To be really angry with each and everyone of you who has ever moaned about being 'fat'

[Lookatwhatyouvedone]

I have daughters. I've worked for years at nurturing their self esteem, reassuring them. Loving them.

Still makes feck all difference to the voices in their heads that tell them that thin and flat, or better still non-existent, is beautiful and having curves is ugly. They are a normal weight. They exercise. They eat sensibly. They aren't happy with their shape. And I think it's all your fault. All of you. Every single one of you who's ever obsessed about your thighs or your tummy or your boobs. Ever single one of you who's bought in to the lie that we can never quite be good enough, could always lose a few pounds, tone a few inches.
Look at what you've done and you still keep doing it. Fat is the demon, thin is the goddess and not a thought for the destruction done. How many threads on here asking how you can reduce yourselves. Not because you actually want to but because you think you should. But it doesn't just harm you does it? It harms all of us and our daughters and our daughters not even born. We talk about the pressure society puts on women but that's bollocks. We are society and we do it to ourselves. You don't talk about being healthy, you talk about being thin.

I am so angry, SO ANGRY, that what I say can't outweigh the damage you've all done. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be sensible and reasonable and calm and not like this but tonight I'm bloody angry.

[Baguettes]

You sound like you need some help.

[NoNameDame]

Are you fat op?

[downgraded]

I think it's your fault.

If your daughters have body image issues, it's more your fault than mine.

[Stealthpolarbear]

I know the ops post has riled many people and I do get why but I don't think we should all pile in here (and asking if her daughters could do with losing a few pounds ). This sounds like someone at the end kf her tether.

[yorkshapudding]

Why are the feeling of others less valid than yours (or your daughters for that matter)? You have no problem expressing your own anger (not necessarily a bad thing) but you don't think it's OK for other women to express their negative feelings because those feelings happen to relate to body image and this is something you want to shield your daughters from. Low self esteem and issues with food/body image are extremely common. Not talking about it won't make it go away. Whatever the root cause of your daughters lack of self esteem, they didn't "catch" it from reading Mumsnet.

[msgrinch]

Oh excuse me?! You're going to blame your daughters hang ups on other women? Fuck off. Seriously. How dare you even dare to blame other women who have issues with their own bodies. I'm sure your children are perfect little stunners but their issues are no one's but their own.

[PippiLicious]

Do your girls spend a lot of time on MN?

I suspect you need to look much much closer to home for their "problems".

I had a mother like you who was obsessed with weight. I spent my teens, twenties and most of my thirties with my fingers down my throat.

[TattyDevine]

Okay so let me get this straight.

If we on Mumsnet have body image issues or wish to reduce our body fat percentage its our fault and we are evil, but if your daughters have body image issues or wish to reduce our body fat percentage then we are also evil?

[FantasticButtocks]

I wonder if really you are worried it's your fault your daughters feel like this? Your anger is being directed elsewhere maybe because you feel you haven't managed to protect them, but daren't really face that? Even with negative external influences present, it is possible to bring our daughters up to feel good about themselves, and many of us have managed to do that.

'Shouting' at people who may be in the same position as your daughters seems harsh.

[TattyDevine]

*their body fat percentage

[prorsum]

Marking.

[TiggieBoo]

I'm fat. I don't feel attractive because I'm fat. When I was slim and toned I used to feel much better about myself. I'm not going to apologise to you for the way I feel about myself. YABU.

[roundtable]

I agree Stealth, the replies here are nasty.

Op, name change and repost whatever is going on that is upsetting you so much. I hope you're daughters are okay.

[NickAngel]

OP has disappeared already?

[fairnotfit]

Seriously, OP, your post is irrational. Giving you the benefit of the doubt: why are you so angry?

[roundtable]

Your even!

[boltofblue]

Sad to see bullying again on MN

[Justanotherlurker]

But this fat and healthy is a myth, at a basic level ignoring outliers and anecdotes, non overweight and healthy people outlive and have fewer complications than the opposite, we are as a species becoming obese in the western world and trying to redraw the norm is not going to help.

I believe in positive body image and not succumbing to the trashy women's (and lads mags as it happens) definition, but this trying to redraw the boundaries is dangerous.

[Battleshiphips]

I would leave another reply but I'm far too busy wondering how I can lose this extra stone so I can get HEALTHY

[FenellaFellorick]

I can see that you are really upset and I am sorry about that, but if you are seeing the effect that the media and 'society' is having on your daughters, can you not see that every woman you are on here attacking has had that same message hammered into them for a lot more years than your daughters and it's likely that their choices and feelings and fears are because of their own 'programming', just like the 'programming' you are angry that you see affecting your daughters?

Yes, we should all work on it, but we don't do well by attacking each other about this issue.