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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

785 replies

Vijac · 22/06/2015 11:00

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

OP posts:
tilder · 23/06/2015 06:39

It's threads like this, or rather the sanctimonious and superior tone of some posters, that makes me wonder why I read mn sometimes.

Ffs.

By the way, its easy to say 'i never left a crying baby' when said kids are grown up. Eighteen year old son heading off to New Zealand. Amazing recall. Amazing how its possible to work from home, earn a reasonable living and always be there for your kids.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 06:43

Easy to recall.

It was of paramount importance to me so easy to remember.

Amazing how its possible to work from home, earn a reasonable living and always be there for your kids.

Is that so difficult to understand?

Writerwannabe83 · 23/06/2015 06:53

It's easy to understand but not so easy to achieve for a lot of women. You don't seem willing to accept that though.

Singsongsung · 23/06/2015 07:06

Mitzy- laughing at that. It's AIBU. It's not "taking potshots", it's answering the question. The fact that my opinion differs to that of others doesn't make my opinion wrong.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 07:06

I totally accept that.

But it also depends on your motivations.
For some parents using a childminder or nursery is no big deal- and that is great if they find a solution that works for their family.
For me it was a non-starter. It was crucial for me ( and OH) that our children would be cared for at home by a parent.
Everything else had to be worked around that.

Whathaveilost · 23/06/2015 07:12

My leisure centre had a crèche in the room next to the gym and you could put children in from one week old in for up to 1hour 59mins as part of your membership. I did from a couple of weeks old for 4 times a week ( wish I went to the gym 4 times a week now, I struggle to make it once a week these days)

Absolutely no problem. Once I did my gym or class we would go swimming or tumble time or what ever it was called.

No attachment issues at all and we are very close. Kids are teenagers now!

Nolim · 23/06/2015 07:57

For some parents using a childminder or nursery is no big deal- and that is great if they find a solution that works for their family.

Keep this is probably the first time in this thread that you admit that it is fine for each family to find a solution that works for them. Your solution works for yours, mine works for mine.

We can agree to disagree.

LadyPlumpington · 23/06/2015 08:14

I think that is a reasonable statement, keep.

RinkRashDerbyKisses · 23/06/2015 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 08:54

It wasn't a luxury.
It was deliberate planning.
Getting up at 5am 7 days a week so I can slot in a couple of hours work before the kids wake.
Some may not find that to be a luxury.

Nolim · 23/06/2015 09:00

Getting up at 5am 7 days a week so I can slot in a couple of hours work before the kids wake.
Some may not find that to be a luxury.

Some may find that not enough fo feed their family.

LadyPlumpington · 23/06/2015 09:01

But you had the option (the luxury, if you will) of being able to do your work at home - many don't start their careers with a view to one day being able to fit said careers around children. I certainly didn't!

Meerka · 23/06/2015 09:03

keeptothewhiteline you're ignoring one very very big piece of luck you had

You were physically able to get up early and do all that childcare -and- work.

Not everyone is.

I'm afraid you are coming over as extraordinarily smug. You may not mean it that way, but it is.

LadyPlumpington · 23/06/2015 09:03

And I know, you changed career.... again, not an option for everyone without extra training and/or a wage cut.

I get the feeling that you believe everyone could stay at home to tend to their kids if only they had planned properly like you.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 09:03

nolim- it wasn't. THat was just an example of some of the effort I made to enjoy my "luxury". I worked 35 hours a week to earn the rest.

Meerka · 23/06/2015 09:05

and what nolim said. Some people may not find it enough to feed their family.

it's all a bit far away from two hours in the gym a week (dear me, what happened to a sense of proportion?) though!

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 09:06

lady- I don't think everyone wants to stay at home with their kids though. Some families are happy to use childcare and work outside home.

For those of us that do want to stay at home and earn money- it can be done. But having the motivation to do so is the key.

RinkRashDerbyKisses · 23/06/2015 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyPlumpington · 23/06/2015 09:15

So, do you think everyone could do it if only they had the motivation?

RinkRashDerbyKisses · 23/06/2015 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyPlumpington · 23/06/2015 09:20

For those of us that do want to stay at home and earn money- it can be done. But having the motivation, capability, funding, opportunity and flexibility to do so is the key.

Made a few edits there.

keeptothewhiteline · 23/06/2015 09:21

rinkrash- there are probably women working outside the home that don't earn what you do either.

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/06/2015 09:23

To say that everyone can work from home is nonsense. As well you know.

What exactly is it you do?

RinkRashDerbyKisses · 23/06/2015 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 23/06/2015 09:24

What is WRONG with some of you people. I just don't understand how every thread these days has to descend into an agressive/defensive battle. (Some of) you people are exhausting. This is truly not what mumsnet is for.

To some of you please stop rising to the bait and to others, stop being deliberately provocative.