To be upset and annoyed at how this very large man ruined our trip to the theatre?

[QueenBean]

It was my birthday a few weeks ago and my boyfriend bought me really good tickets to a show I've been wanting to see. The show is interactive and so he picked seats at the end of the row, about 3 rows from the stage. He booked these about 4 months ago to ensure they were good seats and paid £80 per ticket (I know this because it was printed on the ticket).

When we arrived, there was a morbidly obese man sitting in the seat next to mine. Except he was also taking up part of my seat, arm right over the armrest etc. I was then wedged in my seat, squeezed up to my boyfriend for the whole show. I asked the box office if they had any spare seats but they only had them in row T, far back from our seats and the next price bracket down. They also had some in a box but we wouldn't have been able to join in with the show. They said they wouldn't be able to refund and offer tickets for another day.

I felt really sorry for this man, he was clearly uncomfortable in his chair and kept moving to sort of move away from my seat. I didn't make it in any way obvious that I was uncomfortable or anything.

But I am pretty annoyed about it, and was upset last night about having our lovely trip to the theatre impacted so much by someone else. We booked our seats so far in advance to get suitable ones - why couldn't this man have booked a more suitable seat for himself? The boxes were the same price seats and had free seating (ie, they aren't fixed to the floor so can be moved), I am not sure why he couldn't have booked one of those when one was still free last night.

I am going to get flamed for not being more understanding, but what was meant to be an expensive birthday treat was greatly impacted by this man and I think he could have considered his size more when booking his own seat.

Aibu to feel annoyed at this?

So keep it in it's proper seat place and nobody, certainly not the op will feel the need to comment on it, Fanjo

FanjoForTheMammaries well you are some woman with some patience. Fair dues to you.

I would most defiantly be unhappy and lets be real here the majority of people would with good cause. As stated earlier in this thread I actually had a panic attack due to being wedged between a large man and the window on the plane. So as not to embarrass the man, I took myself off to the loo and said nothing. If I made a scene then I would have been unkind.

Someone being fat is in no way comparable to someone being a pervert.

Have heard it all now.

Yes I am a stubborn bugger Gertrude

So anyone is welcome to press their excess flesh into you, Fanjo (I can't believe I actually typed that...) as long as they can prove they're not a pervert, and are doing it for their own comfort only. How does that work?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to assume someone sitting on a seat in the theatre and taking up space because they are obese is sitting in a seat, and not being a pervert

why shouldnt morbid obese people that cannot phyiscally fit into 1 seat have to buy a second seat ?

a couple of years ago I was asked to give up my seat and take a later flight because a morbidly obese person physically needed 2 seats but the flight was compelety full (it was one of the last flights from were I was to home at christmas time) And when I asked was I garnteed a flight home if I had given up my seat they said no I was not gurenteed a seat on a flight home before chirstmas but they would try their best to get me one and a upgrade on it and if not they would give me first class travel on the first aviliable flight after xmas and pay for any extra costs incurded etc

and the flight attendent then had the arducity to say how unkind I was to not give up my seat because someone did not pay for two seats and how I was ruining chirstmas for a teenager.. but she finally shut up when I asked how is it fair that i ruin my YOUNG childs christmas by not actully being home for it to make room for someone that did not pay for the amount of seats they required.... (Used to have to travel alot for work )

If the theatre had seats that are separated by arms that don't lift up, buying a second seat wouldn't make an ounce of difference.

I appreciate it's not the same on planes though and would have done the same in that situation.

Yanbu
He should have booked a box or 3 seats in a row to spill his flab into. He's presumably not got that fat overnight so was well aware there would be a problem when he booked tickets

Of course it would. If the arm rest acted as a magical barrier stopping the rest of the person encroaching on the adjacent seat, then the OP wouldn't have had a problem, would they?

Liquorice

I quite understand what you are saying but just because your weight gain is being controlled by your medication it doesn't mean that everyone with an underactive thyroid shouldn't have a problem

The thyroid forums are full of people on meds but still struggling with weight, fatigue, cold etc

Well, of course it would, 50DayChicken. He'd have been spilling his excess into empty air instead of dumping it in someone's lap. Not any more comfortable for himself granted, but at least he wouldn't have been making it someone else's problem.

Fanjo, what do you make of projections that half of the UK will soon be obese?

In your view, would the non-obese half of the UK be reasonable to question the tenability of this situation?

Can sort of sympathise. I sat behind the tallest person in the theatre to watch 'the lion king' for my 40th b day. I had to watch it leaning well over into my young dds seat. But I still enjoyed the show and just put it down to being a little unlucky.

Well, goodbye.

For one I dont like to think of people in terms of monetary value.

Plus that is totally nothing to do with me objecting to the fat bashing on this thread.

If half the population is obese then surely chairs should be bigger to avoid this situation.

But then we'd all pay more as there would be less capacity in venues.

Yanbu, it's not fair for him to take part of your seat as well as his. He ought to have paid for more than one seat.

I was talking to a vet friend of mine a while ago about overweight pets. She said she sees loads of them these days and it is really difficult raising it with the owners especially as they more often than not have overweight owners. People are so oversensitive about weight, any mention of somebody being overweight is seen as 'fat shaming' my friend has even lost clients by very legitimately, bringing up the weight of their pet.

I've spend a flight (years ago) in discomfort and pain wedged under a fat person, never again. Back then I didn't have the confidence to say 'no, I won't put the arm rest down' I hope I will have next time, I suspect I probably won't though and will probably just smile and say nothing.

All the posters insisting obesity is not just down to overeating and is due to disability/trauma/MH does this also apply to all the overweight/obese children and how do you explain the dramatic rise in obesity in both adults and children, and pets for that matter? Is it just an increase disability/trauma/MH problems in the population?

Liquorice

You said that under active thyroid issues can be managed by medication, I assumed that you were referring to weight issues

My point is that just because someone has an underactive thyroid and manages their weight doesn't mean that everyone can

Same with any other medical issues I suppose, people have different experiences of them

liquorice

Same here with 9stone and eating what I liked back in the day

Not bloody fair is it

Fanjo,

For one I dont like to think of people in terms of monetary value.

That's not what I said, what I asked is what do you make of the projections that half of the UK population will soon be obese?

Is it tenable to insist that the other half support this burden by way of yielding seat space, disproportionate NHS expenditures, obesity as disability/benefits, handicap parking spaces, etc without questioning this trend?

I suppose at some point we do have to think about money.

Of course that's what you were angling at.