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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be really angry with each and everyone of you who has ever moaned about being 'fat'

281 replies

Lookatwhatyouvedone · 29/06/2015 19:39

I have daughters. I've worked for years at nurturing their self esteem, reassuring them. Loving them.

Still makes feck all difference to the voices in their heads that tell them that thin and flat, or better still non-existent, is beautiful and having curves is ugly. They are a normal weight. They exercise. They eat sensibly. They aren't happy with their shape. And I think it's all your fault. All of you. Every single one of you who's ever obsessed about your thighs or your tummy or your boobs. Ever single one of you who's bought in to the lie that we can never quite be good enough, could always lose a few pounds, tone a few inches.
Look at what you've done and you still keep doing it. Fat is the demon, thin is the goddess and not a thought for the destruction done. How many threads on here asking how you can reduce yourselves. Not because you actually want to but because you think you should. But it doesn't just harm you does it? It harms all of us and our daughters and our daughters not even born. We talk about the pressure society puts on women but that's bollocks. We are society and we do it to ourselves. You don't talk about being healthy, you talk about being thin.

I am so angry, SO ANGRY, that what I say can't outweigh the damage you've all done. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be sensible and reasonable and calm and not like this but tonight I'm bloody angry.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 30/06/2015 11:28

We've all done? Unless we have been in direct contact with your dds & poured scorn on 'fat' people then I doubt it op, but I do understand why you need to think this is our fault.

How about your direct this at the diet companies who make thousands per year from people insecurities.

How about your direct this at the magazines who make thousands per year from people insecurities.

How about your direct this at the celebrities who perpetuate the myth that fat is bad.

I am sorry that your daughters are suffering, but that isn't our fault.

Varya · 30/06/2015 11:34

Rubbish!

noeffingidea · 30/06/2015 11:48

Why do people think everything's about them nowadays?
OP, if I want to say I feel fat then I will. My feelings about my own body have got nothing to do with your daughters.
In fact, I think your whole opening post is totally bizarre (and no I haven't read the whole thread. I can't be arsed).

ArcheryAnnie · 30/06/2015 11:49

Look at what you've done and you still keep doing it.

So - all the women who, just like your daughters, have been taught and shamed from birth that their bodies must be just so, and that they will never ever be acceptable whatever they look like - all these women are the ones to blame?

We all try to survive in the patriarchy. Many of us try to change it, but we still have to negotiate it to survive. I'm fat. I'm generally OK with being fat, but at the moment I'm currently trying to lose weight because I will need to get a new job soon, and I know that one of the instant stereotypes about fat women is that they are lazy, have no self-control, etc etc. It's a lie, but it's a lie that may well prevent me getting a job, so I have to work on it before I walk into an interview.

Blaming women for not being impervious to social pressure imposed on them from the start? YABVU

reni1 · 30/06/2015 11:56

I do actually agree OP that we as a society put too much pressure on girls and women to be thin and beautiful and it is really damaging.

The biggest influences on a girl's body image do not come from advertising, pop stars and random mnetters though, the real influence comes from close friends and family, especially female family. YOU in other words, OP. You did this, not I. YANBU to be angry, but YABU to be angry with me.

myneighbourtotoro2 · 30/06/2015 12:29

Noeffing - I completely agree . Very strange post

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