Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

785 replies

Vijac · 22/06/2015 11:00

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

OP posts:
ThursdayLast · 22/06/2015 17:27

I don't think it difficult to see the difference between buying home gym equipment outright and paying a considerably smaller monthly subscription Daryl Confused they're two totally separate cicumstances.

Just wondering if the OP was leaving her DD with her daughters father in order to work out, would that still cause consternation?

I have left my own son crying to go for a run, with his father, my husband. Usually because he'd been crying All. Day. Long. And I needed not to listen to it anymore Grin

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 22/06/2015 17:31

Daryl OP said way up thread why she'd sooner exercise in a gym:
I do think I will feel better if I can get fit and lose weight. I think I eat emotionally from feeling down and so am finding it hard to lose weight by itself. Getting active and all the endorphins plus seeing adults etc can only help. My gym and crèche is quite affordable compared to many.

I'm sure the "I loved every minute with my children" stuff up thread will have helped her feel better about herself Hmm but still at least some people got to make a point.

ElkTheory · 22/06/2015 17:35

Poor OP, she just wanted to canvass opinions about twice weekly gym sessions and now it has turned into a "why bother having children if you don't want to raise them" bunfight.

FWIW, my husband grew up in a society in which all adults worked (with very few exceptions) and SAHMs were unheard of. He and his friends are indistinguishable in every way from people I know who had SAHMs. Shrug. It seems rather silly to feel superior to others based solely on a decision to forego paid employment.

IPityThePontipines · 22/06/2015 17:39

YANBU.

Crumbs. This thread.

ReallyTired · 22/06/2015 17:44

"Surely if you can afford gym membership and the creche, you can afford some home fitness equipment? confused I had a 3yo and an under 1yo, and I lost over 3 stone (over the course of a year) by walking with the pram, and using a rowing machine and weights at home. "

Well, maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe the OP lacks space at home for home gym equipment or shock horror! Prehaps she quite likes to get out of the house and talk to someone over the age of five. Can you imagine attempting to use fitness equipment with a crawling baby at your feet. Frankly its better to have the baby safely looked after and entertained by nursery nurses while the mother has an hour or so in the gym.

In the past I had children in creches and I have experienced tears when they have not wanted to go home. Does that mean that a child who is loving nursery should be left there overnight?

TalkinPeace · 22/06/2015 18:07

Home gym equipment
Hmmm, sorry but my living room is not the right shape to fit a 20 metre swimming pool Wink
Or the yoga studio that fits 22 and gives me a life

Then again, maybe I should not have gone out to work either when they were small - except that I enjoy it and it makes me a more rounded person.

OP
Ignore the lentil knitters and enjoy your sessions.

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 18:09

lentil knitters Hmm

meglet · 22/06/2015 18:28

really I have foolishly attempted yoga or Shred at home with the kids. Result is them arsing around under my downward dog or they're trying to break their toes / the tv / the floor with my weights. don't get that in the gym!

Meerka · 22/06/2015 18:34

Hmmm, sorry but my living room is not the right shape to fit a 20 metre swimming pool wink

dear me TiP what sort of hovel do you live in?!

ScrumpyBetty · 22/06/2015 19:14

I would prefer it if people just looked after the children they had brought into the world, or didn't bother having them in the first place if they are just going to get someone else to look after them

What an insulting comment! Why on earth would you think that? The GP that you saw last week, the supermarket cashier at Tesco, the social worker down the road, the nurses, teachers, lawyers, all of them working mums....they should all give up their jobs and stay at home full time?

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:22

Are father's also expected to stay home and look after the children they had? Or does your bizarre view only extend to the mothers?

And as had been said, I doubt you have looked down with such disdain on the women who have been involved with your children throughout their lives, I.e dentists, doctors, nurses, teachers etc? Or should they have all stepped aside to allow the professions and society be dominated by men?

I'm a nurse.....I would love to know how I can work from home....

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 20:26

I'm a nurse.....I would love to know how I can work from home....

And I was a research scientist before having kids. Also hard to do from home. Which is why I had to change careers.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:28

But why should I have to?

And when am I supposed to find the time to retrain to obtain a more suitable career??

My DS is only in childcare two days a week - is that allowed?

TalkinPeace · 22/06/2015 20:29

Which is why I had to change careers.
I believe the word you are looking for is chose
Lucky your DH is so unreconstructed hat he does not expect you contribute to the coffers.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:30

What kind of job means you can work from home that provides enough of a salary that is similar to that of a research scientist to enable you to still pay your mortgage and bills like you did pre-DC??

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 20:42

Nothing like a research scientist.

Lucky your DH is so unreconstructed hat he does not expect you contribute to the coffers.

I earn as much as he does.

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 20:43

Talk- I had to change if I wanted to care for my children myself.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:44

By doing what?

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 20:45

Going to go against the grain here and say yes you are. My child goes to nursery two days a week (she is 10 months old) so you may think I am being hypocritical BUT, she goes because I have to work in order to pay the bills. I would never do it for my own personal pleasure.

I am a teacher and so get long holidays during which I will still be paying for childcare. There is absolutely no way she will be going to nursery on those days.

If I didn't have to work I'd never dream of doing it and certainly never for my own hobbies. I am a bit Shock at the posts saying out her in for longer and have a morning off!

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:47

And you still haven't explained how you did this lifestyle change?

Did you re-train prior to having your DC because you knew that you'd want to stay at home with them and your current job couldn't facilitate that?

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 20:47

I write and I sell out of print books online, I also do marketing work for a local artisan food producer.

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 20:48

I haven't retrained.

Marynary · 22/06/2015 20:48

I felt as you did Singsongsung. I only used childcare if I needed to work.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 20:50

singsong I have to pay for my childcare whether he's there or not too, and so I think 'why not send him?'

He lives going, there are a lot of benefits to him going there and by me having a day to myself enables me to get the housework done and just have some 'me time'. My DH is always finding time for him to do things for himself (sports, gym etc) so I feel no guilt in me having the same luxury.

Madamecastafiore · 22/06/2015 20:51

DD goes to nursery one day a week so I have a day to myself pottering and attending 2 classes and doing things I can't do without her.
She also goes to the crèche at the gym 5 of the 6 other days during the week for and hour or 90 minutes.
Works for us and she's a well adjusted sociable little girl. I am a better mother for having time to myself and my physical and mental wellbeing is dependant on the time I spend working out.
Please do what you feel is right not what others think.