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to be pleased that I can't lick both nipples with little physical contortion?

97 replies

chippednailvarnish · 25/06/2015 23:32

Just sayin'

OP posts:

CatthiefKeith · 25/06/2015 23:36

Did you try then? Grin


AnyFucker · 25/06/2015 23:38

that's nice, dear


bungmean · 25/06/2015 23:39

Who's nipples?


MaggieJoyBlunt · 25/06/2015 23:40

Pleased that you CAN'T? Hmm Confused

Having tried?

I'm really not going to ask Grin


travertine · 25/06/2015 23:40

It really is much easier if you get someone else to lick them ( I really have no idea what's going on but I like nipples)


chippednailvarnish · 25/06/2015 23:41

Actually I have a dodgy disc in my neck, so no I didn't try.


OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 25/06/2015 23:41

just you wait, gravity makes everything head south, no physical contortion will be needed. just lifting the saggy things.


WorraLiberty · 25/06/2015 23:42

Even though I'm a SAHM with school aged children

Would it be wrong for me to hire someone to lick my nipples for me?

It's just that I get a bit overwhelmed and DH works long hours.


chippednailvarnish · 25/06/2015 23:42

and small norks.

There's not much to lift.

OP posts:

chippednailvarnish · 25/06/2015 23:45

Worra how much would you pay eyes up an employment opportunity for DH

OP posts:

Fatmomma99 · 25/06/2015 23:45

I haven't tried, but I think I could also do this.

I'm also VERY proud. I am a little-titted lady, but I've put on weight and have gravity issues, so I think if I did a backwards roll, I could now do this.

My dd has sucked my nipples, so has my DH. I am the only person in this house who hasn't (although, nor has my dog...). Maybe now is my chance to try.

Sadly, I'm not keen enough to experiment and come back and report.


MaggieJoyBlunt · 25/06/2015 23:48

Backwards roll? Sod that, that's sport.


WorraLiberty · 25/06/2015 23:48

No more than NMW to begin with chipped and on a zero hours contract

My nipples refuse to commit to just anyone!


chippednailvarnish · 25/06/2015 23:52

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

OP posts:

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 26/06/2015 00:05

Nope. Can't quite get there yet.

Give it a couple of years Smile

scrub that; Sad!


WorraLiberty · 26/06/2015 00:06

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

Would he consider a training scheme, if I can secure funding?


CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO · 26/06/2015 00:20

I can, with minimal effort, lick my nipples.

Either lying down or standing up.

I have gigantic and saggy norks.

I was going to put at my nipple-licking ability, but I think i'll just slink off to the corner.


CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO · 26/06/2015 00:21

Just to add.

This is only something I tried after reading this thread.

I previously had no knowledge of my ability.


MadAngryGnome · 26/06/2015 00:21

I'd be worried if you could only lick one.


Momagain1 · 26/06/2015 00:22

I discovered years ago that due weight gain and gravity, I could. DH was, um, impressivly impressed with the sight.


NormaStits · 26/06/2015 00:30

I can get mine in my nostrils.


MaggieJoyBlunt · 26/06/2015 00:33

That will be useful if there's a gas leak Norma Smile


lemonade30 · 26/06/2015 00:35

I can use mine as a sleep mask


Idontseeanydragons · 26/06/2015 00:55

Well thanks to this thread I've just pulled a muscle in my neck giving it a go...


ScorpioMermaid · 26/06/2015 00:56

Grin Grin Grin dying here!! (not gonna try and lick mine though as at almost 38 weeks pregnant I might get more than I bargained for Grin I bet I can though, they're pretty massive and propped up by my bump Grin Grin )

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