School Trip / Homesick - not allowed to stay second night

[facedontfit]

First AIBU don't be harsh am feeling a bit delicate

Daughter (Year 6) is on a school 2 night residential trip. Last night I had a phone call from headteacher at 1.05 am saying daughter couldn't sleep and could I come and collect her, spoke to her on the phone and she was tearful. Collected her and she was fine spoke excitedly about the day and was looking forward to the following day and staying the following night. Said she had been feeling homesick.

Took her back at 7.45 this morning and was told she could do todays activities but could not stay tonight. I was to collect her this evening Daughter devastated, burst into tears. I tried to put my case that she wanted to stay, she was being punished for being homesick and marginalised. Daughter said she won't get homesick and is desperate to stay. HT said she had made her decision. She stayed two nights last year with no problems. In school letter about trip it says you will be asked to collect if homesick but does not say you will then not be allowed to stay 2nd night. She has had a difficult time at this school over the last year and am worried that this experience isn't helping her.

HT says she doesn't want another night like last night. A number of children were still up at midnight (including daughter) having toast and biscuits. Isn't this all part of the school trip? Feel this has ruined the trip for her. Have left her there in tears.

AIBU to think that she should stay the second night? What can I do?

The thing is, if she can't help it, and if homesickness is as awful as described, why put her through another night of it? She can tell you in day time that it won't happen again, but that means nothing in these circumstances. It would be utterly unfair to all concerned, including your daughter, to take the risk. She isn't been punished and imo it isn't fair of you to suggest such a thing, either to her or to the teachers.

Since when did a school residential trip include "fun sleepovers?". My ds y4 has just got back from 2 nights away and whilst they had a great time once the lights were out they were expected to go to sleep or at least be quiet - it's not a birthday sleepover at a friends house!

people can't help being homesick.it is a very real thing

A school trip is a non essential activity. When the girl has the maturity not to keep her classmates and teachers awake at 1am then she can spend a night away from home. She is not ready for a school trip.

Good point, ReallyTired. Maturity not to wake others is the only point, irrelevant if real homesickness or drama queen.

I ended up in hospital during my year 6 school trip, they wouldn't let me phone my DM until the following day as she'd worry, and I was fine. They were right. I stayed on and enjoyed the rest of the holiday.

Without being on the trip it's hard to say what should or should not have been done but it does seem crazy that they'd call you at 1 am to collect her.

However, if that's what they decided they needed to do then YABU, there's no guarantee she won't be the same again and they shouldn't have to deal with it again, if they didn't manage to deal with it in the first place.

Scout leader here. If a child is unsettled in the night then we will of course settle them. But if they are up till 1am, it can take us till 2am to settle and sleep ourselves because we are listening out for them. Then the majority of the kids will be up between 5-6am. You would then want us to run a days worth of activities sometimes with risk assessments etc on 3-4 hours sleep?

YABU.