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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sponsoring DD

156 replies

DisappointedOne · 28/06/2015 20:47

DD is 4 and had her first ever sponsored event this week. It was quite a challenge for her and her little legs in terms of distance and hills, but she did it and is very pleased with herself. She understands that it's to raise money for the school and has asked the neighbours etc to sponsor her, which they've been happy to do. She's raised over £50 from neighbours and my side of the family (not including us).

DH's family: DD's grandparents, 3 uncles, 2 aunts and 5 cousins have sponsored her the grand total of £5. She obviously has no concept of this being a kick in the teeth, but I'm fucking fuming on her behalf.

We'll be driving the best part of 600 miles in one day next weekend to attend a christening for one of them. WIBU to spend the grand sum of 41.7p (£5/12) on a card and gift?

OP posts:
msgrinch · 28/06/2015 21:26

Ok op, they'll probably be glad of the lack of effort from you in the future. Their bank balances will at least.

saoirse31 · 28/06/2015 21:26

yabvu to send your four yr old to get money from your neighbours. you can clearly afford it from what u say so just sponsor her yourself.

fastdaytears · 28/06/2015 21:26

I think the response you've been given is to do with the sponsorship not the Christening.

YWDNBU not to go to this Christening if you think it would be awful and you're fed up for other reasons, but it's got sod all to do with the sponsored walk/run/cycle/bounce/hop/ski (running out of stuff a 4 year old could do with her legs)

snowglobemouse · 28/06/2015 21:26
Hmm
Vivacia · 28/06/2015 21:27

How much do you sponsor your husband's relatives per year, would you say?

Fatmomma99 · 28/06/2015 21:27

sorry, x posted with about 20 people who all said it better than me Blush

FenellaFellorick · 28/06/2015 21:28

for a 4 year old?

Yes, pretty much. It is.

20p, 50p, £1 - all normal amounts for a little sponsored thing for a small child.

CatMilkMan · 28/06/2015 21:29

saoirse31 is saoirse your real name? I used to know a girl called saoirse, it's a really beautiful name.
OP, you are still being unreasonable.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 28/06/2015 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 28/06/2015 21:30

The school make a point of doing just 1 sponsored thing a year. All other fundraising takes place at school discos etc where prices for things are set really low and pennies are made on each drink or balloon.

I'm hoping to get them some grants over the next year so that the need for direct fundraising is lower - this isn't something they've really thought about before but the grants are out there to be applied for!

I suppose I just thought her other family would want to show her some support. I'd sponsor the other cousins (all younger) £5 in a heartbeat for their first sponsored event.

OP posts:
Stickerrocks · 28/06/2015 21:31

Lots of great ideas coming through now on this thread for things the PTA can get sponsored for now though. They really won't struggle to raise money of they organise a triathlon involving scooters, pogo sticks and hopping events.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 28/06/2015 21:32

yabvu to send your four yr old to get money from your neighbours. you can clearly afford it from what u say so just sponsor her yourself.

WTF? Where did I say I'd sent her?! We have sponsored her ourselves, thanks.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/06/2015 21:33

You chose to sponsor people to the total of £150. That doesn't mean anyone is compelled to do the same.

Nobody has to sponsor anyone else, nor to the have to sponsor an amount which will shut you up a certain amount.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 28/06/2015 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vivacia · 28/06/2015 21:34

I'd sponsor the other cousins (all younger) £5 in a heartbeat for their first sponsored event.

No, I don't rhetorically, I mean this last school year? Of course, perhaps your husband doesn't have any relatives who have asked you, and perhaps it's irrelevant given that your circumstances are different to theirs.

I'm hoping to get them some grants over the next year so that the need for direct fundraising is lower - this isn't something they've really thought about before but the grants are out there to be applied for!

They are very lucky you're involved now.

FenellaFellorick · 28/06/2015 21:35

You mean show you though. Because she is 4. She won't have a clue. Well, not unless you tell her and you tell her how you feel and you create that feeling in her. It's not about showing her some support. They did that. They sponsored her. Look darling, grandma and grandad sponsored you, isn't that great v sorry darling, mean grandma and grandad only gave you 50p, they don't care about you at all or us either... It's about you having in your head an idea of the amount that you consider showing support. But you are mistaken if you think that it isn't perfectly normal and very common to sponsor small children a small amount.

If it's about you wanting to show the school that you raised a huge amount, you may have to put the money in yourself.

If it's about you thinking that the amount of sponsorship is equal to the amount of love then that's very sad and I would hope that isn't the case.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 28/06/2015 21:35

How much do you sponsor your husband's relatives per year, would you say?

Charity run by DH's uncle gets £500 per year from our company.
One BIL does a triathlon each year in aid of above charity - he gets sponsored £30-50 plus gift aid depending on whether full or half.
Other BILs do a few 10k-half marathon runs per year. They usually get £10-15 plus gift aid per event.
SIL works for a charity and has climbed mountains etc to fundraise. She usually gets £20-25 plus gift aid per time for those.

OP posts:
Original poster
DisappointedOne · 28/06/2015 21:36

Ooh, and since 3 of DH's grandparents died of cancer, £500 per year goes to Marie Curie/Cancer Research every year too.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 28/06/2015 21:36

I recognise your username from other threads.
You seem obsessed with money and gifts.

Sirzy · 28/06/2015 21:38

Fantastic you have enough money and you choose to give to charity.

That still doesn't mean that anyone else has to do the same though.

This seems to be turning into a "ooh look how great I am and all I do" thread!

Klayden · 28/06/2015 21:38

Well, bully for you that you have so much spare cash. Hmm

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 28/06/2015 21:38

you don't like them. nothing they do will ever be right.

i'm sure there is a lot of history but you sound bitter and twisted towards them. Don't let this eat you up. You're the one on the internet feeling cross and angry. they're probably sitting in front of the tv with not a care in the world

ChuffinAda · 28/06/2015 21:39

Sponsor forms from school go straight in the bin here

If you'd asked me to sponsor her I'd have politely told you to jog on.

fastdaytears · 28/06/2015 21:39

The best solution as far as I can see is to stop sponsoring them and sponsor your daughter more for her next event. Then stop being so bitter about it.

Vivacia · 28/06/2015 21:39

OP that's an awful lot of money for most people. Most people don't have that kind of cash unallocated. (Not sure why the £500 is relevant).