALL different. It's impossible to say what fits each individual child with ASD.

You're posts are attacking and offensive. I struggle to understand why you'd be like that given the information provided by the OP regarding her challenging situation.

No it doesn't make sense. It's a very 'weak' argument. Other children not being calm enough indeed!

Is the Head being disabilist too then? As they seem to have said the exact same thing?

If your reasons behind going at this time are genuine and it's not a cost saving exercise, surely the fine is irrelevant? You're now just paying roughly the same as those who had the opportunity to go during August and who had to pay the premium to go during the summer holidays. If cost isn't really a consideration I don't get why you're bothered.

Yes orangejuice I would say she is.

Leeds Council will fine you for 5 days but not 4 1/2 days.

The actual quote from our school is

"...penalty notices being given for unauthorised absence of children who are five years and over, of 5 days or more in any period of 12 consecutive weeks"

We took the fine, £240. Two children, two parents. We weren't allowed to decide when we took that holiday either due to DH's work, it was go or don't go again for 2 years. We went.

So basically you think it's ok for parents to pick at choose which points of main stream education they fancy?

Is in fair non Christian children need to spend the week before Christmas doings nativity plays etc? Maybe they should be allowed to opt out if they become distressed by it?

Disablist because she won't bow down to someone's request?

nicki you seem to be taking enjoyment of bandying the term disablist around but really, all you are doing is contributing to it losing it's impact.

They often do opt out I believe. Certainly a few Muslim children at dd's school do not take part in religious activities.

It sounds as though special schools are more understanding in general when it comes to the needs of children with ASD. Would your DC be better going to a special school where his needs are more understood? I understand that your DC may be well settled at school but it may be worth the move if schools in the long run.

DDs school haven't authorised holidays for years. In our LA you get a fine if you have more than twenty unauthorised sessions in two terms. Sessions are half days, two sessions is one school day.
Just check with the LA on the guidance they are using as it's exactly that..... Guidance.
In theory I can take my DD for two weeks holiday in a term of an academic year and take her in the same term the following year and there's not a single thing the school or LA can do (as long as she doesn't have additional unauthorised time off school and the unauthorised absence/holidays are two terms apart).

I work for my LA so know how the system here works. Unfortunately there's no cheap holidays for me as I work term time! My holidays are currently once every 5 years and take an awful lot of saving for.

Both special schools AND private schools are more sympathetic to term time holidays. The parents I know who send their children to private school remove them when they wish and in the main are sensible about it. There doesn't seem to be the same concerns regarding the potential ruination of their children's education.

YABU

No one has a right to a holiday. It's a "nice to have", not a neccessity (believe me, I haven't had one since having kids - 6.5 years and counting) . If you're taking your child out of school in term time - which I massively disagree with, as it's showing your child that it's fine to break rules - then you suck up the fine.

Thanred re The beginning of the school year is awful for him, everyone else settling in and their various behaviours throws him off, he doesn't usually settle until nearer the end of the month once everyone else has calmed down. THIS is why parents need to make vital choices, you know what works for your child . I was told the same when my newly adopted son started school. That everyone else not knowing where they fitted in would be harder for him. Better for him to join school once things had settled, as a one off in reception. This was told to me by specialist in attachment in relation to adoption surprise, surprise, the head teacher wanted him to start in September. Even though he was only just four and newly adopted. (no surprises, he did not start until January part-time and not full time until June, he has caught up, made friends and is very happy!)

TheTroubleWithAngels, personally I think it is very unreasonable we do not trust parents to take their kids out for a short holiday of a week or two in term time. I am not arguing for unlimited holidays!

In Sweden and many other countries kids do not start doing the reading work our kids do at 4, until they are 6. Something like 60 weeks or 300 days later. Yet amazingly these children quickly catch up and many (most) are bilingual. The idea that being in a classroom a lot of the time = a good education is not something I agree with, but I am not advocating for unlimited time off!

Well - the head can't physically stop you from going. Your reasons stated don't include wanting the holiday to be cheaper, so presumably the fact that it will be cheaper is just a happy by-product - therefore why not just suck up the fine?

I think this is a bit of a non-issue. You won't be any worse off than going in high season and paying more, and your son will be much better for it. I don't agree with TT holidays but if you're adamant it's necessary, it is achievable...

Great posts Italian you make a lot of sense