To be really angry with each and everyone of you who has ever moaned about being 'fat'

[Lookatwhatyouvedone]

I have daughters. I've worked for years at nurturing their self esteem, reassuring them. Loving them.

Still makes feck all difference to the voices in their heads that tell them that thin and flat, or better still non-existent, is beautiful and having curves is ugly. They are a normal weight. They exercise. They eat sensibly. They aren't happy with their shape. And I think it's all your fault. All of you. Every single one of you who's ever obsessed about your thighs or your tummy or your boobs. Ever single one of you who's bought in to the lie that we can never quite be good enough, could always lose a few pounds, tone a few inches.
Look at what you've done and you still keep doing it. Fat is the demon, thin is the goddess and not a thought for the destruction done. How many threads on here asking how you can reduce yourselves. Not because you actually want to but because you think you should. But it doesn't just harm you does it? It harms all of us and our daughters and our daughters not even born. We talk about the pressure society puts on women but that's bollocks. We are society and we do it to ourselves. You don't talk about being healthy, you talk about being thin.

I am so angry, SO ANGRY, that what I say can't outweigh the damage you've all done. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be sensible and reasonable and calm and not like this but tonight I'm bloody angry.

[BastardGoDarkly]

Did you join just to shout at us?

[HoldYerWhist]

You signed up just to spout this shit then you disappear?



It's not even low fat.

[Olddear]

What just happened there!

[breadstixandhommus]

NickAngel I am pretty certain that that was the intention.....write an offensive OP then lets us get on with it.

[Allofaflumble]

Can't believe just how few people understand the OP. Very unpleasant bullying.

[Baguettes]

[coffeeisnectar]

I am fat and need to lose weight because it's not healthy being this overweight.

So yabvvvvu.

[Baguettes]

How exactly are we supposed to understand the OP, flumble?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

YABU

[ToysRLuv]

While I understand you, OP, you are being a bit unfair. Also, eating disorders have a lot to do with sense if control, and often the only things children/teenagers can fully control is how much and what they eat. Anorexia has been around for a loong time, disguised as religious fasting, so body image is not the only factor. It is so about issues of shame, greed, sexuality, etc. Very complex..

[Stinkersmum]

Allofafluamble go listen to some Meghan Trainor and eat some , I'm sure you'll get over it.

[Mistigri]

You're hitting out at the wrong target.

Preteens and teenagers are far more influenced by peers and the media than by other adults around them.

My 14 year old struggles with (under)weight and body image. Everyone else in our family is normal weight, we eat normally, no one counts calories, we don't own scales, personally I rather like my body having lived with it for 50 years.

And yet there are still voices in my daughter's head telling her that her size 4-6 thighs are too fat.

[StayWithMe]

To those saying that the OP is being bullied, well if feel like I've just been insulted and bullied by the OP and she doesn't know me or the reasons I feel the way I do. After all she posted her rant to all the 'women' on mn. Good job only 'women' worry about their weight.

Are you going to sympathise with any of the women, on here, with body issues OP, or are you just going to blame them for your daughters issues?

[ghostyslovesheep]

yes - it's very pleasant to start a thread slagging off everyone in an aggressive angry tone - how dare people react in a similar fashion

as the mother of 3 daughters I don't blame individuals brought up in this culture for falling for the bullshit - and I wouldn't rant at rave at people

the answer isn't with posters here (who are reacting to the exact same bullshit) but with the Daily Mail side bar of shame and the body obsessed celeb world

and a society that says it's okay to judge women on their looks alone

and if your daughters are moaning about their weight surely they are just as blame worthy?

[Ineedtimeoff]

I'm sorry that you've had a hard time on this thread and that so many posters have felt the need to be quite rude to you. I assume that they have felt offended by the tone of your op. Perhaps if you had expressed yourself differently you would have got different answers. If you had disguised your anger and wrote from a 'feminist' perspective, for example, you would have got different responses.

I understand that you are not talking about mumsnet but about women in general. That this is about the way we value ourselves as women. That we are more than just the curves that we have or don't have. I imagine that as the mother of teenage girls you must spend a lot of time reassuring them about their body image and trying to nurture their self-esteem and unfortunately as kids get older parental influence reduces and outside influences from peers and the media hold more sway.

Mumsnet can be a harsh place sometimes. I wish you and your girls well.

[Alchemist]

I haven't rtft but feel I should apologise.

For being female.

Sozzer and all that .

[Stinkersmum]

I don't ever recall my mother reassuring me about my height/weight/body shape etc. it was just never a subject or an issue. Maybe the OP needs to look closer to home.

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

Bullying the op my (fat) arse. There's no chance I'm actually believing op is for real to start with, even if I did, I will never take anyone seriously who feels the need to blame litrerally everyone around them for quite possibly their own failings.

[Baguettes]

Mumsnet is not 'harsh'. It simply treats those who show fuck all respect with fuck all respect in return.

[1Morewineplease]

Hmmm.... Why exactly are you angry? Are you obsessed with your weight? Are you overweight and struggled? Fat isn't good ... We all know that but people are overweight for many different reasons... Some medical and some psychological . You sound utterly obsessed with their weight and I suspect that they've picked up on that BIG TIME!!! It's YOUR fault for not sitting down with them and giving it to them straight! Do you read shit magazines? Do you follow the antics of celebrities? Are your children overweight? If you are level headed and serve up decent food then you wouldn't have an issue surely? Yes the media harps on about "the body perfect" but it's the MEDIA!!!! Not real life!!! We all come in different shapes and sizes and that's what you should be teaching your children.... Stop blaming everybody else!!!!.... They're YOUR children... Deal with them... Tell them that eating mung beans and nowt else is silly... Tell them that stick thin women in magazines are in magazines because they're stick thin... I think you might have a problem yourself if I'm honest and you're deflecting it on your children... Be very careful!!!!

[SoozeyHoozey]

Obesity is a far bigger problem than anorexia. Most of us ARE too fat (including me)!

[SaucyJack]

Very few people think feminine curves are ugly. It's the lard flobbling about all over the top that aesthetically challenging and unhealthy.

[MamaLazarou]

Yes, it's my fault your daughters think they are fat.

I have been sneaking into your house at night and whispering demoralising words into their ears while they're asleep.

Sorry about that.

[ToysRLuv]

I wouldn't blame the OP for what her daughters are going through. Even if it was justified (whuch we don't know), it is not helpful. Neither does it help to tell people with eating disorders that they are being "silly".

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I've just got a last half stone to lose and then I won't moan about being fat again. Promise OP. But not eating or until then, oh no.

What a stupid opening post to not bother coming back to discuss/debate/defend.