Sponsoring DD

[DisappointedOne]

DD is 4 and had her first ever sponsored event this week. It was quite a challenge for her and her little legs in terms of distance and hills, but she did it and is very pleased with herself. She understands that it's to raise money for the school and has asked the neighbours etc to sponsor her, which they've been happy to do. She's raised over £50 from neighbours and my side of the family (not including us).

DH's family: DD's grandparents, 3 uncles, 2 aunts and 5 cousins have sponsored her the grand total of £5. She obviously has no concept of this being a kick in the teeth, but I'm fucking fuming on her behalf.

We'll be driving the best part of 600 miles in one day next weekend to attend a christening for one of them. WIBU to spend the grand sum of 41.7p (£5/12) on a card and gift?

So if all 12 members of DHs family, including small children who have no income, had sponsored your DD £5 each, would you have spent £5 on a present for the baptised child or £10 if they had sponsored £10 each.

At the end of the day if you feel so strongly about DHs family's treatment of your DD, don't go to the Christening. It's not unreasonable to tell them it's too much travelling for one day.

It's your choice if you are going to stoop so low as to treat a baby/young child with such contempt because the grown ups didn't give your DD more sponsor money, but you would bvu if you did.

adults get a fiver, kids get 20-50p if you don't like it don't ask me to sponsor you.

If it's about you wanting to show the school that you raised a huge amount, you may have to put the money in yourself.

Not at all. I'm someone that would rather give them £40 at the start of the year and be done with it!

If it's about you thinking that the amount of sponsorship is equal to the amount of love then that's very sad and I would hope that isn't the case.

It's just very noticeable when the average donation from my few relatives is £10 each and from theirs 40p. (They're significantly better off than my relatives.)

It's just very noticeable when the average donation from my few relatives is £10 each and from theirs 40p.

If it's about you thinking that the amount of sponsorship is equal to the amount of love then that's very sad and I would hope that isn't the case.

The best solution as far as I can see is to stop sponsoring them and sponsor your daughter more for her next event.

Yep. Good idea.

If it's about you thinking that the amount of sponsorship is equal to the amount of love then that's very sad and I would hope that isn't the case.

Actually, they show even less in terms of love.

Different people feel differently about sponsorship. I bet there really is nothing more to it than that.

OP that's an awful lot of money for most people. Most people don't have that kind of cash unallocated. (Not sure why the £500 is relevant)

Were the company not paying the £500s most of it would come to us as cash.

tbh if my kids do school sponsored events like this I just sponsor them to the tune of a tenner myself - I figure neighbours/extended family etc can do without me nagging them to fund my kids' school.

Different people feel differently about sponsorship. I bet there really is nothing more to it than that.

Well, I'm certainly learning that!

xpost.

Well, then that's probably the root of your crossness, isn't it? Not the actual figure sponsored.

That's a reasonable thing to feel aggrieved about - not feeling loved.

20p on a sponsorship form - not so much.

OP you're not exactly showing anything in terms of love right now

The longer I know them the less I love them. I'll never forgive their shoddy treatment of DD and selfishness over the last 5 years.

Disappointed one - I really don't think many people at all keep a track of who sponsors them what, most peoples response to sponsorship is 'thank you'.

You said in your op she'd got sponsorship from neighbours.

in response to yr post at 21.32.

Gosh OP, you're sponsorship budget is bigger than my holiday/days out budget

Busy trying to work out the different combinations in which 7 adults could give £5.

4 x £1, 1 x 50p, 2 x 25p
3 x £1, 4 x 50p
1 x £2, 6 x 50p ...

This will keep me amused for hours.

You said in your op she'd got sponsorship from neighbours.

Which you've extrapolated to mean I sent her there to beg for money?

She was playing outside and the neighbour came to talk to her. Asked what she'd been doing at school and she told him about the sponsored event. He said to DH "stick me down for a fiver". Another neighbour was helping DH and asked what it was for, and then said he'd give £5 too. DD was thrilled.

Gosh OP, you're sponsorship budget is bigger than my holiday/days out budget

Not any more it isn't.

Busy trying to work out the different combinations in which 7 adults could give £5.

GPs gave £5 between them. The rest gave fuck all.

So, I've got 3 DSs, even at 1 sponsored event per year (more like 3!) that's still 21 sponsored reading days, walks, silences, skips, netball shoots, football shoots, bike rides, swims etc through primary school. I sponsor them £5, exH sponsors them £5 and I never ask the family and never, ever ask the neighbours. Way to make the neighbours sick of you!

You'll learn.

21:17pm

Sorry how is your child doing a sponsored walk and you going to a christening related?

Who said anything about walking?

For them: DD and I drive 150 miles to pick up DH who lands in the early hours to then drive another 200 miles to attend a hocus pocus service they're only having to get presents then 300 miles home the same day.

For us: fuck all.

Yeah, I have no right being fucked off about that.