To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

[Vijac]

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

Thank goodness I gave up giving a shiny shit what other people thought about my parenting style years ago, no wonder I was tied up in knots when DC1 was small!! I would do the the same asap OP .

I suppose if you hate your job it would be more difficult to motivate yourself to go to work (whether you have children or not). But if you love your job/career, have good childcare in place, etc., then working outside the home can certainly bring many positives to family life. Aside from the obvious financial gain. I could imagine giving up my career only in the most extreme of circumstances.

Frankly given the state of the nation in terms of sedentary lifestyle and obesity anyone who goes to the gym twice a week deserves congratulation and encouragement. Not criticism regarding childcare arrangements.

Flop be kind to yourself. It is perfectly ok to take into account your needs! A happy mum is a better mum.

Mide- well then she says "oh I like lifting weights but now I have a 7 month old baby so let me think of alternative ideas I can do to keep fit". Surely you have to accept some change in your life when you become a parent? Maybe I've just been getting it all wrong for the last 9 years..

Sing - no, obviously wanting to take part in fitness activities doesn't mean a crèche is the only option, but appreciate that for some people it is a really good option (intensity of workout, ability to focus/meet specific exercise needs, use of personal trainer, gradually introducing child to childcare).

"vvega but people are judging. I have been called a martyr, a crank, privileged and a lentil knitter on this thread.!"

There are several posters on this thread who seem think that mothers should sacrifice everything to their children. Some of the posts on this thread are extreme. Attachment parenting was never meant to be slavery.

The level of vitrol for the OP wanting to go the gym is shocking.

"Meg- so go in the evening while they're in bed. Join a pram pushing/exercise class. Go power walking with the pram etc etc. The gym is hardly the only option for keeping fit! Other choices would actually be beneficial for both- fresh air for the baby, fitness for the mum."

How does a pram pushing/ excercise class fit in with baby wearing?

Well yes I you've honestly done nothing for yourself for the past nine years then you really have been doing something wrong.
And you don't sound very happy tbh

Who mentioned baby wearing?!

there's quite a lot of room between "some change in life" and "child IS my life from now on". I personally would not have wanted to be the sole reason of existence for my own parents.

Yes of course you have to accept some change but that doesn't mean stopping. I go to the gym 6 times a week and before my daughter was born I used to go straight after work. Now I either go before work while she's sleeping or later in the evening while she's asleep. I'm lucky that I've got an understanding partner. I wouldn't want to stop all together tho because for me personally I feel it makes me a better parent and I value physical activity.

Sharon??!! I don't sound happy?! I'm as happy as Larry (whoever he is). And I have done lots for myself. My fab girls are both fast asleep, I'm slobbing on the sofa on MN while dh cooks a casserole for the freezer. My life is pretty sorted. I pined for kids for years, got them late in life and LOVE my time with them. Nothing makes me smile like they do so please don't judge my happiness based on your perception of what a person needs or doesn't need to be happy. I'm fine thanks.

So Mide, you go to the gym but you don't use a crèche. In fact you go in the evening when your baby is asleep. Kind of what I suggested earlier isn't it?

After reading this god it makes me depressed.

I was delighted to leave my baby to cry while trying to shower and get other kids ready

Go the gym op if you want to do that and are happy with childcare.

Why on earth do mothers have to make mums who use childcare feel utterly crap. I suffered horrific pnd and only thing that got me through was my 3 exercises classes a week. Dh worked away and I flew solo except 1 day a week. I became agoraphobic. I couldn't put dc down or leave him. Hv and gp suggested the gym and classes when dc was 6 months and I was spiralling downwards. My first class I checked dc every 10mins at least (door was opposite class door so u could see in creche). I got better.

When I went back to work pt. I sat in the reception and didn't go in the morning to work as I was so upset. Turned out dc was grand (kept peeping through the window).

Some of posters on here will make vulnerable mums feel even worse with their judgements

Vvega- can you accept that for some people, having children and being with them makes them fulfilled and that actually, you're a damn lucky child if you are the child of a parent who feels that way.

Someone who is truly happy with their life and choices tends to have a live and let live approach not pick pick pick at what others day that they deign to be wrong.

You've already seen a post from a mum who feels like shit about being judged for doing something vital to her health and well being yet you have still hammered your views home. So no, this does not fit in with my views of a happy individual 100% content with their choices

Yes it is what your suggesting but as I said I have an understanding partner ( and a home gym). Not everyone is as lucky as me. People shouldn't be made to feel guilty because they aren't with their kid 24/7.

sing those pram pushing classes aren't hard work though, unless you're coming to them with low fitness. For many people who were fit pre-dcs they wouldn't break a sweat. Lots of us need weights and boot camp classes or fast running, not pushing a buggy.

I'm a totally lp so I had to use childcare to work and go to the gym. No going out in the evening to run either.

In fact it's a jolly good thing I never stopped going to the gym, I've just found out I've got a minor heart problem which will almost certainly never cause a problem because I'm so fit. If I hadn't continued when the dc's were preschoolers it could have been different.

FlopismyMantra I hope things are getting better for you. I found exercise such a positive thing with I had PND.

There is life after PND and after it I have become quite hard about what I need and just because another mother doesn't get that, or never needed it it doesn't make me any less of a person, or a bad mother. I am just different to them.

Actually Sharon I think the opposing views to mine have been stated far more strongly. This is AIBU on MN. Opinions are asked for, opinions are offered. That's how it works.

And I will add that my comments have been in reference to the OP who makes no mention of any PND, medical opinion or anything else but simply that she wants to get fitter. She also doesn't seem to suggest that she is so desperately fit already that only the gym will do the job.