Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

785 replies

Vijac · 22/06/2015 11:00

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

OP posts:
ScrumpyBetty · 23/06/2015 19:33

harsh your post made me laugh out loud

i'm glad singsong has shut up now about her fabulous children...she mentioned the word fabulous so many times one wonders if she has something to prove

OP- go to the gym, your LO will be fine!!

ScrumpyBetty · 23/06/2015 19:45

keep I still think you are incredibly blinkered

Yes you worked bloody hard to ensure that you could work from home, getting up at 5am, working during nap times and in the evenings and I admire that, honestly. But surely, how can you fail to understand that for many many women, myself included, we could not have done this. we cannot all work from artisan bakeries and earn enough to live on. It just can't be done.

I am also going to add that if I was getting up at 5am to work from home every day, working every evening and every nap time I would be feckin miserable, tired and this would result in me being a bloody awful mother! As it is, I work outside of the home 3 days a week, and when DS naps and in the evenings on my days at home this is my downtime and I love it!

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 20:18

scrumpy but we are all different.
I wouldn't be happy putting my baby into childcare to work.
As for 5 am starts- , and happen I am a morning person and enjoy my work.
Didn't make me miserable at all- just very happy that I didnt use childcare.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 20:21

I have no idea what you are talking about - artisan bakery?

TalkinPeace · 23/06/2015 20:27

keeptothe
Monday, 20:47 pm
I also do marketing work for a local artisan food producer.
if not bread, then what?

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 20:30

Is that the only product you can imagine talk?

No. This product is sold globally, we have contracts in Japan, China, supply Harrods, the Co-op. I am involved in marketing.

Not a small sausage roll shop,

TalkinPeace · 23/06/2015 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TalkinPeace · 23/06/2015 20:33

Oh no, silly me, you supply Harrods, it must be tourist tat as real foodies never darken their door any more.

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/06/2015 20:34
Grin
MitzyLeFrouf · 23/06/2015 20:34

Artisan War!

Jdee41 · 23/06/2015 20:37

Vijac

Have been following the thread, and I just wanted to say go for it. It sounds like a great plan - you'll feel the better of it, and your little one will get some 'socialising' at the nursery! :)

I imagine the first few times will be hard on you, cos she'll be on your mind, but once you get into a little routine you'll be able to relax and both enjoy it.

I live in a place where access to childcare is really difficult, so am totally jealous of posters who have a creche in their.gym! I would definitely take this up and I don't see how anyone could object.

Stick at it and don't worry. Enjoy the gym!

Marynary · 23/06/2015 20:42

I don't think that Keep is telling other people what they should do is she? She is just saying what she prefers to do. Why are people getting worked up about it?

liquoricetwirl · 23/06/2015 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nolim · 23/06/2015 21:01

Marynary: keep comes accross as someone who insists that her way is the best and other parents who do not or cannot do what she does are simply not doing enough for their dc.

For instance: For those of us that do want to stay at home and earn money- it can be done. But having the motivation to do so is the key.
I imagine that it takes more than motivation to do marketing for a product that is sold globally, we have contracts in Japan, China, supply Harrods, the Co-op.

Some ppl have careers that do not allow to work from home or dictate your own hours.

vvega · 23/06/2015 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meerka · 23/06/2015 21:03

It's the tone that comes through marynary

Looking after my own children was a huge priority for me, but it isn't for everyone.

It reads like anyone who doesn't look after their own children puts them as a low priority. One comment on its own might be accidently badly put but whiteline has made quite a number of comments that come over as "well I never let my children cry, if you do then they're not your priority, all you need to do is get up at 5am and work after they've gone to bed, I gave up my career to do that, how great am I!"

As said, one comment on its own is rarely much. But the sum total here is not exactly friendly. Especially as most reasonable people who kind of have a bad day posting tend to realise after they've been told by several different people and say 'oops, sorry!"

I don't think it's worth getting worked up about, but Mumsnetters do like a good bunfight =)

the only real pity is that the OP, who was unsure what was the best thing to do in the first place, was made even more unsure by 3-4 posters who haven't so much said 'well it's not for me" but taken this smug and sometimes highly critical tone - one poster called her selfish for wanting an hour in the gym :/

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/06/2015 21:03

Artisan Blackpool rock. I bet that's what it is.

tocmrpouce · 23/06/2015 21:04

This thread is depressing me. Poor OP was just looking for some reassurance. OP - it's fine!

I go to work and leave my dd in daycare. She didn't start until 13 months and it was tough and I was heartbroken leaving her as she cried. But with time it got better and now she loves it.

I am insulted by the insinuation that if I really wanted to look after my child I should just be more motivated. I would love to be a SAHM but there is no way I could bring in enough money working 5-7am and then in the evenings.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 21:05

*Marynary: keep comes accross as someone who insists that her way is the best and other parents who do not or cannot do what she does are simply not doing enough for their dc.
*

Rubbish, even your second quote shows that is not true"For those of us that do want to stay at home and earn money- it can be done. "

I have reiterated on almost every page on this thread that I understand childcare works for some families, some kids are very happy there.
I accept that is the case.
Equally can you not accept that that scenario is not what we all want.

vvega · 23/06/2015 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 21:07

Why the chip on the shoulder vvega?
You don't sound very secure in your choices.

Writerwannabe83 · 23/06/2015 21:08

It isn't that childcare works for some families, it's a case of it being necessary for some families.

Do you really believe that unless a woman adapts her working life in order to enable SAHP'hood then she isn't making her children her top priority?

vvega · 23/06/2015 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vvega · 23/06/2015 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 21:11

I didn't say that.
I wanted to be the caregiver for my children in the early years.
Is that so bad?
We made big changes in our lives to make that happen. We sold our home, relocated, moved jobs.
It doesn't make me a better or worse parent because of that- it was simply the way I wanted to do things.

Swipe left for the next trending thread