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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My abusive husband

171 replies

TheWhiteFlag · 25/06/2015 15:06

I know Mumsnet is fond of LTB, so AIBU to seek your support? Here's my story condensed into bullet-points:

  • Children: 3yr old DS and 4yr old DD. I was a SAHM for 4 years until recently when I started work. My wage: 13K. Husbands wage: 42K.
  • I've been with my husband for 10 years. During this time he has gradually become more and more abusive: financially (me no access to money, him taking out secret loans), emotionally (gaslighting, putting me down, manipulation, foul name-calling, sometimes in front of the children), physically (manhandling me, stalking me, tracking me with GPS, waterboarding me), and socially (telling the community that I am a slut, making all the parents at the children's school gossip about me).
  • 6 months ago my spirit finally broke and I started an affair with someone from work. This new man has treated me with dignity and respect. For the first time I feel valued. Although I've never lived alone in my life I feel I really ought to leave my husband. I can't take any more. After discovering my affair, my husband has really escalated his abuse. Life is unbearable.
  • I have started The Freedom Programme after my new therapist referred me. I am finding it harrowing but helpful.
  • My parenting: After postnatal depression and years of being criticized and undermined by my husband, my confidence in my parenting has reached rock bottom. I actually went to citizens advice and said the children would be better off with him, that he was the better parent. In my heart, I don't know if this is true. On paper: he is the better parent: he attends all school appointments, he has excellent family support (I have no family), he's a confident parent, and he can provide a better lifestyle (his income is 4x mine and he drives).

My questions for you guys:

  • If I leave and find my own place, giving him full custody of the children - what would be the implications of this? Can he force me to take on more childcare than I am able? (I have zero family support and low income). He's suggesting 50/50.
  • If I leave the marital home (only his name is on the mortgage) will I still be entitled to the assets upon divorce? What about spousal maintenance?
  • What else should I consider?
OP posts:
coffeeisnectar · 26/06/2015 10:22

Booking marking to reply later. Need to pick a neighbour up from hospital.

CluckingBelle · 26/06/2015 10:58

White Flag, how are you today? What do you want to do as your next step, I'd like to support you if I can.

wallypops · 26/06/2015 11:17

Please get this moved to relationships by reporting it. You will get more support. Don't leave your kids. They won't forgive you. Abusive men don't save it for their wives. Once you are gone he WILL start on them.

Icimoi · 26/06/2015 11:42

OP, have you been able to contact a solicitor? If not, just google something like the name of your nearest town and "domestic violence solicitor" to get a few names. Check whether they do legal aid, it sounds like you might qualify.

coffeeisnectar · 26/06/2015 11:50

White flag, I have only read bits of the thread but have read all your comments.

You seem to think your husband won't harm your children but will abuse his next partner instead. Do you think that's a healthy way to view things? Your children would be left with the man who abuses you and then the next woman and the one after and the one after until they think this is normal. Your son will grow up thinking it's ok to treat women like shit, your daughter may end up in the same situation as you.

You can leave and take your children. Moving on will reduce your stress immensely. One of my friends left her abusive husband last year. She didn't think she could parent or cope on her own because he did such a good job of messing with her head. They (her and two kids) went to a refuge, now have a lovely home and she's got a job. Kids are settled and happy but it's because their mum is so happy and a million miles away from the stressed woman lacking in confidence this time last year that they are thriving.

Financially they don't have much but her exh pays maintenance and she's coping. Friends and charities helped her out with things for the flat and life is good. She wishes she had gone sooner and can't believe she even thought about leaving her kids behind.

owlborn · 26/06/2015 12:31

I honestly think you should not worry about the kids schools and friends etc. Children do adjust. They will be OK. I think if you have anywhere in this country where you have a support structure - family or friends - who can take you in at all then you should get your kids on the train or in a car and just go.

I think they are absolutely at risk from your husband. Men like that don't stop at their wife. He will move on to them. I know of one family where the mother left due to abuse. In that case, he moved on to the oldest son as he hit his teens and started to be seen as a threat and challenging the abuser's authority. I am not saying this to scare you, but I really think a man who waterboards you (which is absolutely premeditated and sadistic torture) is not someone who is capable of providing a nurturing or safe relationship to anyone.

Just get yourself and the kids out and figure the rest out later.

fearandloathinginambridge · 26/06/2015 12:52

I would have concerns about leaving your children with his parents.

I would worry that a man like that is in part the product of his upbringing and I would be wondering what went wrong in his formative years to make him so abusive. I would worry how big a part his parents played in shaping him either by their own abuse towards him or their lack of ability to protect him from other abusers.

I understand why you are concerned about the future, money, schools, jobs etc. However, as far as you possibly can I think you need to focus on the now, worrying too far ahead will distract you and perhaps prevent you from taking action through fear. As a PP said get out and then worry about the rest afterwards.

I really hope you managed to speak to SS today and that it was useful.

motherofmonster · 26/06/2015 13:21

on paper he might seem like the parent that is able to provide more. In reality he is a emotionally abusive thug who has no problem subjecting the people in his family that he is supposed to protect to battery and torture and if he has no problems vocally abusing you in front of the kids then he will have no problem doing it to them when he feels that they are no longer falling into line.

Hitler on paper was a wonderful son, highly motivated, great job, well dressed and smart looking.. but off paper the man was also a fucking pysco headcase.

You have listed all of your concerns and reasons for not wanting to take the children with you. Even though you have heard many first hand accounts of women who have been through the same system and told you what will happen with regards to housing, benefits, child maintenance, tax credits and emotional support, help with furnishing, moving costs, help with parenting courses ect but you are unwilling to take any of this on board.

You are able to do this if you want to.

If you leave your children with this man or his parents he will systematically to to turn the children against you and destroy any hope of you having a relationship with them in the future.

Having less money or fewer friends or relatives does not make you a shit mother.
Abandoning your children and leaving them to live with a abusive monster does.
Because regardless of how scary the future seems to you, how you worry about coping you have to put the children's safety first.

If you have the ability to hold down a part time job. Run a house. Live with abuse and conduct a affair all at the same time i am sure you can mange to google and find out your options instead of giving up before you have even started.

Topseyt · 26/06/2015 14:11

I am thinking OP may be at work, as she hasn't updated for a little while now.

I will just join the chorus saying that your husband is the shitty parent, OP, not you. He also sounds as though he has criminal tendencies with the waterboarding etc., which is an assault in itself and could potentially even kill you.

Please do not.leave the children with him. You would be leaving them in certain danger and would be unlikely to ever get them back or repair your relationship with them.

To be honest, I would be reluctant to let him have anything other than supervised access to the kids, not 50/50 custody, which would give him too much chance to either abuse them eventually or to poison their minds against you.

Just my thoughts. I hope you find the strength to get out soon, WITH the children.

TheWhiteFlag · 26/06/2015 15:42

Hi everyone. Thank you for all your input. I have a meeting with a lawyer on Tuesday. Can you guys help me draw up a list of questions to ask her? I need to make sure I make best use of this precious opportunity.

OP posts:
elderflowerlemonade · 26/06/2015 15:43

I'm useless with stuff like this but I have been moved and upset by your posts.

Hate thinking of anyone putting up with abuse like this.

coffeeisnectar · 26/06/2015 16:14

I'd look at a restraining order, residency order for the kids and advice on divorce and obtaining half the house.

grapejuicerocks · 26/06/2015 16:16

The kids are young and he can control them now. What happens when they start challenging him?

Please, please start the ball rolling to protect them from him. If you don't feel able to have them yourself then please get ss/police involved to get them to their grandparents or even into care.
You cannot leave them with someone as abusive as him. If you do then you are almost as bad as him, leaving them to be almost certainly abused in the future. Sorry to be harsh but if he has treated you as badly as you say, then he is an appalling human being and should never have custody of innocent children.

NinjaHippy · 26/06/2015 16:16

TheWhiteFlag, you can do this, you really can! All of these people are here behind you, and we all believe in you. You are much stronger than you think, and I promise you that once you are out of this situation you will come to realise what a strong person and fantastic parent you are.
Keep your children safe with you, that's the important thing right now. Basic parenting is fine, so long as they are safe, and you are the person who can give that safety and stability to them in the long run.

Atenco · 26/06/2015 16:18

From reading the posts from people who have recently been in refuges, I think it might really be a good half-way house for you OP. You have been worn down and not permitted to take pride in or have any confidence in your parenting skills, I feel that a refuge might be a supportive environment for you to rediscover your self-confidence and abilities.

TheWhiteFlag · 26/06/2015 17:01

Any more questions for the lawyer? My head is all over the place.

OP posts:
grapejuicerocks · 26/06/2015 17:14

Just explain the situation and ask how you can protect the children and how you can get him to move out and/or release your half of the equity in the house. Ask what else is he legally obliged to do. Tell them that you are totally unaware of how to make things happen and can they advise you how to proceed. They will be used to people not having a clue what is to happen. That is why people go to lawyers in the first place.

It might help to write things down in a timeline and give it to them to read. then you take the emotion out of it, save time and don't forget any important facts. Include all the abuse.

Just be honest, admit you've made mistakes but remember that the affair is a consequence of, and not a cause of the situation. They are there to help you. Don't worry if you get upset. They will have seen it all before.

Ideally you should take the kids with you. If you really don't feel that you can have the kids then say so, but ask how you can protect them for their sakes. Please don't leave them to their fathers influence.

TiredButFine · 26/06/2015 23:01

Tell the lawyer he waterboarded you
Tell the lawyer he said he will turn off the water/leccy/wifi when he goes to work
Tell the lawyer you started an affair but don't want to live with this new man
Tell the lawyer he uneermines you in fron to the kids (I'm guessing he does)
Tell the lawyer he relies heavily on GP's to do childcare
Ask the lawyer what are the prospects of seeing the kids in future if you left without them
Ask the lawyer how you can block him from abusing / contacting you and the kids if you left
Ask the lawyer what financial support you might get for you and the kids
Ask the lawyer if they have dealt with a situation like this before and what happened
Ask the lawyer if they will help you through this

TiredButFine · 26/06/2015 23:02

*undermines

Topseyt · 27/06/2015 00:44

Sit down over the weekend and make a written list of questions for the lawyer based on the advice and suggestions given above.

That should remind you and stop you forgetting what you wanted to say when the time comes. Keep it safe and make sure he can't find it though.

ASettlerOfCatan · 27/06/2015 10:06

What tired said. You can do this op. We are all behind you x

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