Sponsoring DD

[DisappointedOne]

DD is 4 and had her first ever sponsored event this week. It was quite a challenge for her and her little legs in terms of distance and hills, but she did it and is very pleased with herself. She understands that it's to raise money for the school and has asked the neighbours etc to sponsor her, which they've been happy to do. She's raised over £50 from neighbours and my side of the family (not including us).

DH's family: DD's grandparents, 3 uncles, 2 aunts and 5 cousins have sponsored her the grand total of £5. She obviously has no concept of this being a kick in the teeth, but I'm fucking fuming on her behalf.

We'll be driving the best part of 600 miles in one day next weekend to attend a christening for one of them. WIBU to spend the grand sum of 41.7p (£5/12) on a card and gift?

Yabvu

Is this another one of those posts where the OP has zero intention of even considering the teeniest possibility that they may be unreasonable?!

So, this cousin you've included in the 12 , who is getting christened. How old is she/he?

Yep, with you OP! Why should you make an effort for their child when they so blatantly didn't bother for yours?

Not sure if I'd react in the same way, but I can definitely see where you're coming from.

What?! My 4 year old did a sponsored walk thing at school for Barnardos last month. We sent him in with £2. That said, sounds PFB klaxon when DS1 did a sponsored thing at his baby swimming lesson years ago we raised about £150 after tapping up friends, family, colleagues etc. Just thinking about it now makes my toes curl with embarrassment.

Nobody needs to sponsor your DD anything. If they sponsored her £5 then be grateful for the £5.

YA most definitely BU.

Drip feeding and sarcasm won't help you with that, it's clear cut.

Dds have done various things via the school for charity. It has never ever crossed my mind to ask anyone else for sponsorship for them. I do it myself.

OP, I was speaking from experience. I have no family living nearby. If my DD has taken part in a sponsored event and we've even bothered mentioning it to them, I have often picked up a fiver next time we've visited. I would certainly never fall out with them over something so pathetic.

Please remember to smile for the photos at the christening, as it would be dreadful for you to look as though you were sucking on lemons and ruin the pics for everyone else. Alternatively, just don't go if you don't like them.

Sorry how is your child doing a sponsored walk and you going to a christening related?

Who said anything about walking?

For them: DD and I drive 150 miles to pick up DH who lands in the early hours to then drive another 200 miles to attend a hocus pocus service they're only having to get presents then 300 miles home the same day.

For us: fuck all.

Yeah, I have no right being fucked off about that.

Get over yourself! Yabu

More than happy to admit being unreasonable if I can be persuaded of it.

most people really do just sponsor for a token amount. I wouldn't interpret it as some sort of slight or something. It really isn't a kick in the teeth. It's normal.

It gets fairly annoying pretty quickly, tbh. Give it a while and you'll feel like wiping your arse on the sponsorship forms The neighbours will too

sponsoring a 4 year old to do a bit of walking - perfectly normal to put down 20p or 50p or something like that.

It's totally separate from a family event and yes, it would be unreasonable to make a big deal out of it. They didn't do anything wrong.

xpost, walking assumed because you said about her 'little legs'. Walking, running, cycling, whatever, still ok to sponsor a 4 year old a token amount.

My ds has 10 cousins. They get sponsored 20p each for things. It would get ridiculously expensive otherwise. It's voluntary to sponsor anyone, including family. You have no right to be annoyed with someone not doing what you want. You don't have to go to this christening anyway so that's a non issue.

I've probably forked out about £150 in the past month or so for various adults doing various events for charity. I'm more than happy to where somebody is challenging themselves to do something to benefit others.

As a member of the PTA of the school, it's hard to find money raising activities that don't rely on parents forking out every single time. Sponsored events are one of the few things where money can come from a much wider circle.

You don't have to go to this christening anyway so that's a non issue.

Sadly, we do. but for the rest of eternity they can all fuck off if they think any effort is going to be made by us!

I want to know what OP's 4 yo did that involved hills and wasn't walking. Was it like a Tour de France for littlies? Did she do a ski slalom? Hop? Pogo stick?

Of course you're on the PTA.

Every parent is a member of the PTA.

I've probably forked out about £150 in the past month or so for various adults doing various events for charity. I'm more than happy to where somebody is challenging themselves to do something to benefit others.

Well, people are different and have different circumstances.

Can you really not see where you are being a tad unreasonable and expecting a bit too much from people here?

I think, Disappointed, that what most people posting here know and that you don't realize yet, is just how many sponsor requests a child will have over the next few years. One every big term isn't unusual, and if the participate in extra-curricular activities, there may be more. Plus the school will have fundraising events, etc, etc, etc.

There are a gazillion requests for cash from every child.

Most families don't even ask aunts or uncles, they just sponsor their kid a fiver, maybe ask the GPs, that's it.

So I think you need to get over that one - it's the first of many events. Try and encourage your DD to do it for all good reasons, not including her own health benefits if she goes on to do race for life or marathons etc. And be pleased to contribute towards the charities and institutions she is supporting.

Honestly, how much were you intending to sponsor all the cousins for? And how many times? If they're younger than your DD, you'll very quickly be glad that your relatives set the bar low.

But congrats to your DD, and glad she's proud of her achievement.

This thing about a long drive to a Christening isn't really related. Book a B&B to break up journey? Don't go?

£5 is pretty standard

£5 between 7 adults is normal?